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[MBTI General] N v. S

Provoker

Permabanned
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
INTJ
I've gotten to know this certain ESFP and I've come to the conclusion that we're worlds apart. Besides being the complete antithesis of an INTJ, what I find most frustrating is the S factor. Incidentally, I don't speak sensor and this person certainly doesn't speak the language of intuition. In fact, every time I teach her a few new words of intuition (to use a metaphor) she says the most irrelevant sensor thing ever - to the extent that I wonder if there is anything turning in her brain. I was walking on campus with her the other day at night and explaining how the social sciences are quite abstract compared to hard sciences and then she wasn't responding to anything I was saying so I commented on the weather and said "It's really nice out tonight" and she said "wow that was delayed" (because I didn't say it until I finished conveying the concept I was discussing). This was just one incident of many where I finish a long silioquy and she interjects with sensor talk. It's like talking to a 5 year old some times. It seems to me that this person registers nothing in the abstract and simply only responds to things that are concrete and in the moment. Thus, at any given time if I explain something she will not register the big picture nor the essence - she will only register words that trigger concrete things. Keeping in mind that I'm 84% intuitive and 90% thinking (according to several tests) after explaining something she will only register about 15% of it. If I shove in a really concrete and picturesque word that will trigger a thought in her to the exclusion of everything else. On the other hand, she will start on about so and so in the club or some small talk and I immediately zone out (as I don't want to waste my brain listening to meaningless stories when I could be working through problems in my head). Have any of you had similar experiences?
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
Have any of you had similar experiences?
Yes. I would say the most practical & useful thing I've learned from studying personality and relations is that some people are not destined to be comfortable interacting with one another. If you recognize an incompatible person, try to keep your distance.
 

murkrow

Branded with Satan
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
1,635
MBTI Type
INTJ
Eh, I don't have this problem so much.

Not with Se anyway, Si is boring though.
 

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I have a sensor friend that talks about nothing else besides her job and her dogs. She is lovely tho and even tho I do get bored she has other qualities (besides the fact that we have a long history of friendship since childhood) that keep me engaged in the relationship. If this person is only a casual friend and she really bores you. Stop hanging around her. She will begin to sense you find her childish and boring and that could possibly lead to her having hurt feelings so stop while you're ahead and ease off the friendship. Find someone who you can talk to and you won't have to talk about.
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
Like you, I have a hard time understanding things as they truly are, minus the pretensions we enable ourselves with as an excuse for elevated ignorance.

iNtuitives always seem so shallow to me...
 

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Like you, I have a hard time understanding things as they truly are, minus the pretensions we enable ourselves with as an excuse for elevated ignorance.

iNtuitives always seem so shallow to me...

hahahahaha :hug:
Good for you.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Provoker, I can relate to how your friend feels. Sometimes when people talk to me, it's like "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah tires blah blah blah blah blah blah raincoat blah blah blah blah blah blah blah steak."

And I'm like "All I got was tires, raincoat, steak."

Depending on my self-esteem at the time, I've usually come to one of two conclusions.

1. I'm a dumbass.
2. I'm good at pinpointing the actual important stuff in a rambling mess of words.
 

rhinosaur

Just a statistic
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,464
MBTI Type
INTP
When someone tries to change the topic, it usually implies that they don't care about what you're saying. By interjecting those comments about the weather, she was trying to find something else that you could both talk about.

Also, don't automatically assume a sensor is dumb because they don't want to discuss your silly abstract idea in great depth.
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Okay, being a crazy ENFP who is interested in almost anything, I'm cool with talking about anything - even sensor topics (whatever that means). No problems with the neatest pop music, what actor is banging what actress (although, admittedly, it isn't my favorite subject), how wonderful the flowers smell, or even how awfully the dog farted. I'm even cool with you talking about your favorite porn star or how you'd love to have a nice juicy steak. Or the latest gossip - in small amounts.

However, if you even dare start talking about the weather I will just :angry:.

K?

I warned you.

Anything else is fine, but that "subject" is totally off limits.

(Waiting for some jackass remark about the weather now. <gets axe ready>)
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
I am sitting outside right now and couldn't help but notice the gorgeous weather. Warm and sunny with just a slight breeze. Wonderful isn't it?
 

Provoker

Permabanned
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
INTJ
Also, don't automatically assume a sensor is dumb because they don't want to discuss your silly abstract idea in great depth.

I never assumed she's dumb and please don't assume my abstract idea is silly (there's no need for ad homs here). It can be inferred from my post that I think she is not an abstract thinker and filters abstract concepts out when she takes in information but I do think she's smart in other ways. And she is a very sweet person, despite everything I've stated thus far I seem to click with her on some weird level.
 

Sunshine

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
1,040
MBTI Type
ABCD
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I am sitting outside right now and couldn't help but notice the gorgeous weather. Warm and sunny with just a slight breeze. Wonderful isn't it?

hahahahahahaha.

And you are welcome, I felt like being extra bright today. Yesterday I was feeling introverted so I hid behind some clouds for some alone time.
 

alicia91

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
671
As a sensor, I can tell you that sometimes timing is everything. I will gladly talk about deeper and/or more abstract things but I'd probably not want to do it while walking on campus! That kind of conversation has it's place, but not while walking on a beautiful day. I'd be happy to talk about it at a relevant time (right after class - during class?) or if I was sitting in a quiet place and we were reflecting on that class or the subject. Or you could say "Alicia, I've really been wanting to talk to you about XXX."

Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!
 

murkrow

Branded with Satan
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
1,635
MBTI Type
INTJ
As a sensor, I can tell you that sometimes timing is everything. I will gladly talk about deeper and/or more abstract things but I'd probably not want to do it while walking on campus! That kind of conversation has it's place, but not while walking on a beautiful day. I'd be happy to talk about it at a relevant time (right after class - during class?) or if I was sitting in a quiet place and we were reflecting on that class or the subject. Or you could say "Alicia, I've really been wanting to talk to you about XXX."

Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!

I was attracted to ISTPs until I read this post.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Yeah, with ISTJs!

The ISTJ obsessive focus on perfection annoys the cr@p out of me. But ISTJs also tend to bring the best out of me when I work with them because they keep pushing me to do better.:D

I was attracted to ISTPs until I read this post.

ISTPs can be really annoying. That "SP Rage" drives me up the wall. Sorry, alicia! That's every ISTP except you, but including my roommate.

Woohoo! I'm 300 posts old.:party:
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!

:rofl1: I just find this so funny because I would bring up the same topic in the same random place and time. I think it might be that Ns have fewer defined distinctions between time, place, and topic. If an idea is interesting and it occurs to us to discuss the idea, we're probably more likely to launch into the subject whenever and whereever if we're with someone with whom we enjoy sharing ideas.

What I find interesting is that you have such distinctions. That there seems to be a specific time and place for particular topics. Is it because you need to be in a certain mindset to want to discuss such things? Or is it because you would rather focus on the present than be distracted with discussion?
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Whether I'm an N or an S, I think you need to figure when it's time to start talking about a certain subject and when to lay off.

Yesterday I was at a going away party/happy hour with one of my coworkers who's going to school in NYC. Topic turned to 9/11 and after awhile I noticed the person who we were there for started to get quiet and withdrawn I asked her what was wrong and she said oh nothing, but I think the turn of conversation was depressing. Not think, it was and I changed the subject and she perked up again.

I find most people are willing to engage in "abstract" or "deeper" topics when they feel comfortable with you or when they're gathered specifically to discuss that kind of stuff. Those subjects tend to expose people deep held beliefs, thoughts, or feelings and most people don't want those exposed right off that bat. Especially when the person doing the prying seems like they want to argue or debate you about it. Why try to force a conversation out of someone if they don't want to talk about it? Do you at least try to warm them up into talking about it or you go straight for the jugular? I think you'd get the level of conversation you find satisfying if you tried to engage in discussion instead of debate and picking someone's beliefs apart. It puts people on the defensive and that ends up going nowhere.
 
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