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[NT] really mean things you've said that you sort of regret a little maybe

murkrow

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This one time some chick who worked at a TV studio came to talk to us about reality shows. (I was in high school at the time, an alternative school which had "seminars" every friday where someone would come in and talk for an hour)

She was talking about how she was making this reality show about putting an inner city kid in a rich white kid's home and a rich white kid in an inner city kid's home.

I asked her some questions about why she thought it would be a good idea, wouldnt it just make the black kid bitter and the white kid terribly frightened?

anyway so then she's asking us about our ideas for a reality show and I said:

"How about you have a show where TV execs sit in a room and some high school kid pitches really stupid TV show ideas to them."

In retrospect that look on her face might have been genuine hurt.
 

Tigerlily

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NTJ's have a knack of saying inappropriate things. My husband says things sometimes that make my mouth drop and when I tell him he appears completely oblivious to the hurt he may have caused someone. That being said, I think he and I even each other out well.
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
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This isn't as much something I said as something I did, but if I hadn't admitted to doing it there would have been no hurt involved. One night over a friend's house I was playing around on her computer. We're usually in the family room, where there are both a TV and computer, and if you're not interested in playing video games or watching TV with everyone else and nobody's got the computer, feel free to browse. Well, I did, and I'll never feel like more of a nosy brat. See, I noticed that her boyfriend hadn't signed out of his e-mail. (Whoops.) For some reason, I didn't sign out of his e-mail for him. In fact, my curiosity got the better of me and I actually read some of his e-mails. :( I still feel bad about that, especially because I found e-mails between him and my friend, and an... ahem, scantily-clad picture that my friend had taken of herself for him. :doh:

As if that wasn't bad enough, I actually felt compelled, in some delusional part of my mind, to later ADMIT to snooping his email. Yeah. Where were my brain and sensitivities THAT time? I mean, snooping is one thing, but when you actually find embarrassing things, why tell you ever snooped? I don't know. :doh: I just don't know.

You know what his reaction was? Rather pitiful. "What did you read?" I'm now probably trying to think of a way to sugar-coat what I saw without sounding like I'm lying through my teeth. Because really, this conversation was totally unavoidable, right? "No, really, what did you read?" He said it in a worried and urgent voice, as opposed to an angry or irritated one. To this day, I really can't forget the heartbreaking tone of his voice. Or how dumb and insensitive I probably looked. :(
 

Jgib5328

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A former friend of mine and I got into a fight. I remember a while back she confided into me that she had a problem with cutting her wrists, so I said outright, "I hope you cut your wrists and die." We've never spoken since.

I always say really mean things to my friends, but usually without malice.
 

Mondo

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I'd say it applied to NTJ's more than NTP's.
I can say some mean things but the person has to do something to really annoy me OR be equally mean first. My tertiary Fe gives me a good idea of what is wrong to say and what is right to say.

My INTJ friend back home is a master of saying the wrong things.
He told me of a time in college when he was playing his former friend in Smash Brothers.
His former friend was boasting about how awesome he was at Marth and how my friend couldn't beat his Marth.
They played with 6 stock and my friend still had 5 stock left and owned his Marth.
His former friend was getting pissed off about it.
My friend was telling him that Marth 'had a pet bear named Tiki' and then had to point to the screen and say, "Wow, I owned you severely!" To say, it was things like this that make them former friends. I have no idea what type the other guy is. To be honest, the other guy was a little controlling and unstable (he actually tried to choke my friend.. scary, huh? But my friend is stronger physically than the other guy, so the guy's 'girly grip' (as my friend calls it) would have not done anything.. still pretty scary) so it was for the best they went their separate ways.

He teases me about a lot of stuff too but I never get mad about it and just give him a playfully mean joke right back.
 

murkrow

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This isn't as much something I said as something I did, but if I hadn't admitted to doing it there would have been no hurt involved. One night over a friend's house I was playing around on her computer. We're usually in the family room, where there are both a TV and computer, and if you're not interested in playing video games or watching TV with everyone else and nobody's got the computer, feel free to browse. Well, I did, and I'll never feel like more of a nosy brat. See, I noticed that her boyfriend hadn't signed out of his e-mail. (Whoops.) For some reason, I didn't sign out of his e-mail for him. In fact, my curiosity got the better of me and I actually read some of his e-mails. :( I still feel bad about that, especially because I found e-mails between him and my friend, and an... ahem, scantily-clad picture that my friend had taken of herself for him. :doh:

As if that wasn't bad enough, I actually felt compelled, in some delusional part of my mind, to later ADMIT to snooping his email. Yeah. Where were my brain and sensitivities THAT time? I mean, snooping is one thing, but when you actually find embarrassing things, why tell you ever snooped? I don't know. :doh: I just don't know.

You know what his reaction was? Rather pitiful. "What did you read?" I'm now probably trying to think of a way to sugar-coat what I saw without sounding like I'm lying through my teeth. Because really, this conversation was totally unavoidable, right? "No, really, what did you read?" He said it in a worried and urgent voice, as opposed to an angry or irritated one. To this day, I really can't forget the heartbreaking tone of his voice. Or how dumb and insensitive I probably looked. :(

It's amazing how off the mark that story is :D.

I've said many terribly mean things to people but I think the one I said at the start of this thread is the only one I feel bad about.

It isn't even the meanest thing I've said, maybe it's because in retrospect I realize she was just doing her job.

Some of the harshest things I've said have been to my mother.

Actually now that I think about it they've almost all been to women.
 

Mondo

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A former friend of mine and I got into a fight. I remember a while back she confided into me that she had a problem with cutting her wrists, so I said outright, "I hope you cut your wrists and die." We've never spoken since.

Wow, that's harsh. The fight must have been pretty serious.
 

Tallulah

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I can't really say outright mean things to people. Even if they get childish and I feel like saying something to hurt them, I can't do it, because I'm aware that it would be just me saying something to make them feel bad. More often, if something got to a point where someone said something intentionally hurtful to me, I'd just distance myself from them. I don't need people in my life that are going to go for the jugular every time we have a disagreement.
 

entropie

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I once said to an, I think maybe eSFj that his weirdo knack for photographing me in private situations really beats the shit out of me. Then we battled and I won.

Guess that is one of the many unfavourable things I did in life
 

Firelie

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I try to watch my mouth most of the time, cuz people usually take things I say the wrong way.

There has only been one time where I was deliberately mean...or rather, I wasn't trying to be mean, exactly, but I felt like telling the person exactly what I thought of her. I was in this guild on an MMORPG I used to play and the guild leader and I were kinda friends, but she was one of those extremely negative people and she would go on about how everyone hated her in the game. Everyone in the guild would comfort her and tell her she was likable and that she was just imagining that everyone hated her. I usually said nothing, because I knew exactly why people treated her that way. One day I just got tired of her whining and told her all of my observations about her behavior. She blocked me after that.
 

Tallulah

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I try to watch my mouth most of the time, cuz people usually take things I say the wrong way.

There has only been one time where I was deliberately mean...or rather, I wasn't trying to be mean, exactly, but I felt like telling the person exactly what I thought of her. I was in this guild on an MMORPG I used to play and the guild leader and I were kinda friends, but she was one of those extremely negative people and she would go on about how everyone hated her in the game. Everyone in the guild would comfort her and tell her she was likable and that she was just imagining that everyone hated her. I usually said nothing, because I knew exactly why people treated her that way. One day I just got tired of her whining and told her all of my observations about her behavior. She blocked me after that.

Oh, well, now I have done stuff like that. When there's someone totally annoying and oblivious, and they've made everyone's lives completely miserable, I will finally get to the point where I feel like they really do need to know the truth. I won't say things designed to hurt them, per se ("Could it be that no one likes you because you're an insufferable hag?)--but I will enlighten them as to how their behavior pushes people away, and at that point, I'm not sugarcoating it.
 

Ivy

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I was having a heated discussion with my mom last weekend about a problem she's having with my little sister, who is 15. She was considering taking her out of school which I do not think would be a good idea. I suggested that she do some activities outside of school and my mom said "we've tried that! she was in two church youth groups last year!" I responded with "Well, maybe the lesson here is that you only meet douchebags in church youth groups." She cried. I kind of regret it maybe a little.
 

Firelie

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I responded with "Well, maybe the lesson here is that you only meet douchebags in church youth groups." She cried. I kind of regret it maybe a little.

Is it mean that I lol'd at that?
 

runvardh

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Is it mean that I lol'd at that?

It's not nice to say those things about people, but I've been part of youth groups and you do get a few of those in there. Accuracy isn't always nice...
 

Orangey

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The last mean thing I did happened last year in my internship seminar at the university. This 'class' was only scheduled to meet about six times the entire semester, and attendance was required at each session if we wanted full credit. Anyway, on the day of the third seminar, we were informed that the class was going to be lead by one of the administrators (a really annoying ESFJ woman) because the professor had had an emergency and they didn't want to cancel the session.

After doing all of the required stuff (attendance, signing up for presentations, etc...), this woman started to try and lecture about the reading...and she was just god-awful. All she wanted to do was talk about what she thought about the book, and she would talk down anyone who presented a different opinion. Since I didn't even read the book the whole way through and had already taken care of what I needed to for the class, I decided that I should probably just leave and save myself the general annoyance. I got up and was heading for the door when she spotted me and asked why I was leaving and if I was coming back (she knew us all by name since she was the admin. for the program). I told her I had somewhere else to be (which she knew was a lie because it was almost 10:00 at night) and that I didn't plan on coming back. The look on her face after I answered was enough to indicate that I'd offended her deeply. She's not been friendly since (not that she was ever all that friendly towards me in the first place).

I felt kind of bad at the time, but not enough to make me return to my seat :devil:.
 

LadyJaye

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It's amazing how off the mark that story is :D.

I've said many terribly mean things to people but I think the one I said at the start of this thread is the only one I feel bad about.

It isn't even the meanest thing I've said, maybe it's because in retrospect I realize she was just doing her job.

Some of the harshest things I've said have been to my mother.

Actually now that I think about it they've almost all been to women.

I don't particularly understand why you've asked other people if they've ever had a regret for something they've said, because you don't behave as if being offensive is really that big of a deal. Maybe it isn't to you, but then why bother asking if anyone else has ever felt that way.
 

murkrow

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I don't particularly understand why you've asked other people if they've ever had a regret for something they've said, because you don't behave as if being offensive is really that big of a deal. Maybe it isn't to you, but then why bother asking if anyone else has ever felt that way.

Being offensive and being dishonest and sneaky is not the same thing.
 

Jeximo

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I tend to hold back a lot, sometimes whomever I'm with won't say anything offensive and somehow I come up with the most sarcastic asshole thing to say-- It's not like I even think about it, it just appears instantly. Although, it is VERY fun when what they say is offensive.
 

FallsPioneer

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Funny thing, just recently I called somebody a doormat, and that person fell silent. I mean, the language was too strong and tactless for what I was trying to get across, and I let slip, which I don't normally do...Felt awful.
 
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