• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NT] INTx and bullying.

Schizm

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2007
Messages
134
MBTI Type
INTP
I dealt with a bully once

He took a swing at me. I pushed he down the bleachers. That was the end of it.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
Don't bullies usually search for the sensitive and/or passive kid in the class? I couldn't imagine them getting the desired emotional reaction from an INT.

When I was bullied, I just came up with ways to avoid it (enter funny fat girl). Or when I was fed up, I would lash out with some insults that I had been gathering in my head. Apparently, they were pretty good because I was pretty much left alone after that.

Ps may react differently, but I think that INTJs would do their best to avoid being passively bullied.

I tried ignoring my tormentors, I mean I would just act like they weren't there and say/do nothing as they gave their worst and all that did was drive them into new frenzies of trying to provoke me. It is not true when adults tell children that ignoring is the best way to go. Better to do as you did and lash back.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My daddy taught me to give them and the system chances to work propery first. After a few failures I cut out the BS and gave them a chance to either talk to me or talk to my fist. By the time I hit high school I was the one the bullies p34rd. One dumb ass in grade nine was picking on a friend of mine, I told him to fuck off, he invited me to a "friendly chat" after school. I showed up, he didn't. :SaiyanSmilie_anim:
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
I tried ignoring my tormentors, I mean I would just act like they weren't there and say/do nothing as they gave their worst and all that did was drive them into new frenzies of trying to provoke me. It is not true when adults tell children that ignoring is the best way to go. Better to do as you did and lash back.

If you let them step over you once, its over, they will keep riding over you till you cold cock em one day. I agree.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
If you let them step over you once, its over, they will keep riding over you till you cold cock em one day. I agree.

Yes. I think when kids bully or mob that they aren't always looking for "reaction" but rather a chance to bond with each other in the group action of dehumanizing and excluding someone.

They feel close in that moment of having a chosen common target and it makes them feel good. It is a social action as much as anything else.

It is also about feeling that there is someone "less" than they are and that makes them feel better about themselves. They aren't always exactly like internet trolls who troll for sheer reaction.

Therefore the conventional wisdom that, "don't give them a reaction and they'll move on" is false. They may not have been looking for reaction at all, but rather a target to focus bonding and venting on.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Yeah. I personally think the platitude that violence doesn't solve anything is a crock. If someone is bullying, the best thing you can do is come down fast and hard so they know it's going to cost them. Oftentimes that's enough.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Violence - last resort, but not to be excluded. :cool:
 

Wolf

only bites when provoked
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
2,127
MBTI Type
INTJ
Yeah, I was.

Then a very large bully a couple grades older than me said they were going to beat me up at lunch recess that day...that time I had a plan.

After that, they didn't mess with me anymore.

Mine was due to racism more than my personality, though the fact I was a star pupil probably didn't help.
 

pardo

New member
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
51
MBTI Type
istp
I was dark unsocial and blah blah too.

There was an idiot classmate in high school (1st year) who was starting to pick on me. One day I lost my nerves and hurled a heavy book in his eye. Lots of insults and menaces (and painXD) but teachers were nearby. When going home I expected an ambush in the courtyard but he wasn't there (as he said he would be). Coward, he was stronger than me. Maybe his eye ached too much lol (the day after, it looked indeed like a black eye:p).

And I was harassed a couple times by two other idiots from another class, on the way home. They were like pulling me back, saying stupid shit... I didn't know what to do with them. The first time they got me angry, maybe I shouted something at them, I don't remember. The second time I just ignored them and kept walking. Idiots.

And so I got past my youth without any good fights. What a shame. Sometimes I almost hoped someone would ambush me on the way to school. But there weren't real bullies in that neighborhood. That, or I wasn't looking like a loser enough for them.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
I was much smaller than the other kids, but because of that I could quickly grab onto the legs so that they would freak out.

The annoying thing was when they just started throwing rocks or food, and other crap at you from afar. Always in groups...cowards.

I think bullies just like to pick on kids that are different from them. My sister (ENFP) especially was picked on for the color of her skin. Girl bullies, I think, are more vicious, scratching and biting and that sort of thing.

I had an aquantance who had salt poured in his hair, I guess, for being a Math nerd.

Some kids became the butt of the jokes for everyone in school, due so amount of general weirdness. I always felt sorry for those kids.

Here again, I think girl bulies were more cruel, especially in high-school; they would fake interest in nerdy guys and laugh at them behind their backs. Or do some weird form of black-listing of particular girls that seem to hurt them quite badly, emotionally.

Then there were kids with huge backpacks or carried around stack of books and papers (I carried stacks, liked having stuff to read at the back of the classroom). People used to love smashing the stack down, and/or pulling down the kids with backpacks from behind (sent one to the emergency room).

Then, there was just general intimidation of younger kids. My middle school was next to the highschool, and we would pass by it on the walk home. They liked to flash knives and razor blades (I think that's what they were) just long enough to see the little kids run.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
I had an aquantance who had salt poured in his hair, I guess, for being a Math nerd.

Funny story.

I was never bullied in school but when I was in ninth grade one of the boys in my science class went to the back corner of the room with scissors. I sat at the back of the class and I heard him come up behind me but I didn't turn around. Then the whole class started laughing and I turned around and he was just standing behind me smirking.

I thought he cut my hair so then I started shacking my hair on the desk to see if he cut my ponytail or something. All these little hairs fell on my notebook and they were short and wiry and not mine.

He went into his pants, cut some of his pubes and sprinkled them on my head. I was absolutely stuck on stupid and started sputtering. I threw a piece of paper of him, called him a bitch ass bitch and pouted the rest of the class. :doh:
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Yea, people just love being so fucking intolerant.
I was bullied a little bit during elementary school.
They were soooooo retarded though!
I almost got this one group suspended for beating me up.. (they thought I would be too intimidated to tell on them, I think.)
 

nottaprettygal

New member
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
PM said:
He went into his pants, cut some of his pubes and sprinkled them on my head.

Eww. I feel like I would rather have my hair cut then have pubes put on my head.

Is that the 9th grade way of flirting?
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
proteanmix: I think it's safe to say if that guy hasn't changed his behaviors that he is having much trouble getting laid.
 
Top