[INTP] Are rationals close to each other?

[great_bay]

Do you think rationals can develop a close relationship with each others NT's? Conversations are always interested, however, could they be close?

 

[BadOctopus]

Being a Rational type doesn't mean that you can't forge close bonds. They might not be obvious to others, but they can be every bit as deep as those shared by Feeling types.

My roommate and I are both rationals (she's an ISTJ), and we're very close. We can tell each other pretty much anything. There is a mutual appreciation, because we both know that the other one will listen calmly and respectfully. We are also very comfortable with not talking at all. Our silences are never awkward, because we both value silence highly.

My oldest brother is also an ISTJ, and he's one of my favorite people in the world. Despite a considerable age difference, we've always been extremely close.

 

[great_bay]

Being a Rational type doesn't mean that you can't forge close bonds. They might not be obvious to others, but they can be every bit as deep as those shared by Feeling types.

My roommate and I are both rationals (she's an ISTJ), and we're very close. We can tell each other pretty much anything. There is a mutual appreciation, because we both know that the other one will listen calmly and respectfully. We are also very comfortable with not talking at all. Our silences are never awkward, because we both value silence highly.

My oldest brother is also an ISTJ, and he's one of my favorite people in the world. Despite a considerable age difference, we've always been extremely close.

That's your Kindred type. Not NT rationals. The name for Kindred implies a family closeness.

 

[Nicodemus]

They can be. My best friend is an INTJ as well, and although we rarely talk about feelings, we do share a great deal of thoughts and ideas, which creates a feeling of closeness.

 

[BadOctopus]

Oh, you changed it to NTs. Thanks for clarifying.

Well, my other brother is an INTP; although he can be an extrovert when he has to. We were best friends growing up. The only reason we're not as close as we were is because we live really far apart, and keep different hours.

We also like to go backpacking together. In my experience, you can't go backpacking with someone unless you're really close to them.

My dad is an ENTJ, but he's kind of intolerable.

 

[Showbread]

My INTJ aunt is married to an ENTP. I don't know how much they talk about their feelings... They're both highly educated and have extremely dry senses of humor though.

 

[Coriolis]

My SO is an INTP. I suppose that counts. Also, one of my better friends is ENTJ.

 

[Brinni]

I don't know how close I am to anyone really. It makes me wonder what being close to others means. Laughing, joking and sharing thoughts? Then yes.

I'm most comfortable with my NT friends I think. I don't see the need to share very personal details with anyone, but the rare occasion that I've trusted another with something of that nature, they were NT. The good thing about that is that it's then as if I never even said it, and I don't have to drag over it or discuss my feelings around it. It was more a comfortable trust exercise.

 

[Xander]

Yup.

There's an INTJ on here who stills speaks to me on Facebook and has visited me from the states. I have a local close friend who's an INTJ too and I get on very well with my father who's an ENTJ.

Closeness as implied is a matter of perspective. Do me or my father call the other to ask "how are you"? Not really. We call when we want to talk about something. We are still close because anything that happens to one which is of note, they tell the other and will discuss it (now we're past the whole splitting parents thing where nothing was discussed much to my disgust).

The ENTP I know I struggle to call "close" but he's very defensive. I guess an understanding of intellectual honesty needs to be established first.

 

[laterlazer]

Don't know too many NTs myself. The NTs I do know, whilst close, aren't any closer to me than my other close friends.

I do have an INTJ friend whose company I always enjoy, and miss when she's not around. We don't really keep in contact atm much though, I only keep in contact with a couple friends that put in the effort (cos I never really put in effort either). But whenever I meet up with close friends like her that I haven't talked to in a while, we can still communicate like we've been seeing each other every day.

On the other end of the spectrum the ENTJ in my design group irritates me to no end.

I don't currently know an NTPs personally.

 

[Eluded_One]

They can be. My best friend is an INTJ as well, and although we rarely talk about feelings, we do share a great deal of thoughts and ideas, which creates a feeling of closeness.

Did this all happen at a moment's notice, when you suddenly turned NT overnight?

 

[Nicodemus]

Did this all happen at a moment's notice, when you suddenly turned NT overnight?

No?

 

[grey_beard]

I don't know how close I am to anyone really. It makes me wonder what being close to others means. Laughing, joking and sharing thoughts? Then yes.

I'm most comfortable with my NT friends I think. I don't see the need to share very personal details with anyone, but the rare occasion that I've trusted another with something of that nature, they were NT. The good thing about that is that it's then as if I never even said it, and I don't have to drag over it or discuss my feelings around it. It was more a comfortable trust exercise.

INTJs can be *very* good as safe deposit boxes, but almost nobody knows it. INFPs get all the credit there, "fluffy bunny" reputation has its good points, e'en though many have said they hate said reputation.

 

[~ReggieRebel~]

My best friend is intp. I've known her all her life and all but two of mine. Although as kids our parents repeatedly gave timeouts bc of logic wars, our relationship has surthrived. These days she is very open with me about her feelings, and if theres one person I will turn to when processing my own, its her. There are bits of her journey that seriously weird me out, ie. my brain struggles and fails to know how to compute or respond. Nevertheless im honored she trusts me enough to share. I love her to death...warts and all. Even when wanting to hold certian revelations at arms lenght.

 

[Pionart]

I don't think a Thinker will form as close bonds as a Feeler, as Thinkers are self-centred. The relationship will be all about themself.

 

[Coriolis]

I don't think a Thinker will form as close bonds as a Feeler, as Thinkers are self-centred. The relationship will be all about themself.

Not necessarily. Thinkers will bond over ideas instead of feelings or experiences. This can be just as close, and is often a necessary precursor to closeness on other levels. Both thinkers and feelers can be self-centered.

 

[Pionart]

Not necessarily. Thinkers will bond over ideas instead of feelings or experiences. This can be just as close, and is often a necessary precursor to closeness on other levels. Both thinkers and feelers can be self-centered.

Thinkers are no more concerned with ideas than Feelers are. Intuitives are more concerned with ideas I would think, though they are no less concerned with feelings or experiences. Maybe introverts are too, I'm not sure.

Self-centred... selfish... ego-centric... whatever, Thinkers are less likely to help others or compromise their own position for another. This is going to lessen the quality of your relationships. This lack of interest in others is essentially the defining feature of a Thinker.

Also, don't take me wrong. I am not saying that someone has all Thinking or all Feeling traits, or even a significant majority either way, or that you can't develop your skills in compassion and consideration towards others, or your skills in discriminating between a worthy cause or frivolous cause, or their ability to not harm themselves in the process.

 

[Coriolis]

Thinkers are no more concerned with ideas than Feelers are. Intuitives are more concerned with ideas I would think, though they are no less concerned with feelings or experiences. Maybe introverts are too, I'm not sure.

You are right, and my comment applies more to NT vs NF, though a parallel comment might be made about ST vs SF. See below for more on the distinction.

Self-centred... selfish... ego-centric... whatever, Thinkers are less likely to help others or compromise their own position for another. This is going to lessen the quality of your relationships. This lack of interest in others is essentially the defining feature of a Thinker.

No, it isn't. The defining criterion is objective vs. subjective judgment. A feeler can be very self-centered, refusing to compromise his/her own subjective values in favor of another person. A thinker, on the other hand, can see the logic in someone else's position or realize that it really does make more sense for him/her to do something that helps another. Self-centeredness is separate from T/F, except that how and when it manifests will be different for each case.

To get back to NT vs NF, this distinction applies to the shared ideas. When I share with NFs, their ideas are filled with values and emotional considerations. NT ideas are filled with logical connections, cause/effect, and more objective considerations. I think of the second as "ideas" and the first as "feeling", partly because that's how some of my NF friends describe our interactions, but "idea" could include all of it, with the distinctions mentioned.

An example:

An ESFJ values good relationships and wants people to like her. When she interacts with others, she essentially "tells them what they want to hear" so they will see her in a positive light. She compliments them, even if it isn't sincere. She makes promises, but later does not keep them if it is inconvenient, always having a "good excuse", of course, even if it isn't true.

An ISTJ is quiet, not too sociable, and occasionally just blurts out "the wrong thing" because it is true. He recognizes all this and has learned to hold his tongue at times. He always considers how his actions will impact others (cause/effect analysis). When he makes a promise, he has thought it through enough to know he can keep it, and he does.

Which of these will have "better quality" relationships?

(BTW, these are real people I have known.)

 

[ceecee]

Self-centred... selfish... ego-centric... whatever, Thinkers are less likely to help others or compromise their own position for another. This is going to lessen the quality of your relationships. This lack of interest in others is essentially the defining feature of a Thinker.

This is so wrong it's funny.

Also, don't take me wrong. I am not saying that someone has all Thinking or all Feeling traits, or even a significant majority either way, or that you can't develop your skills in compassion and consideration towards others, or your skills in discriminating between a worthy cause or frivolous cause, or their ability to not harm themselves in the process.

Um, you did just say that up above.

 

[Xander]

Dear God, thinking and feeling people can form close relationships. Of course they can. ANY TYPE CAN.

Jesus people, you're human beings not a random set of letters.

Quit trying to find a plan where only a pattern exists.