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[ENTP] ENTP: To hug or hit?

simulatedworld

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The original post that bears repeating:


This post was then followed by a cadre of silly and semi-informative posts that covered things like "golly heck fires" and "sexual abuse" --one of mine included, as well as substitute's >>

So shall I be deliberately obtuse and interpret ^this literally as well? (I'd rather not.)


Or, how about ^this show-stopper?

Given that your asinine replies are just Ra-ra-ra'ing substitute's complaint about a tongue-in-cheek post (Did the hokey pictures not give it away guys? Were you wounded in the verbal volley?) several months old; all I can conclude is you got the excuse for the rant you clearly wanted by lumping truth with comedy, individuals with groups, and let the angerball fly.

Not ranting you say?

Everyone rants, just fess up instead of winding up. At least you weren't lambasting whole groups of people based on your negative experiences with a few...

oopstherecomesasmile.jpg


You guys are hilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarious on the whole.

Umm...I can't recall ever saying that I was above ranting, or that I wasn't ranting here. What's your point?

I haven't even seen this thread you're referring to, and I don't have a clue what half of your post is about. What ridiculous assumptions are you making this time? Now suddenly I was "wounded in the verbal volley"? I don't even know what supposedly super-offensive post from months ago you're talking about.

It probably goes without saying that you're proving my point, here. You think you can intuit everything you need to know about the actions of others and the emotional motivations for them, and it's so bad that you can't even recognize when you're doing it or make any attempt to stop.

Ranting about how annoying that is? Guilty as charged.
 

Amargith

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:rolli: Would you guys kiss and make up? She might be intuiting your feelings a bit, but you're putting words in her mouth, and intuiting her motivations just as much. Pot-kettle syndrom anyone?
 

Domino

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This thread is a very bad kisser. Too much tongue.
 

substitute

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Nah I've gotta be fair on xNFJ's - they are pretty good at divining people's emotional state. A few caveats though...

1. Most crucially, knowing what someone's emotional state is and knowing what value they give to it are two very different things. My ENFJ sister is very good at knowing how I feel and often does even when I don't and I have to hand it to her, she's been very valuable to me for that reason amongst others, obviously. However, the biggest cause of arguments between us is invariably that she just doesn't accept that it takes a completely different place in my decision making process than it would in hers. IOW, she gives it too much significance when interpreting my behaviour and words.

2. They're best at it face to face, and I think a lot of the non-verbal communication that happens between people is picked up on by them and to quite an extent they rely on it to make their divinations. Which are usually accurate - when face to face. When they try to do the same thing in writing, it all goes horribly wrong quite often. I know my sister as well as another ENFJ friend I know, they both say they have lost faith in email and text formats for communicating with people because they've got into too many rows that way, and they prefer face to face or at least telephone, so they can hear your tones of voice.

3. Intuition is a function that's all about perceiving patterns and filling in the blanks, usually by prior experience with similar patterns. If it's a habit of a person to look for and hone in emotional and non-verbal communication, there's a very real risk IMO, that when those parts of the communication are not present, they're going to start filling in blanks. While this can be fine when it comes to letters from people you know well, when it comes to strangers on the net, it can be disastrous.

4. Having said all of which, I'd have to say that ENFJ's are great friends for me when I've learned to keep it face to face and if I have to use text at all, make it very, very friendly - pepper it with non-verbal communication equivalents like smileys and "safe" phrases, to give it a clear emotional content, so they don't start making it up for themselves.

5. INFJ's on the other hand can be trickier because I think the whole I/E thing interferes... introverts can have more time, simply, to give to individual people and sometimes take it amiss that a hyperactive ENTP with a huge social circle just doesn't have time to spend even one, really, let alone two or three whole afternoons with just them every week. And this leads to an ENTP finding themselves thinking of this song when they think of friendships/relationships with INFJ's... and shuddering big shudders!
 

Gamine

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Nah I've gotta be fair on xNFJ's - they are pretty good at divining people's emotional state. A few caveats though...

1. Most crucially, knowing what someone's emotional state is and knowing what value they give to it are two very different things. My ENFJ sister is very good at knowing how I feel and often does even when I don't and I have to hand it to her, she's been very valuable to me for that reason amongst others, obviously. However, the biggest cause of arguments between us is invariably that she just doesn't accept that it takes a completely different place in my decision making process than it would in hers. IOW, she gives it too much significance when interpreting my behaviour and words.

2. They're best at it face to face, and I think a lot of the non-verbal communication that happens between people is picked up on by them and to quite an extent they rely on it to make their divinations. Which are usually accurate - when face to face. When they try to do the same thing in writing, it all goes horribly wrong quite often. I know my sister as well as another ENFJ friend I know, they both say they have lost faith in email and text formats for communicating with people because they've got into too many rows that way, and they prefer face to face or at least telephone, so they can hear your tones of voice.

3. Intuition is a function that's all about perceiving patterns and filling in the blanks, usually by prior experience with similar patterns. If it's a habit of a person to look for and hone in emotional and non-verbal communication, there's a very real risk IMO, that when those parts of the communication are not present, they're going to start filling in blanks. While this can be fine when it comes to letters from people you know well, when it comes to strangers on the net, it can be disastrous.

4. Having said all of which, I'd have to say that ENFJ's are great friends for me when I've learned to keep it face to face and if I have to use text at all, make it very, very friendly - pepper it with non-verbal communication equivalents like smileys and "safe" phrases, to give it a clear emotional content, so they don't start making it up for themselves.

5. INFJ's on the other hand can be trickier because I think the whole I/E thing interferes... introverts can have more time, simply, to give to individual people and sometimes take it amiss that a hyperactive ENTP with a huge social circle just doesn't have time to spend even one, really, let alone two or three whole afternoons with just them every week. And this leads to an ENTP finding themselves thinking of this song when they think of friendships/relationships with INFJ's... and shuddering big shudders!

Thanks for adding to my paranoia/nightmare dreamscape. :cry:
 
O

Oberon

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This thread is a very bad kisser. Too much tongue.

I once didn't explain to a date that, where her tongue and kissing was concerned, "less was more." I would have said something, but couldn't bring myself to mention it.
 

entropie

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I once didn't explain to a date that, where her tongue and kissing was concerned, "less was more." I would have said something, but couldn't bring myself to mention it.

Nah, a gentleman keeps those things in privacy :)
 

simulatedworld

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:rolli: Would you guys kiss and make up? She might be intuiting your feelings a bit, but you're putting words in her mouth, and intuiting her motivations just as much. Pot-kettle syndrom anyone?

No I'm not. I have no idea why she insists on doing this; my only real point was that it's annoying.

And no, kissing and making up is for FPs. Bring on the bloooood!
 

Winds of Thor

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Originally Posted by PinkPiranha
I told a close ENTP friend that I was going to mail him a CD I made for him. He told me to drive it over. All 200 miles of it. I sense a trap. Not that I mind.

Posted by Synarch
It's not really a trap if you put his teeth in your own neck.


Yeah..like..."Your face ran into my baseball"..kinda thing..

Ha!
 

Amargith

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No I'm not. I have no idea why she insists on doing this; my only real point was that it's annoying.

And no, kissing and making up is for FPs. Bring on the bloooood!

Actually, this brings up something that I've been wondering about in ENTPs as well. You guys are indeed sensitive to having your feelings or inner thoughts intuited, and often feel like they've been misunderstood. Which, you know, I'm sure is true. But, ENTPs, I've noticed, do the same, just via a different way. At least, if they're somehow compelled to. You seem to use Ne and Ti, to intuit a range of possibilities of why someone does something, or says something, and conclude their motivations for said action that way. And ime, it's often 50/50 hit chance. 50 percent of the time, you guys are spot on, and the other time..you've taken those observations which might be valid and completely misinterpreted them.

Are you unaware of the fact that you do this?
 

yenom

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Actually, this brings up something that I've been wondering about in ENTPs as well. You guys are indeed sensitive to having your feelings or inner thoughts intuited, and often feel like they've been misunderstood. Which, you know, I'm sure is true. But, ENTPs, I've noticed, do the same, just via a different way. At least, if they're somehow compelled to. You seem to use Ne and Ti, to intuit a range of possibilities of why someone does something, or says something, and conclude their motivations for said action that way. And ime, it's often 50/50 hit chance. 50 percent of the time, you guys are spot on, and the other time..you've taken those observations which might be valid and completely misinterpreted them.

Are you unaware of the fact that you do this?

Thats Ni.

I really have problems of intimacy with the opposite sex. I don't know why. If you want to have a relationshiop with an entp, you really have to be patient.
things can go high and lows and problems can really spin out of conytrol,
especially if their Ps are really streong. I always do reckless things without planning and it scares the crap out of other people.
 

Amargith

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hehe, I'm not trying to date one, just understand them, but thanks :D
 

entropie

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Actually, this brings up something that I've been wondering about in ENTPs as well. You guys are indeed sensitive to having your feelings or inner thoughts intuited, and often feel like they've been misunderstood. Which, you know, I'm sure is true. But, ENTPs, I've noticed, do the same, just via a different way. At least, if they're somehow compelled to. You seem to use Ne and Ti, to intuit a range of possibilities of why someone does something, or says something, and conclude their motivations for said action that way. And ime, it's often 50/50 hit chance. 50 percent of the time, you guys are spot on, and the other time..you've taken those observations which might be valid and completely misinterpreted them.

Are you unaware of the fact that you do this?

No I dont do that. But thats basically cause I dont want to understand people, if not excplicitly asked to do so.

I think the "being sensitive" part is less about being good at understanding others. Its more about being sensitive. But I have no idea how I possibly could explain that to you :D
 

simulatedworld

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Actually, this brings up something that I've been wondering about in ENTPs as well. You guys are indeed sensitive to having your feelings or inner thoughts intuited, and often feel like they've been misunderstood. Which, you know, I'm sure is true. But, ENTPs, I've noticed, do the same, just via a different way. At least, if they're somehow compelled to. You seem to use Ne and Ti, to intuit a range of possibilities of why someone does something, or says something, and conclude their motivations for said action that way. And ime, it's often 50/50 hit chance. 50 percent of the time, you guys are spot on, and the other time..you've taken those observations which might be valid and completely misinterpreted them.

Are you unaware of the fact that you do this?

I think that's more a function of Ni, which most ENTPs aren't particularly good at. (I'm not.) We aren't so much sensitive to criticism of our ideas as we are jumping at the chance to argue about them (it's Ne+Ti looking for a chance to compete mentally/prove our abilities/explore ideas, not Fi getting upset that someone thinks we're wrong...I think this is the most common misconception that F types have when trying to read us.)

I mean, we'll take guesses at things, but more regarding logic-based ideas like the thought process that resulted in a given conclusion. Sometimes we're wrong, but I like to think that if someone takes the time to explain why they used a different logical process to arrive at a conclusion, we're willing to accept it and move on. Or at least, I am...granted there are certain immature ENTPs who consider themselves infallible, but hopefully not all of us are that obnoxious. :)

Personally, I don't really try to guess at emotional motivations for why people are behaving a certain way. I'm just really not that good at nuanced expressions of emotion--reading or showing them. I know that INFJs are much better at this on average than I am, but they still tend to project whatever emotional state would make them exhibit the behavior they're observing in me, and neglect the fact that I might be doing it for completely different reasons.
 
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