Quote Originally Posted by Paris34 View Post
Okay, so I have thing, where if someone doesn't understand something I try my hardest to help make it clearer of easier for them to understand. I have a weird urge to want to help people learn (lol, maybe I should be a professor)...

And this isn't just for @gromit: if any one else wants to try to understand what its like to be trans, read on my lovelies, read on:

So the issue cis gender people tend to have (cis: person who's gender and sex align) is that when faced with the issue of trying to empathize with a trans person they find they can't. Which is totally understandable. You're not trans, so how are you supposed to know how that might feel?

But what I'm realizing is that they approach the whole "put yourself in the other person's shoes" the wrong way. Typically, a cis male would try and empathize by thinking "so if I were trans, then I'd want to be a girl." And he tries and he tries, but he can't quite empathize because he doesn't want to be female. Or he simply assumes that his gender would automatically align with his brain if he were female.

Instead, the question to reflect on instead is: How would I a man, feel if I were so easily mistaken for a woman that I had to pretend to be one, and not even my best friends or parents knew it was all an act?

Here's a scenario to help get the imagination flowing (assuming reader is cis male, if female merely switch descriptors/pronouns):
This is an interesting exercise. I have to admit, I have had many of the same reactions to people who take in the feminine aspects of my superfical appearance and make assumptions about who I am and what I am like based on that. I have bristled at being called things like "young lady", or the conversation about guys on the bus, or even the insulting homework critique, not to mention hearing my name all day, which I detest. It has never felt to me, however, that people were seeing me as a woman when I am a man, but rather that they simply aren't seeing the real me. They are expecting me to be like all the other women they know, rather than allowing for the possibility that a woman can be different. But then that's why I am not transgender, but simply an atypical woman. From the other perspective, it doesn't bother me much if people mistake me for a guy. I look and sound unambiguously female, though, so that only happens online or in writing.