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[ENTP] ENTP: To hug or hit?

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
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3,376
MBTI Type
ENTP
So I’ve noticed in some of my interactions with (immature) ENTPs that the nicer I am the more abrasive and shocking they appear to be but once I get a little nasty they respect what I’m saying and are more co-operative, is this the case?

What is the best way to make an ENTP stop and reassess their actions when they are out of line?

ENTP's rarely think they are out of line, lol. Even if they appear that way to other people. Other than that ENTP's can be pretty unpredictable to some degree. It appears this guy respects you more the nastier you get. If you were acting nasty toward me, I'd see it as a personal challenge to take you down a peg somehow. Of course what you mean by "nice" and "nasty" might look to him as "being fake" or "being authentic". What is most likely though is that he is simply bored and doesn't realize that he's annoying you.

The best way to deal with an ENTP you are working with is to befriend him and keep his mind occupied. For example if you gave him an important part of the task you are doing, that would probably draw in interest. If that thing also happens to be so challenging that most other people wouldn't touch it, then the ENTP will eat it up.

On the other hand if you try to manipulate the ENTP in some other way, they will probably catch on to what you are doing, and see it as a reason to get you back in some way. Your best bet is to befriend them. Show you can relax and laugh at their jokes, and also show you value their input and intelligence.
 

runvardh

にゃん
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Yeah, there really is no such thing as out of line, unless he's a Christian and you show it to him in the Bible. (done that a few times...)
 

sciski

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I give my ENTP buddy a withering look and he backs down like a kitten. :D

This is, of course, after I've sighed heavily at his more offensive moments. ENTPs just like getting that reaction from you.
 

Shadowrose

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This is, of course, after I've sighed heavily at his more offensive moments. ENTPs just like getting that reaction from you.

I'm not sure it's -that- reaction, so much as -a- reaction. That one just tends to be easiest to get..
 

Jack Flak

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Catch-22. You have to be just as smart as they are, yet insist they are the smartest person ever. Never touch the ENTP.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
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I can help you out here a little bit.
Here are two things that ENTP's like.

a.) Being liked by others
b.) Being outrageous and shocking

If you are being nice to them when they are acting all outrageous and shocking- that makes the ENTP the happiest.. he or she is acting the way he or she desires AND you like him or her.

However, if you become nasty and start rejecting his or her ENTP-ish tendencies.. he or she (as long as you aren't too mean) will still want you as a someone who likes him or her and will become nicer and more cooperative- instead of Ne running the show.. Fe will start taking over. However, act like a real dick towards the ENTP, and he or she won't give a damn about being 'nice' and 'cooperative' with you and will either become more annoying/obnoxious or ignore you.

I will do this myself.

Yup, point a can be worked with. So without being fake I should keep ego in mind.

I don't think it's in me to act like an asshat but I know things don't get past an ENTP often, they can pick up on things others miss so the wrong comment in jest can hurt, I feel as though I have to pick my words carefully as it's all a game.

ENTP's rarely think they are out of line, lol. Even if they appear that way to other people. Other than that ENTP's can be pretty unpredictable to some degree. It appears this guy respects you more the nastier you get. If you were acting nasty toward me, I'd see it as a personal challenge to take you down a peg somehow. Of course what you mean by "nice" and "nasty" might look to him as "being fake" or "being authentic". What is most likely though is that he is simply bored and doesn't realize that he's annoying you.

The best way to deal with an ENTP you are working with is to befriend him and keep his mind occupied. For example if you gave him an important part of the task you are doing, that would probably draw in interest. If that thing also happens to be so challenging that most other people wouldn't touch it, then the ENTP will eat it up.

On the other hand if you try to manipulate the ENTP in some other way, they will probably catch on to what you are doing, and see it as a reason to get you back in some way. Your best bet is to befriend them. Show you can relax and laugh at their jokes, and also show you value their input and intelligence.

Ain't that the truth!

So the words nice and nasty are not as extreme as they might sound, I hate conflict so what I mean is calling them on their shyte, being blunt and on the offense but never rude or dismissive. Even if respect is not there I understand showing a lack of respect will cause problems.

What I mean by manipulation is resolve conflict so I get the result I want and keep their emotions and ego in check. Not walking all over them.

Catch-22. You have to be just as smart as they are, yet insist they are the smartest person ever. Never touch the ENTP.

Will not touch.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
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Ain't that the truth!

So the words nice and nasty are not as extreme as they might sound, I hate conflict so what I mean is calling them on their shyte, being blunt and on the offense but never rude or dismissive. Even if respect is not there I understand showing a lack of respect will cause problems.

What I mean by manipulation is resolve conflict so I get the result I want and keep their emotions and ego in check. Not walking all over them.

Yeah, you have the right idea. :yes: Being blunt probably works, because they may not realize that you are annoyed otherwise. It's just a tool to get their attention. It may not be that they like being treated rudely, it's just that they don't get the hint otherwise. Of course I could be wrong about this particular ENTP. I could easily imagine an ENTP who only respects people who are rude, but I think it's more likely that the behavior he respects isn't seen as rude to him.
 

Mondo

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Taking things too far is pretty big for Ne doms and Ti helps make them not give a shit.

My friends and I make a lot of crude jokes but I'm always the bastard that has to take things too far. It is sort of hypocritical (not really but I like to think it is) to hear my ISTJ friend make a mildly crude joke and then I take the concept and throw it far and then watch him get offended by my humor.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
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All my gropes are gentle :pornstar:
is it can be hugs tiem now plees?

Hmm, I've seen this behaviour before, if I'm too nice for too long you'll say/do something to offend me then I'll be all sorrowful on the inside where you can't see... I'm still a sucker so... as there's no hugs emoticon at the moment I'll give you this and back away.

IOU a gentle grope ~Trin

And remember I'm capable of swiping your Ne v v

Do you think I'm safe Mondo?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Wrap yourself in cellophane before the hugging. Ask me no questions! Just do it.
 

Jae Rae

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979
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Never touch the ENTP.

I didn't know this was a typological preference until you said this.

My former ENTP best friend had an anti-hug bias (hang-up?) and had to work himself up to it at socially appropriate times. Usually he didn't bother. If I ever got a hug, it really meant something.
 

Domino

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I didn't know this was a typological preference until you said this.

My former ENTP best friend had an anti-hug bias (hang-up?) and had to work himself up to it at socially appropriate times. Usually he didn't bother. If I ever got a hug, it really meant something.


This sounds like my INTJ best friend. Didn't like to be touched, but to extremes. Took years of me and Jaye slowly desensitizing him. Occasional arm pats. Then, holding on to the back of his shirt/belt loops in crowds. Then, holding his arm carefully. Then one day, he surprised me out of the blue with a hug, and I (unhelpfully) blurted in surprise, "Are you dying?!.... Am *I* dying?! Who's dying?!" lol
 

Shadowrose

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I didn't know this was a typological preference until you said this.

My former ENTP best friend had an anti-hug bias (hang-up?) and had to work himself up to it at socially appropriate times. Usually he didn't bother. If I ever got a hug, it really meant something.

That's interesting, actually. I'm kind of the exact opposite of that, with a caveat or two. I only touch people I like and respect. Period. If I don't like a person, I will go out of my way not to touch them. However, those that're close to me, I'm basically constantly touching. I've been rather offputting before because of it, in fact.

Then again, I also like biting people.
 
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