[MBTI General] INTJ: How do others see you? (ISFJ mom's opinion of me)

[EsoteriEccentri]

hmmm.
"still waters run deep" is the quote Jung used to describe introverted feeling.
INFP feelings are not fleeting (just have to say it).

I agree here.
Definitely not fleeting. ^^
I think its because only the lesser feelings, or things she does not feel so deeply, are the only ones obvious or at least detectable to you. If that makes any sense?

 

[FallsPioneer]

Handful of things people have said:

-nice
-smart. Oh wow. T_T
-"I can't tell if you're shy or not. It's confusing."
-opinionated
-"you think too much." I scored a classic INT trait! =D
-critical
-caring
-helpful
-obsessive
-stubborn
-moody
-"difficult." "you always have an answer to everything."
-bold/crazy
-anxious
-"you...like jokes and laughing."
-serious
-not self conscious
-"think everything is a conflict"

EDIT: I've also gotten "You think too damn much."

"It's like you don't even know I'm here." (I felt horrible after this one.)

"He seems to have a problem concentrating in class. Often when I look at him I can tell that, mentally, he is a million miles away." (I'm getting better at these hardcore intuition daydreaming sprees though.)

"unique"

"really sarcastic" (toned that down)

"intimidating"

 

[Windigo]

"She thinks my soul is superficial. She actually said that. I'm not offended but I do wonder how much of this is her ISFJ not-able-to-seeness."



That's strange . . . I have an ISFJ daughter and I have to bite my tongue not to call her shallow/superficial all the time! If it doesn't revolve around the latest boy she thinks is cute then, well she's simply not interested.

To be fair she's 17 and beginning to realize there's more to the world than her feelings and desire to be loved. It's awfully hard for her in a family with an INTJ mom, ISTP dad and ENTP sister. She thinks we're all weird.

 

[tinkerbell]

I am so baffled. Different does not mean "less than" or "greater than" it simply means different.

Gees... womens ability to not understand NT women is absolutely phenominal.

Your bro is more feely... and you are more thinky... that doens't make him deep and you shallow, but your mum sounds like she is useing MBTI without using MBTI... she is describing what she sees, you think... but thinkign can be increadibly deep.... Not everything is emotional.

As a female, your mum is tryign to judge you by her values.......

I had a sister in law trying to understand my NT and NF nephews by S values... there was a weird conversation... I had to explain to her the difference between intuative and sensory...

Stick with yourself - you are a fine person, don't let you mum skew your perception of yourself.

The bottom line is how do you see yourself - because that is the question you need to answer

 

[Windigo]

Stick with yourself - you are a fine person, don't let you mum skew your perception of yourself.

The bottom line is how do you see yourself - because that is the question you need to answer

A very good point Tink! ; )

 

[fatuous_tuba]

I get a kick out of defying my parents. I used to make my ISTJ father furious by asking why and challenging his reasoning on everything.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think my cousin is INTJ (He's soooo quiet it's hard to say. I get a Te & intuitive vibe from him though). As a child he was very lovable and talkative (I've heard this of many INTJs....is this common?) and he became much more withdrawn with age. He's always been sharp and technologically creative. My aunt says that he hangs out with an artsy group and likes abstract stuff.

My SF family members just do not understand or like the poor kid. They've called him "cold, creepy, a jerk", etc. He's a quiet, smart, emotionally inexpressive teenager with an odd humor (often insults people unintentionally - or maybe not), and to them he "has no personality, is ungrateful, and rude". They roll their eyes at his academic achievement and call him pretentious and nerdy. These are the same people who go around proclaiming me and my INTP uncle as brilliant because of our N style of smarts.

My cousin can be all of those negative things they see him as, but I find them unwilling to see his positive qualities and to recognize that people have very different personalities and that doesn't mean there is anything "wrong" with them. When I was an adolescent and more withdrawn, I was accused of being cold (that's right, me, an NF). Now I'm sometimes told I am too dark, too deep, too idealistic....so I try and defend my cousin because I know what it's like to be misunderstood and judged unfairly by these family members. He's really a good kid for the most part. The SFs in my family just have a hard time grasping "different" personalities. I give them credit that they will really try when it comes to family and people they care about. I know they are trying in their own way to find something to like about my cousin.

 

[theadoor]

Usually I find INTJs attractive as friends and I think it's because I see them interesting and mysterious. They're the kind of people which I can't read. I mean I can see why are they doing this or that, but I can never see what are they actually thinking or feeling at the moment. I see them confident maybe a bit arrogant, but quiet and in a way shy. They're usually smart, but also pretty stubborn and they're good at making strong arguments (which usually pisses my self-confidence off ). What's also nice, they usually have a good taste and I'm almost melting when I meet an NT person with good looks

Anyway, I find INTJ extremely attractive also as more than just friends, because the J part could push me to get things finally done. And actually, for me it really sucks that you're so f*ckin awesome and are one of the most appreciated type, cause there's a big competition for you guys and I feel that you are not that much into me than I'm into you.

And I'll give you an advice- don't listen to your mum! You guys are really awesome!

 

[Spamtar]

Cranky, quirky, funny, sharp and quiet efficient at what they do.

 

[SubjectA]

From my experience, people see INTJ's as very mysterious and hard to get to know.

I won't argue with that.

 

[Windigo]

I think my cousin is INTJ (He's soooo quiet it's hard to say. I get a Te & intuitive vibe from him though). As a child he was very lovable and talkative (I've heard this of many INTJs....is this common?) and he became much more withdrawn with age. He's always been sharp and technologically creative. My aunt says that he hangs out with an artsy group and likes abstract stuff.

That sounds a lot like me. When I was a child I was always talking to anyone who would listen to my many wonderful insights about the world, but I could be alone a lot as well. I think adults indulge you by thinking it's cute, but as you get older they just don't get it. In high school I always hung out with artsy/abstract people and was surprised the first time someone said, "Hey, you're really funny!" I think I was a sophomore in High School.



I think your cousin withdrew because he was tired of all the judgement. A lot of times INTJs don't mean to be jerks, it's just that we don't usually get offended and we're always surprised when a family member (Usually a SF) asks us increduously, "Does ANYONE really find what you talk about even remotely interesting?" Or a co-worker says, "Geez! This is the break room! Give it a rest!" (Even though you weren't talking to them). We're just awfully bad at small talk it seems like a waste of time!

I have an ESFP friend who is really concerned about her 5 year old's lack of interest in friends . . . he just doesn't need them and that's okay. She doesn't understand it--at all! She's always been the life of the party. I told her to stop forcing him into extroverted situations and let him follow his dreams and more than anything let him know it's okay to be him!!!

I have been tempted to withdraw many times in my life, but thankfully I can't go more than 6 months before all those darn (sweet and adorable) NFs start calling me and dragging me out for coffee/hiking etc.

I've reached a point in my life where I am tired of judging and being judged!

I'm so glad your cousin has you!

 

[Kra]

And actually, for me it really sucks that you're so f*ckin awesome and are one of the most appreciated type, cause there's a big competition for you guys and I feel that you are not that much into me than I'm into you.

I find that the irony is that most are attracted by our withdrawn, mysterious nature, yet that's the first thing they get frustrated with when they finally get us.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Doesn't pay attention to social dynamics or rules , deficit of warmth, has everything planned out even when it is not "visible" , impossible to completly figure out (words of my parents), self confidant, dangerous for people's belifs, convictions and plans , always sober , intelligent, scary (mostly to women), too abstract ,.... (and stuff like that)

 

[paperoceans]

I've been told that I remind people of a long forgotten Pagan Goddess of beauty.

 

[veins]

I've been told that I remind people of a long forgotten Pagan Goddess of beauty.

Were they hitting on you?

 

[Litvyak]

I've been told that I'm arrogant. It's really pissing me off. All that effort I'm trying to take to behave "nice", and still nothing? Maybe I shouldn't give a fuck about it, and then they'll know what arrogant is. Won't be a pleasant experience though.

I'm always trying to be polite and respectful, even if I think certain people do not deserve it. It's just not the "please let me lick your feet" - kind of politeness, which I despise. I even try to smile if possible, not trying to invade the personal 'aura' of anybody while still keeping contact, isn't that the basic rule for social interactions? That makes me aloof at best, but why is that impolite or arrogant? Heck, I'm very direct and teasing with my friends.

I've noticed that I walk straight and with my head held relatively high, but that's just what is convenient for me. I've heard it was "majestic" as a positive note, and "prideful" as a negative one. I'm not trying to be either, really, and I don't understand why this would be a sign of arrogance. What arrogance, what the fuck? Should I crawl? Does that makes me friendly and humble? I always say "thanks" even if there is nothing to be thankful for, and I always greet people from afar if I spoke with them once or twice, while they usually don't give two shits about me and don't even take the trouble to say "hello" if we're only acquainted. Still, they are the "nice" people, how come it's always me who's the "arrogant bastard"?

[/rant]

 

[Kra]

I've noticed that I walk straight and with my head held relatively high, but that's just what is convenient for me. I've heard it was "majestic" as a positive note, and "prideful" as a negative one. I'm not trying to be either, really, and I don't understand why this would be a sign of arrogance. What arrogance, what the fuck? Should I crawl? Does that makes me friendly and humble? I always say "thanks" even if there is nothing to be thankful for, and I always greet people from afar if I spoke with them once or twice, while they usually don't give two shits about me and don't even take the trouble to say "hello" if we're only acquainted. Still, they are the "nice" people, how come it's always me who's the "arrogant bastard"?

[/rant]

Is it bad that I view "prideful" as a compliment?

I agree with you, people complaining over you having good posture seems pretty asinine on their part. In any case, you'll have more charisma and less back pain by maintaining your "prideful" stature. There really is no positive at all, in health or otherwise, to walking around like Quasimodo.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I find that the irony is that most are attracted by our withdrawn, mysterious nature, yet that's the first thing they get frustrated with when they finally get us.

Yes; its perplexing. They like us for it, yet want us not be. A confusing and occasionally damaging perspective.

 

[Andy]

Were they hitting on you?

I doubt it, most pagan goddess seem to be rather fat.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

My extroverted mother thinks I am in "a mood" when I withdraw from social interaction. She can't understand why I would shrink from things like dancing or boisterous conversations except on purpose to aggravate people and be a "fart". I don't think she or most of my family see social anxiety or introversion as real things, but rather as affectations that one could overcome if one cared to.