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[ENTP] Small talk?

SwimmerGal97

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I fit the ENTP type fairly well, however, I still don't consider myself a classic extrovert (although my energy comes from outside influence if not direct contact, which is still extroverted, right?). The thing that bugs me most is small talk. ENTP's seem talkative and charming, and with that surely comes a gift for small talk. I personally despise small talk and prefer to get on with what I'm doing without fuss. Are there any other ENTP's out there who feel the same or are you all gobby?
 

Inarius

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"E" is more linked to the order of you use your cognitive function than the fact that you like contact or not (even if your third function "Fe", could have an influence). It depends on your age and your level of (im)maturiy.

On your question, sure : it's something common of most NT. Most of NT's don't like small talk. But, on the other hand, most ENTP are very talkative. It doesn't seem, in my opinion, that talking and small talk are linked.

I think that most extroverts will tell you the same thing : we (more or less) like to talk, we like to have a good chat, but on interesting subject.

The real issue is...we don't have the same definition of "interesting". What I call small talk is not something I consider as "interesting". Other people will.
 

Betty Blue

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I don't find ENTP's to be much into small talk at all.... I often see them cutting to the chase and bouncing over the top of small talk. That's not to say they won't listen to people of interest babbling on. However they are probably more reading between the lines than listening to the minutiae of droll conversationing. I love to have conversations but I do struggle with small talk... I can engage in it but find it utterly boring and just a means to an end or a way of getting past barriers with people. If it goes on and on with gossip etc I will become quite drained especially if unable to change the conversation into something more interesting/unknown to me. Idk maybe ENFP's are more able with small talk but it's not something I would associate with ENTP's.
 

Qre:us

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I fit the ENTP type fairly well, however, I still don't consider myself a classic extrovert (although my energy comes from outside influence if not direct contact, which is still extroverted, right?).

Extroversion does not necessitate that the energy derivation is from other humans. Just externally derived. I find energy in interacting with my environment, and seeing the 'what if' within any moment. Sometimes, I rather not be distracted by other humans in that environment.

The thing that bugs me most is small talk.

Sometimes, there's functionality to small talk, but I can't engage in it without being acutely aware that I'm doing it. I will often be thinking of the next neutral question to ask, and how that question might successfully achieve the desired effect (e.g., have I spent enough time engaging with that individual, and how can I make a graceful exit?). Like seeing an acquaintance at a party/social gathering. I often feel like it's contrived on some level, and that they can tell that I'm faking interest to be polite. It feels awkward.

I will also try to take the direction of the small talk in a path that is interesting to me. This is my go-to strategy, as any conversation has a potential to be interesting, and I'm not too bad at social engineering to steer it in that direction.

ENTP's seem talkative and charming, and with that surely comes a gift for small talk. I personally despise small talk and prefer to get on with what I'm doing without fuss. Are there any other ENTP's out there who feel the same or are you all gobby?

In professional setting, I am known to be quite to the point, and direct. I find small talk quite frustrating and a waste of time. My emails are apparently even more so. I often reply with, "Done" and the relevant report attached. I can be very opposed to fluff and fillers in terms of social convention.
 

á´…eparted

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He's just one person, but a friend of mine is an ENTP and he does not enjoy small talk at all. Yet, he is very extroverted (at least 2x as much as I am and I'm pretty extroverted), and talks a ton about all kinds of things. It's possible for any one person regardless of type to like or dislike small talk, but I have noticed a trend that xxTP's in general seem to enjoy small talk the least, where as ExFx types seem to enjoy it to most (I for one love small talk, given I am interested in the subject matter, which I usually am).
 

Paloma

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I despise small talk. It exhausts me and I get bored very quickly. I love to talk, but only when the conversation is mentally stimulating.
 

Luke O

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I fit the ENTP type fairly well, however, I still don't consider myself a classic extrovert (although my energy comes from outside influence if not direct contact, which is still extroverted, right?). The thing that bugs me most is small talk. ENTP's seem talkative and charming, and with that surely comes a gift for small talk. I personally despise small talk and prefer to get on with what I'm doing without fuss. Are there any other ENTP's out there who feel the same or are you all gobby?

The ENTPs I know like to ask the big questions, the kind of stuff that makes people think and is a challenge for most to answer. Tbh I prefer that.
 

1010830

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How about this: read each description of each type from the 16 personalities website and regardless of the test result you got, see for yourself the profile you can relate the most to.
 

Felix5

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Are ENTPs supposed to enjoy small talk? They know how to do it well, but that doesn't mean that they are loving every moment of it. I work in retail with an ENTP and I can tell she hates 90% of the conversation she's having (she will gesture to me or tell me about it later, but she's damn good at it.

Being an extrovert simply means you get your energy off of being around other people. It doesn't remark on whether or not your enjoy it.

I would imagine ENFPs and INFPs would find the idea of being alone much more upsetting than an ENTP. ENFPs get stir crazy when they are shut away alone for too long.

I am an INTJ and I have no problem with small talk. Sometimes I find it's kind of nice and I enjoy being polite and helpful to people. I find that I feel much better than I would not saying anything at all. Now, I am no extrovert and find too much social interaction for too long exhausting, but sometimes enjoy small talk.

I don't understand people who say they "don't get it," what's there to get?? Someone asks you a question and you answer. What could be more rational and to the point?

Perhaps you dislike small talk because you are craving more intelligent conversation. That's a possibility as well. If that is the case, then you should hunt down some INTJs/FPs/FJs. They will be more than happy to oblige.
 

ZNP-TBA

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Being an extrovert simply means you get your energy off of being around other people. It doesn't remark on whether or not your enjoy it.

I don't think this quite hits the mark. Being an extrovert means you are primarily stimulated by external reality rather than subjective impressions. Both can be energizing and draining depending on a whole shitload of factors.

I would imagine ENFPs and INFPs would find the idea of being alone much more upsetting than an ENTP. ENFPs get stir crazy when they are shut away alone for too long.

Extraverts in general would hate to be locked in an environment with little to no external stimulation. That stimulation doesn't have to be people necessarily.

I am an INTJ and I have no problem with small talk. Sometimes I find it's kind of nice and I enjoy being polite and helpful to people. I find that I feel much better than I would not saying anything at all. Now, I am no extrovert and find too much social interaction for too long exhausting, but sometimes enjoy small talk.

A little bit of small talk is ok. I'm neutral about it ( I don't get pissed about it or overly excited). Too much of it is annoying but none of it leaves little for icebreakers when dealing with people and if you are not one for any small talk then it makes you seem unapproachable. If someone wants to talk sports with me I'm interested in the readers digest rundown of what's happening but not an extended conversation on stats and teams.

I don't understand people who say they "don't get it," what's there to get?? Someone asks you a question and you answer. What could be more rational and to the point?

I think they mean people who are interested in nothing but small talk.

Perhaps you dislike small talk because you are craving more intelligent conversation. That's a possibility as well. If that is the case, then you should hunt down some INTJs/FPs/FJs. They will be more than happy to oblige.

It's irrational to just expect everyone to be in full-fledged intellectual mode. Again, small talk may be required as an icebreaker. You can also make small talk interesting by positing hypotheticals regarding the small talk topic. A sports fan may be interested in answering the question "What if the QB is permanently injured and the new QB is from rival team? What's your opinion if that happened?" It's interesting to see their thinking process even in something so mundane as sports talk.
 

Felix5

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I don't think this quite hits the mark. Being an extrovert means you are primarily stimulated by external reality rather than subjective impressions. Both can be energizing and draining depending on a whole shitload of factors.

I find people exhausting most of the time, eventually it shows physically and I run out of steam. The ENTP I work with can go 15 hours with showing any exhaustion. So I think energy definitely plays a part in extroversion v introversion.

I'm talking strictly about communication here, I'm not going to get into how one's brain works. That's a bit too complicated for me, plus I'm not sure if it's relevant in this guy's case. He doesn't seem to like small talk and enjoys working by himself. I wonder if he is an ENTP or if he's bored with a lot of the conversations he's having.

Extraverts in general would hate to be locked in an environment with little to no external stimulation. That stimulation doesn't have to be people necessarily.

But it makes a huge difference for them. INFPs may be alright with films, music, and television, but ENFPs need human interaction. They're like puppies LOL, they need to be petted every once in awhile.

A little bit of small talk is ok. I'm neutral about it ( I don't get pissed about it or overly excited). Too much of it is annoying but none of it leaves little for icebreakers when dealing with people and if you are not one for any small talk then it makes you seem unapproachable. If someone wants to talk sports with me I'm interested in the readers digest rundown of what's happening but not an extended conversation on stats and teams.

I see it as more beneficial than harmful. Instead of going an entire day without talking to people, it's probably better for anyone (introvert or extrovert) to say something than to shut themselves away.

Too much and I'm out of there though lol.

I think they mean people who are interested in nothing but small talk.

I don't know, I always hear INTJs say they just don't get small talk or they can't do it. I do find people who are interested in nothing but small talk exhausting, especially if they won't shut up. However, I have no problem talking to people who aren't always up for a deep political discussion. Sometimes I just want to talk about silly, superficial things.

It's irrational to just expect everyone to be in full-fledged intellectual mode. Again, small talk may be required as an icebreaker. You can also make small talk interesting by positing hypotheticals regarding the small talk topic. A sports fan may be interested in answering the question "What if the QB is permanently injured and the new QB is from rival team? What's your opinion if that happened?" It's interesting to see their thinking process even in something so mundane as sports talk.

I definitely agree here. I think ENTPs may get the brunt of most small talk because they are so chatty. Deep down however, they need intellectual stimulation every once in awhile.
 

ZNP-TBA

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I find people exhausting most of the time, eventually it shows physically and I run out of steam. The ENTP I work with can go 15 hours with showing any exhaustion. So I think energy definitely plays a part in extroversion v introversion.

Depends on the person. A lot of people I find exhausting after a while. Other people I can chat with for hours and keep going until physical tiredness takes hold. Energy does play a role but I think it depends on what the dominant extroverted function is. A Te dominant is not going to drink from the same pool of energy as a Ne dominant.

I'm talking strictly about communication here, I'm not going to get into how one's brain works. That's a bit too complicated for me, plus I'm not sure if it's relevant in this guy's case. He doesn't seem to like small talk and enjoys working by himself. I wonder if he is an ENTP or if he's bored with a lot of the conversations he's having.

I'm like your friend. I don't really go looking for small talk unless it's a necessary icebreaker. I easily get bored so finding someone who can keep up with me is definitely a plus.



But it makes a huge difference for them. INFPs may be alright with films, music, and television, but ENFPs need human interaction. They're like puppies LOL, they need to be petted every once in awhile.

I've shortened my list of friends down to just an inner circle of interesting people. It doesn't mean I harshly rejected other friends its just that I don't go out of my way to hang out with them. I think an ENFP is more people focused than an ENTP so I can see your reasoning there.



I don't know, I always hear INTJs say they just don't get small talk or they can't do it. I do find people who are interested in nothing but small talk exhausting, especially if they won't shut up. However, I have no problem talking to people who aren't always up for a deep political discussion. Sometimes I just want to talk about silly, superficial things.

It's a matter of personal interest. INTJs I know would rather discuss the 'big issues' rather than mundane things.



I definitely agree here. I think ENTPs may get the brunt of most small talk because they are so chatty. Deep down however, they need intellectual stimulation every once in awhile.

I don't know if we get the 'brunt' of small talk. I understand its purpose and how its useful but I only get super chatty with someone that piques my intellectual curiosity.
 

Coriolis

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I don't know, I always hear INTJs say they just don't get small talk or they can't do it. I do find people who are interested in nothing but small talk exhausting, especially if they won't shut up. However, I have no problem talking to people who aren't always up for a deep political discussion. Sometimes I just want to talk about silly, superficial things.
I can do smalltalk, I just hate it. I reach my limit quickly, and then want to beat my head against a wall, take a hot shower, have a drink, or all of the above. For me it has no purpose.
 

Forever

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Haha I use small talk as a gateway if I can. Usually it's difficult and I'm not really into it much either. Sometimes people find it rude just for me to jump straight in. Others are baffled when I try to do small talk, others are touched. It's always a gamble when type for me cannot be identified in the moment.
 

Dreamer

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I don't find ENTP's to be much into small talk at all.... I often see them cutting to the chase and bouncing over the top of small talk. That's not to say they won't listen to people of interest babbling on. However they are probably more reading between the lines than listening to the minutiae of droll conversationing. I love to have conversations but I do struggle with small talk... I can engage in it but find it utterly boring and just a means to an end or a way of getting past barriers with people. If it goes on and on with gossip etc I will become quite drained especially if unable to change the conversation into something more interesting/unknown to me. Idk maybe ENFP's are more able with small talk but it's not something I would associate with ENTP's.

That's precisely my view on it too. I don't hate small talk, but I see it as a crucial way to pivot an initial interaction with a stranger into an actual conversation with them. I think it only really grates me when no attempts on my end are able to progress the conversation towards something deeper and we just dance around the punch bowl for longer than three minutes.

But shoot, even when I'm just using small talk, I'm still gathering information about them unconsciously, so it's not like all this effort of talking is being wasted :wink:
 

Felix5

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Depends on the person. A lot of people I find exhausting after a while. Other people I can chat with for hours and keep going until physical tiredness takes hold. Energy does play a role but I think it depends on what the dominant extroverted function is. A Te dominant is not going to drink from the same pool of energy as a Ne dominant.

I feel this way too, but I find though, that these conversations to be a form of introversion. My boyfriend is an INFP and we could literally spend an entire month around each other (we are long distance). Usually because the things we do are introverted activities, watching movies, listening to music, just..hanging around the house. Our conversations are usually pretty deep and when they aren't we are usually just hanging out watching a show or something.

When I think extroverted communication, I think of hanging around at a party, talking to groups of people, interacting in customer service (you are dealing with multiple people at once).

I consider Introverted communication to be one on one interaction. I think that's why INTJs prefer it so much.

It's a matter of personal interest. INTJs I know would rather discuss the 'big issues' rather than mundane things.

Sure, but sometimes we like to just break the ice or just be polite. I don't always want to talk about politics, philosophy, or art. Sometimes I just want to know how you're doing or show that I'm interested in your well being. ISFJs are really big on this, they need you to show that you care. Perhaps I pay more attention to this because my entire family are ES/IS types and I know how to interact with them.

I don't know if we get the 'brunt' of small talk. I understand its purpose and how its useful but I only get super chatty with someone that piques my intellectual curiosity.

I'm like this as well. When I do initiate conversations with customers, I find that they are usually related to some philosophical matter. Now...the weather is always easy to talk about, I'll start quoting the almanac for them lol. I had a customer talk about black friday sales the other day, which delved in our inability to be find material satisfaction. (although this guy comes off as an IN type to me, I'm thinking INFJ).
 

Felix5

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I can do smalltalk, I just hate it. I reach my limit quickly, and then want to beat my head against a wall, take a hot shower, have a drink, or all of the above. For me it has no purpose.

I guess I've been in customer service too long! I'm not a huge fan, but I don't find it difficult. One thing I hate is when I ask people how they are today and they don't answer or answer in a guttural grunt. Like...really?? Just answer the question! How rude is that it!

I will keep asking until I get an answer.

I find it stunning that people can be so rude, but then again I do deal with the public.
 

Acer Scout

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How do entps start conversations?

I'm not sure about other ENTP's but I try to find something the other person is interested in, and talk about that. I love learning about other people, am I'm aware that people love talking about themselves.
 

ZNP-TBA

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I feel this way too, but I find though, that these conversations to be a form of introversion. My boyfriend is an INFP and we could literally spend an entire month around each other (we are long distance). Usually because the things we do are introverted activities, watching movies, listening to music, just..hanging around the house. Our conversations are usually pretty deep and when they aren't we are usually just hanging out watching a show or something.

Given the fact that you are spending time with someone else ( I.e. external to you) then it is , by definition, an extroverted activity. I do similar things with my INFJ and we enjoy it.

When I think extroverted communication, I think of hanging around at a party, talking to groups of people, interacting in customer service (you are dealing with multiple people at once).

I think you are mistaking Jung's understanding of extroversion with the colloquial pop culture understanding of extroversion. Jung never said AFAIK introversion is just communicating with one person ( outside yourself) and extroversion is more. You're literally making that up. lol
I think that has more do with instinctual tendencies described in Enneagram theory. Sx's tend to like 1 on 1 interaction while So's prefer more ( that is my crude understanding of it anyway). I don't really like parties and prefer the 1 on 1 interaction with an intelligent person or a small group where I can communicate more effectively.

I consider Introverted communication to be one on one interaction. I think that's why INTJs prefer it so much.

Nope. Introverted communication is communicating with yourself maybe through art , composing music, meditation, etc. When you involve a source external to yourself then that is an extroverted activity. ;) INTJ's have aux Te which motivates you to communicate your Ni thoughts in a structured sort of way.


Sure, but sometimes we like to just break the ice or just be polite. I don't always want to talk about politics, philosophy, or art. Sometimes I just want to know how you're doing or show that I'm interested in your well being. ISFJs are really big on this, they need you to show that you care. Perhaps I pay more attention to this because my entire family are ES/IS types and I know how to interact with them.

I agree. Fe looks for external validation where Fi doesn't.


I'm like this as well. When I do initiate conversations with customers, I find that they are usually related to some philosophical matter. Now...the weather is always easy to talk about, I'll start quoting the almanac for them lol. I had a customer talk about black friday sales the other day, which delved in our inability to be find material satisfaction. (although this guy comes off as an IN type to me, I'm thinking INFJ).

Typical Ni. Taking a small sliver of information ( the stranger on the phone) and creating a full mental portrait of them in your mind. lol
 
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