• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] INTJ - question about promiscuity and gayness

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
Hi

I have been dating someone new, I think he is an INTJ, and has a fairly high flying job so is fairly time poor. He is very keen to seal the deal, I've yet to meet a man who didn't want to jump on my bones at the first opportunity but this guy is pressure.

I made it clear it wasn't going to be an instant thing and he got all huffy.... and dissapeared, only to turn up in New York for work... like he must have known that was on the cards and didn't tell me.

Anyways, a week before he gets back I get the message from him saying he had a same sex experience, he is in his late 30s so in my head its a much bigger deal than just a one night stand. Anyway he also claimed the guy in question was also having his first same sex experience, the odds of mature men suddenly getting it on independently must be quite slim? I wonder if this might be a ruse to try and get me into the sack quicker than I feel comfortable with.

I'm an NT type, and I know most NTs I've met find the whole casual sex thing quite off putting, I've typed him, so I may be wrong, but would an INTJ have a gay experience if left to his own devices as a mature person.

any thoughts... let me know

Thanks

Lx
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
not type related?

also, especially if it was his and the other guy's first same-sex sexual experience, he might not have classified it as 'casual sex'. sounds pretty significant to me.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
type in as much as NT typically in my experience don't sleep around. I can't figure out if it happened or its a ruse, I think if you look a likelihood of two adult men suddenly getting it on isn't a normal meeting. They were sharing accommodation...

I don't know. I don't know any gay INTJ's to my view, I know a questionable ENTP and I think he fits the non promiscuous path except perhaps when hammered.

- - - Updated - - -

PS thanks for your reply
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
He doesn't seem very interested in a serious relationship with you.

Possibly because he realized he is into guys (though he could also be bisexual).

I believe that, hadn't he liked the experience, he would have wanted to make it as secret as possible.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
does sleeping with another guy once really mean that he's the promiscuous type though? there are a fair amount of dudes in that age range who get curious and want to experiment.

i don't think something like this would affect his type, but it might affect your perception of him since you're dating him which is why you're questioning it.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
I don't think there are many men who level it till they are pushing 40 to experiment. I totally agree if he had the experience he would want to keep quite about it unless it was a rues to lower my reluctance to sleep with him... the whole save me from turning gay... which any woman would tell you is likely to have the exact opposite result. which it had.

I think the bottom line is if he were genuinely into me, I wouldn't be cutting through this crap... I hate london men, they are so tricky... Scots men are so much simpler, the bash you over their head and drag you back to their caves...
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
i know I've yet to meet a London man who wasn't very tricky to begin with, it is possible I've rubbish selection behaviour.

To be honest I thought he had lost interested he was in the US, and then I get this message, about a week before he is back.... so hmmm
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
i know I've yet to meet a London man who wasn't very tricky to begin with, it is possible I've rubbish selection behaviour.

To be honest I thought he had lost interested he was in the US, and then I get this message, about a week before he is back.... so hmmm
Get a woman friend of yours to pick a guy for you. Or, better yet, a gay friend.
 

Chthonic

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2014
Messages
683
Hi

I have been dating someone new, I think he is an INTJ, and has a fairly high flying job so is fairly time poor. He is very keen to seal the deal, I've yet to meet a man who didn't want to jump on my bones at the first opportunity but this guy is pressure.

I made it clear it wasn't going to be an instant thing and he got all huffy.... and dissapeared, only to turn up in New York for work... like he must have known that was on the cards and didn't tell me.

Anyways, a week before he gets back I get the message from him saying he had a same sex experience, he is in his late 30s so in my head its a much bigger deal than just a one night stand. Anyway he also claimed the guy in question was also having his first same sex experience, the odds of mature men suddenly getting it on independently must be quite slim? I wonder if this might be a ruse to try and get me into the sack quicker than I feel comfortable with.

I'm an NT type, and I know most NTs I've met find the whole casual sex thing quite off putting, I've typed him, so I may be wrong, but would an INTJ have a gay experience if left to his own devices as a mature person.

any thoughts... let me know

Thanks

Lx

Forget the whole gay thing for a moment. This is a guy who's pressured you for sex and now you suspect he's playing a ruse to put more pressure on you. Is this a guy you want to be with? What kind of twat tries to get a women into bed by professing to be on the fence about his sexuality? Weird.

My last partner was bisexual probably leaning towards gay. He was still sorting it out and didn't play that card with me at all. It's not type related unless the type you are talking about is 'arse'.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
Hi

thanks for these responses, its kind of caught me at the trying the flog a dead horse, I'm prone to that, I meet so few blokes i'm interested in that sometimes I can't see the wood for the trees. He's not exactly keen, he is horribly time poor because of his work role but still that just means I'm signing up to be a door mat. Anyways high time I cut this guy loose. Thanks for your thoutghts
 
Top