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[NT] INTx and bullying.

Angry Ayrab

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Mar 31, 2008
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600
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ENFP
I was discussing with an INTP friend the effects of the environment on personality development. He told me that INTx personalities were more likely to have been preyed upon by bullies. He says that because they are usually more in their head than being social, they would probably give off a non assertive image, which is something bullies pick up on. He then said that being treated unfairly probably lead them to being more T and valuing justice over anything.

I can’t find anything that in the literature that mentions this, so where the heck is he getting this (out of his ass I presume). Also, I would think that being picked on could possibly make you more of a feeler and in touch with the emotions of others because of how much emotional crap bullies can put you through. Then again, his argument makes sense to me, so have at it. What was your type and when you were a kid were you a bully, a victim, a bystander, etc…

Personally, I was the loudmouth that always had an idea up his sleeve to get everyone involved in doing something stupid. I always made sure to hang out with everyone, especially people who were shy. I also, did get in a lot of fights as a kid, with the self proclaimed tuff kids that picked on people, I really hated it. If I knew I would get in trouble fighting, I would just get them in a yo mama smack down. I always won because I knew how to get the crowd on my side even if my jokes were lame.

How about you?
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
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Apr 14, 2008
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ENFJ
Let's see...

Back in third grade, I was picked on by this one kid who was twice my size. He picked on everyone, though.

So what I decided to do was act all flirtatious towards him to confuse him. This was third grade, mind you.

What happened is that we both ended up in the office for bullying. Apparently he'd told on me. WTF.
 

Angry Ayrab

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Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
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ENFP
Let's see...

Back in third grade, I was picked on by this one kid who was twice my size. He picked on everyone, though.

So what I decided to do was act all flirtatious towards him to confuse him. This was third grade, mind you.

What happened is that we both ended up in the office for bullying. Apparently he'd told on me. WTF.

lmfao, how would an eight year old know how to flirt? Amazing, only an INTJ.
 

istpunk

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Jan 13, 2008
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istp
I disagree on types being bullied. In a majority environment of INTs, I'm very sure they would bully someone who is ENFJ, ESFP, etc because they hold substantial control of their scope. And they would not bully in front of face, but would do so subtly in a passive way which is in fact bullying if you think about it.

You INTxs should not think you're much different, In my opinion the only introverts that truly stand up for other introverts fairly or try to do so would be ISxPs.

Also, true. ENFPs like to start up shit and imagine that others are out to get them. Everywhere on the internet they're seen as lovable bunnies, I know you guys inside you don't fool me one bit.
 

Haphazard

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I have a feeling that INTx types may be too oblivious to realize they're being bullied too much. (Well... INTJs. Maybe not INTPs so much.)
 

Angry Ayrab

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I got bullied a lot haha.

I don't know, but ENTJ to me would seem like the ultra bully, or was that ESTJ?

Also, true. ENFPs like to start up shit and imagine that others are out to get them. Everywhere on the internet they're seen as lovable bunnies, I know you guys inside you don't fool me one bit.

Maybe a little true, I sure loved to start shit up with kids I percieved as acting like they were bad asses. I don't know why but that always got to me, I also knew how to get everyone on my side and make them seem like they started the crap.
 

istpunk

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I had to revenge for one of my ENFP friends more than a couple times. I enjoyed attacking enemies of my friends. Especially ENTJs/ESTJs who talk nonsense all the fucking time.

Maybe a little true, I sure loved to start shit up with kids I percieved as acting like they were bad asses. I don't know why but that always got to me, I also knew how to get everyone on my side and make them seem like they started the crap.
 

Didums

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Jun 20, 2008
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INTs can be bullies too! Mental bullies! We'll screw with your brain so you look like this :shocking: and then your head will explode.
 

murkrow

Branded with Satan
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Jul 19, 2008
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I don't know, but ENTJ to me would seem like the ultra bully, or was that ESTJ?

that's ESTJ.

ENTJs can be bullies but we don't really fit with the scheme enough to be real popular ones.

I was bullied but that's not to say I didn't aggravate most of the dislike that was directed towards me, however the people I aggravated were never the ones who bullied me.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
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From what I know INTx will be a victim of bullying if he/she is good and totally geeky.

But if he/she is dark, unsocial , odd and creepy even the bullys will avoid them.
 

substitute

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You as a kid, in the OP, sound a lot like my brother.

When I was a kid I had severe shall we say, identity issues, which interfered a lot with what my interactions and behaviour might otherwise have been like. IOW my childhood was stolen from me by a congenital disorder that ruled it.

I was bullied a lot as a result of the disorder and as a result of the bullying I became withdrawn and extremely unsociable. However, being a strong extravert this did me no good at all and I became extremely depressed.

Much later, when I was almost leaving school, I made a bunch of friends among the misfits that didn't go to my school, so I had this double life of being life and soul of the social group outside school, and then the quiet, shy geek in school.

I've been told as an adult that I've bullied one or two people, though it wasn't my intention and I didn't realise I was doing it at the time and once it was pointed out I was mortified and immediately apologised to the person and tried to make amends.

Once you lose or overcome your social anxieties that come through various reasons, it's actually quite frightening how easy it is to fall into the trap of being a bully without realising it. I mean it's bizarre how behaviour that one person intends as benevolent can be taken so very differently by the person on the receiving end. This is why now I tend to like to hang out with people who are quite loud and assertive, because I feel sorta reassured that if I were overstepping my boundaries, they'd tell me in no uncertain terms, I don't have to fear with them that I might find out that all along when I thought we were friends and they were as happy as me, that they actually believed I was bullying them.

It's funny how quickly a person can forget, as I do sometimes, how something that now comes naturally to me (i.e. being assertive and stuff) can be so hard for another person to do, and that you can't behave in a way that takes for granted that people will tell you if they object.
 

Jasdevi

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Also, true. ENFPs like to start up shit and imagine that others are out to get them. Everywhere on the internet they're seen as lovable bunnies, I know you guys inside you don't fool me one bit.

My sis is ENFP and she makes people thinks she's nice and makes people think i'm some anti-social freak and uncaring freak which i'm not.
 

cafe

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My INT husband was bullied a lot more than I was and a lot worse. I flip out and turn into a raving, flailing psycho when people try to pull that crap with me. The contrast between that and my normal persona seemed to shock people and made them back off.

I also usually had friends, often big friends.
 

ygolo

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I wonder if other INTx still feel like they are being bullied. I kind-of do. I was bullied often as a kid, but could hold my own in a fight, so the bullies moved on to my friends.

It seems like in most workplaces (at least at big American companies, or at least mine) have an ESJ mentality to the point the mottos and attitudes thrown around (especially when giving feedback at review time) are anti-IN (be more Extraverted, be more Sensing may not come out--actually "be more extroverted" was in several of my later reviews, I can use Si pretty well), and since it affects your livelyhood, and career (which is often important for INTs), it can feel like bullying.
 

Angry Ayrab

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I wonder if other INTx still feel like they are being bullied. I kind-of do. I was bullied often as a kid, but could hold my own in a fight, so the bullies moved on to my friends.

It seems like in most workplaces (at least at big American companies, or at least mine) have an ESJ mentality to the point the mottos and attitudes thrown around (especially when giving feedback at review time) are anti-IN (be more Extraverted, be more Sensing may not come out--actually "be more extroverted" was in several of my later reviews, I can use Si pretty well), and since it affects your livelyhood, and career (which is often important for INTs), it can feel like bullying.

May god have mercy on you people. I could never work in a ESJ world. All those bullshit acronyms and posters of nice scenery with words like teamwork, responsibilty, honesty, integrity, and all kinds of SOP bullshit. Man I would die right there on the spot, if I was assigned to the sales task force for IBM or some other corporate enviornment. My father is the biggest ESTJ on Earth, and it was always his way or his way before I murder you rude little animals for being so ungratefull. Put it this way, if it involves any paper work or beauracracy or a standart way of doing things, and I am forced to do it that way, then I will consider it bullying.
 

Kora

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I was bullied as a kid. I never talked to my schoolmates, because I felt nothing in common with them, and they felt like I was 'offending' them.
First it hurt me, because I felt terribly alone without nobody who could understand me and I didn't even want to go to school. But after some years, I realized that it made me stronger... and that I could counterattack them. I guess I become colder.
So, when I was like ten or eleven, I made cry one of my bulliers telling him that 'he was a good-for-nothing and he would be on drugs and end dead in a alley'.
My new brand bigmouth put me in a lot of trouble, though. It's not very smart to tell something quite offensive to some bully who is larger than you and is with four or more friends.
Luckily, my wit was liked by most teachers, and somehow they supported me. It also helped that my father is a very important figure in my town, I guess.

In the end, I'm quite happy that I got bullied. If they accepted me, maybe I would have become one of them.
 

Haphazard

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ENTJs can be bullies but we don't really fit with the scheme enough to be real popular ones.

ENTJs are NTJs. That means that they may end up bullying people so they can getting what they want. ESTJs are more likely to do it for more 'social' reasons.
 

nottaprettygal

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Don't bullies usually search for the sensitive and/or passive kid in the class? I couldn't imagine them getting the desired emotional reaction from an INT.

When I was bullied, I just came up with ways to avoid it (enter funny fat girl). Or when I was fed up, I would lash out with some insults that I had been gathering in my head. Apparently, they were pretty good because I was pretty much left alone after that.

Ps may react differently, but I think that INTJs would do their best to avoid being passively bullied.
 
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