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[INTJ] WIll COnfronting Someone Make an INTJ Feel Better?

Noitartst

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2008
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm an 29-year-old INTJ, and two years ago, I was basically a basket case, screaming in the woods, and feeling psychosomatic chills in summertime. I was crazy, and not I'm not, but I seem to have lost my drive, which for an INTJ is unheard of.

I used to think faster than I wrote, my mind overflowing with ideas, like an INTJ ought, but now my mind churns up its own sludge repeatedly, rather than generating anything new.

I'm still unemployed, but at least I'm not crazy. I can't really enjoy anything, though, like I could when I was crazy, however. Exhausted, I still felt more enthusiasm now.

I wonder if confronting people I was mad at in the past would make me feel better. Then I was crazy, now I'm not, but I still think I'm right. That, or forgive, which would, I suppose, be ideal, but I'm not sure that I should, just as I'm not sure it would help just now. At any rate, I think arguing in itself would give me mental energy. Feeling a little mad now 'n then is better than total drifting.

What say you all?
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
677
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
You can edit the title to correct it. And you can delete the 2nd post pointing out the problem. ;)
I am not J, so this may not be on point, but I have found that, if something sufficiently bugs me, I will be in a rut until I confront it. It will get turned over and and over and given outrageously inappropriate amounts of analysis until then. This uses up so much energy and mindspace that other things get neglected. Strengths atrophy. Only after facing the beast(s) will I be able to move on.
 

DigitalMethod

Content. Content?
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
970
MBTI Type
INTJ
Your past craziness sounds like me when I get extremely stressed/depressed.

I wanted to say though that if your still in that frame of mind, and you argue with issues in your past or persons in your past. You will make it even worse. After the argument you will probably over analyze it to an insane degree. And thus drive yourself more crazy and obsessed.

If you are in the right frame of mind though. And approach your past issues or past persons with a calm mind and peaceful heart. Wanting only to solve the problem and making sure they understand that as well. Then the chance that all will fail will be less.
 

Noitartst

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2008
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INTJ
You can edit the title to correct it. And you can delete the 2nd post pointing out the problem. ;)

Thanks, but I think I'll leave it.

I am not J, so this may not be on point, but I have found that, if something sufficiently bugs me, I will be in a rut until I confront it. It will get turned over and and over and given outrageously inappropriate amounts of analysis until then. This uses up so much energy and mindspace that other things get neglected. Strengths atrophy. Only after facing the beast(s) will I be able to move on.

I agree. I tried to, by my solution unwaveringly involved witness to my judgment, but they kept resisting because of my obvious anger, which only got me more frustrated. Now, I'm not angry, but I don't know that this is a matter of personal honor, but I think that it is. I haven't had anyone support it, but now, I feel calmer, but my drive ain't there, which is why I want to do this.
 

Noitartst

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2008
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INTJ
Your past craziness sounds like me when I get extremely stressed/depressed.

Yeah, but my mind's not roaring, and I want it back. RIght now, I'm feeling adrift, and I want a spark.

I wanted to say though that if your still in that frame of mind, and you argue with issues in your past or persons in your past. You will make it even worse. After the argument you will probably over analyze it to an insane degree. And thus drive yourself more crazy and obsessed.

If you are in the right frame of mind though. And approach your past issues or past persons with a calm mind and peaceful heart. Wanting only to solve the problem and making sure they understand that as well. Then the chance that all will fail will be less.

I'm calm, at least, and as for my heart, only save when I get surprised, and I feel twinge of fear, which is out character for me historically. As for me, I'm too laid back, and not in the least driven, which is a problem.
 

Frank

New member
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
689
I border on the i/e so this may be of some use. In the past when I was in an extremely stressful and anxiety inducing environment I found that working out, and I mean pushing your physical limits, worked wonders for me. An intense workout followed by thirty minutes or so of laying under a tree, or whatever relaxes you, was exactly what kept my sanity. Also it will help to increase your mental energy.

As far as the past, fuck it, let it go, do not allow anyone that much control over your mental state. Just determine to never allow yourself to be in that position again whatever it was.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
Your past craziness sounds like me when I get extremely stressed/depressed.

I wanted to say though that if your still in that frame of mind, and you argue with issues in your past or persons in your past. You will make it even worse. After the argument you will probably over analyze it to an insane degree. And thus drive yourself more crazy and obsessed.

If you are in the right frame of mind though. And approach your past issues or past persons with a calm mind and peaceful heart. Wanting only to solve the problem and making sure they understand that as well. Then the chance that all will fail will be less.

Bingo here. And yes, sometimes an INTJ needs to fall to realize that it sucks to fall as an INTJ, and gets up. After I went through a serious depression/thinking I was flawed stage, I ended up being a much better person in the end then I was before going in. Just find your focus.
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Maybe finding a hobby or something active to take yourself out of yourself will help. I think sometimes people need vacations away from themselves in order to get some perspective and drive back. I find, odd as it is, manual labour of some sort a decent device for putting my brain away for a while.
 

Enyo

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
443
MBTI Type
xNTJ
Maybe finding a hobby or something active to take yourself out of yourself will help. I think sometimes people need vacations away from themselves in order to get some perspective and drive back. I find, odd as it is, manual labour of some sort a decent device for putting my brain away for a while.

I have a hard time "getting away from myself". The only thing I've found is something mindless like spider solitaire, and all that does is just cover when I'm depressed. (Not thinking, not feeling... which sucks anyway, because I don't really understand feelings... but just exisiting = spider solitaire.)

Maybe I should just keep trying stuff to find that escape?
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I have a hard time "getting away from myself". The only thing I've found is something mindless like spider solitaire, and all that does is just cover when I'm depressed. (Not thinking, not feeling... which sucks anyway, because I don't really understand feelings... but just exisiting = spider solitaire.)

Maybe I should just keep trying stuff to find that escape?

Yes. Though I think it might be more effective to find something that is in some way productive. Do you have anything you like to do where you end up creating something?

The goal is to pour your focus into doing something that is productive or creative until you get to the point where you are no longer thinking about anything other than what you are working on. Of course I realise that a physical product is not always the result, meditating and reading seem to have similar restorative effects.

The reason why I say productive or creative is it seems most activities that have either of those as a result end up causing people to feel, in some manner, fulfilled mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know that escape is easily obtained with playing games, but it's not the same result...eventually you start, as you described, realising it's just a cover... I guess it's similar to eating junk food instead of a warm home-cooked meal when you're hungry: The first tastes good but doesn't leave you feeling too satisfied. The second, however, tastes good and leaves you feeling satisfied.


Edit: I also realise I'm dancing around the subject a little bit. It's a concept I'm having a little trouble explaining at the moment.
 

Enyo

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
443
MBTI Type
xNTJ
Yes. Though I think it might be more effective to find something that is in some way productive. Do you have anything you like to do where you end up creating something?

The goal is to pour your focus into doing something that is productive or creative until you get to the point where you are no longer thinking about anything other than what you are working on. Of course I realise that a physical product is not always the result, meditating and reading seem to have similar restorative effects.

The reason why I say productive or creative is it seems most activities that have either of those as a result end up causing people to feel, in some manner, fulfilled mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know that escape is easily obtained with playing games, but it's not the same result...eventually you start, as you described, realising it's just a cover... I guess it's similar to eating junk food instead of a warm home-cooked meal when you're hungry: The first tastes good but doesn't leave you feeling too satisfied. The second, however, tastes good and leaves you feeling satisfied.


Edit: I also realise I'm dancing around the subject a little bit. It's a concept I'm having a little trouble explaining at the moment.

I used to scrapbook. Then I created a page that was perfection, and haven't done it since. I used to write fiction, but got a nasty case of writer's block about 8 years ago. I read. I research just for the sake of gathering knowledge.

Currently, I do a lot with genealogy, which I've done on and off for the last 3 years. Sometimes I look at the names in my family history and wonder how much of my personality is inherited from them. Really, scrapbooking the family history is just and extension of that.
 
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