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[MBTI General] NT Women Dating Preferences

obzen210

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
11
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?
When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
I'm much more about personality and intelligence than looks but if you're good looking, its a plus. I want someone kind, considerate, and intelligent who shares common interests. As far as looks go, as long as you're not repulsive to look at and you're well-groomed and care about your health you're fine.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I prefer that roles not be gender related and that people do what they do best and are interested in. If the female happens to like the traditional stuff associated with females that's fine. If the male prefers doing the stuff typically associated with females that's also fine.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
Personality and intelligence. I wasn't interested in boys in high school. I didn't start dating until college.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing?
No.

What is your primary method for finding a man?
I don't initiate relationships, I wait for the man to approach me.

I don't really have a method for finding that special someone. I just wait for it to happen.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one
One guy at a time.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
Physically: in reasonably good shape, fit and well-groomed.
Personality: relaxed/low key; good sense of humor; honest and open-minded; willing to try new things, but not averse to some routine/predictability in life; compatible with a relatively introverted/homebody lifestyle

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
They have long outlived any utility they may once have had. People should do what makes sense for themselves as individuals/couples in their given situation.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
I didn't look for boys in HS - far too busy. Had one BF for a while - he was the one who bothered to seek me out. We enjoyed some of the same activities and thus had fun together.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing?
No. Uncomfortable, impractical.

What is your primary method for finding a man?
Go about my business, doing the things I enjoy doing, and remain alert to potentially compatible guys.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
One at a time. The last time, however, I was preparing to end a relationship at the same time as a new guy was catching my attention, so I had the opportunity for some direct comparisons.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Am female ENTP, will answer.

What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

My experience level is such that I haven't come up with any clearly-defined rubric.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I was completely oblivious to them till I read Mars/Venus in college and became horrified by what I am "supposed" to be. I have no desire to fulfill mine and hope to make it through life without becoming a mother.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

Again, no rubric. Sorry.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

I kind of hope they come to me first. I just assume I'm creepy and undesirable and don't make any efforts toward trying. My clothes are artistic and form-fitting; I'm not sure "revealing" is accurate, or not. I'd kind of like to let relationships happen rather than force them, though.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
There's never a pool to choose from, so it's always been one-on-one (which was like, twice in my entire life, so take that with a grain of salt). I'm not as good at focusing on the broad masses, though, so I imagine this would be the rule.
 
W

WhoCares

Guest
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

My aesthetic is androgyny, I like men with fine bone structure, lithe forms and faces that you have to look hard at to decide. I like men with varied interests, spontaneity, naivety and an artistic bent.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

That they are a moronic concept.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

As above.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

No. Flashing cleavage only makes you a target for testosterone laden morons who think their dick is your fantasy. No thanks. I find boyfriends through everyday activities, shopping, bookstores, work related activities.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

Usually one at a time. It's typically someone I've met up with (stalked) a few times. Scared yet? :D
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
Stronger, braver, smarter, taller, solid boundaries, loving parents, morals, high-standards, self-control, higher education, career aspirations...

Not afraid of bugs, ladders, chainsaws, water, wind, fire, height, depth, hurdles, flat tires, laughter, tears, lipstick on the cheek, babies, bibles, the smell of perfume...

Afraid to wear pink, smoke, or do drugs.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I am proud to be old-fashioned in that way and I won't settle. A woman is what I am. If I have to act like the man in the relationship, then we've got a problem. I simply can't feel the respect and attraction to a man that isn't masculine and it's not something I can force.
 

phdenial

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
21
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

Too young to really know what I was doing.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

Smart. Taller than me. I like 'em thick (all over), because I'm no porcelain butterfly. Accomplished. Doesn't mind when I try to destroy them in argument. Can't talk down to me. EVER. Funny. Playful. I like quiet guys more than the outgoing type. Engineers who don't know how hot they are really appeal to me...

I believe another woman responded well to this. I also have made it through my highly fertile period without having any children. And I frequently celebrate this fact whenever I hear how much other women's lives are constrained by offspring. I love kids, but I don't want any. Gender? I feel like I'm my own gender. My triple D bust and nuclear brain power often intimidate and surprise. :)

Yup. When I want to be sexy I show off my curves and rack, but only with form fitting clothes and a pushup. Online suits me best since I don't like flirting even though everyone says I flirt with everyone. I do not. :happy2:

I am a serial monogamist, but not a cereal monogamist. I do paleo.
 

obzen210

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
11
My aesthetic is androgyny, I like men with fine bone structure, lithe forms and faces that you have to look hard at to decide. I like men with varied interests, spontaneity, naivety and an artistic bent.



That they are a moronic concept.



As above.



No. Flashing cleavage only makes you a target for testosterone laden morons who think their dick is your fantasy. No thanks. I find boyfriends through everyday activities, shopping, bookstores, work related activities.



Usually one at a time. It's typically someone I've met up with (stalked) a few times. Scared yet? :D



Am female ENTP, will answer.

What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

My experience level is such that I haven't come up with any clearly-defined rubric.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I was completely oblivious to them till I read Mars/Venus in college and became horrified by what I am "supposed" to be. I have no desire to fulfill mine and hope to make it through life without becoming a mother.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

Again, no rubric. Sorry.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

I kind of hope they come to me first. I just assume I'm creepy and undesirable and don't make any efforts toward trying. My clothes are artistic and form-fitting; I'm not sure "revealing" is accurate, or not. I'd kind of like to let relationships happen rather than force them, though.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
There's never a pool to choose from, so it's always been one-on-one (which was like, twice in my entire life, so take that with a grain of salt). I'm not as good at focusing on the broad masses, though, so I imagine this would be the rule.




What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
Physically: in reasonably good shape, fit and well-groomed.
Personality: relaxed/low key; good sense of humor; honest and open-minded; willing to try new things, but not averse to some routine/predictability in life; compatible with a relatively introverted/homebody lifestyle

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
They have long outlived any utility they may once have had. People should do what makes sense for themselves as individuals/couples in their given situation.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
I didn't look for boys in HS - far too busy. Had one BF for a while - he was the one who bothered to seek me out. We enjoyed some of the same activities and thus had fun together.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing?
No. Uncomfortable, impractical.

What is your primary method for finding a man?
Go about my business, doing the things I enjoy doing, and remain alert to potentially compatible guys.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
One at a time. The last time, however, I was preparing to end a relationship at the same time as a new guy was catching my attention, so I had the opportunity for some direct comparisons.




What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
I'm much more about personality and intelligence than looks but if you're good looking, its a plus. I want someone kind, considerate, and intelligent who shares common interests. As far as looks go, as long as you're not repulsive to look at and you're well-groomed and care about your health you're fine.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I prefer that roles not be gender related and that people do what they do best and are interested in. If the female happens to like the traditional stuff associated with females that's fine. If the male prefers doing the stuff typically associated with females that's also fine.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
Personality and intelligence. I wasn't interested in boys in high school. I didn't start dating until college.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing?
No.

What is your primary method for finding a man?
I don't initiate relationships, I wait for the man to approach me.

I don't really have a method for finding that special someone. I just wait for it to happen.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one
One guy at a time.




Smart. Taller than me. I like 'em thick (all over), because I'm no porcelain butterfly. Accomplished. Doesn't mind when I try to destroy them in argument. Can't talk down to me. EVER. Funny. Playful. I like quiet guys more than the outgoing type. Engineers who don't know how hot they are really appeal to me...

I believe another woman responded well to this. I also have made it through my highly fertile period without having any children. And I frequently celebrate this fact whenever I hear how much other women's lives are constrained by offspring. I love kids, but I don't want any. Gender? I feel like I'm my own gender. My triple D bust and nuclear brain power often intimidate and surprise. :)

Yup. When I want to be sexy I show off my curves and rack, but only with form fitting clothes and a pushup. Online suits me best since I don't like flirting even though everyone says I flirt with everyone. I do not. :happy2:

I am a serial monogamist, but not a cereal monogamist. I do paleo.





Stronger, braver, smarter, taller, solid boundaries, loving parents, morals, high-standards, self-control, higher education, career aspirations...

Not afraid of bugs, ladders, chainsaws, water, wind, fire, height, depth, hurdles, flat tires, laughter, tears, lipstick on the cheek, babies, bibles, the smell of perfume...

Afraid to wear pink, smoke, or do drugs.


I am proud to be old-fashioned in that way and I won't settle. A woman is what I am. If I have to act like the man in the relationship, then we've got a problem. I simply can't feel the respect and attraction to a man that isn't masculine and it's not something I can force.



Thank you to each and every one of you lovely ladies who contributed to this thread. I sincerely appreciate your response. God bless, I hope each and every one of you has a great day!:bye:
 

Galaxy Gazer

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2015
Messages
941
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
As far as physical preferences, I really like guys with intense, large eyes. Long hair is also a big plus. Tattoos are nice. And I like a slim-to-medium build. For personality, the two most important factors are sense of humor and loyalty. It's essential that they are funny and spontaneous (I prefer SP types) and that they're not going to leave me for some ESFx girl.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
I absolutely despise them as much as humanly possible. I don't think there's anything I hate more than traditional gender roles. I like being the strong one, the protector. I want us both to provide, and I want us both to take care of household chores.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
I'm in college now and I have a boyfriend, but I guess I find a guy attractive when he is rebellious, anti-authority, up-to-date on current events, spontaneous, funny, and laid back. I'm not a fan of uptight people. Long hair is the one thing that instantly attracts me on a physical basis. If a guy is wearing a band tee, that usually catches my attention as well.
In high school, I was a hopeless romantic so I went for the classy, mysterious, bearded goth guys. It was a phase that I will never, EVER revisit.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?
I literally just scrolled back to see if you were an INTJ. It doesn't say though :( I don't really wear revealing clothing. I'm not against sexuality or anything, but it's just not really who I am. I'm a tank-top-and-oversized-jacket type of woman. When I like a guy I start by adding him on facebook or somethingand taking an interest in the things that interest him. This is easy considering my "type" typically likes the same things I like.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
I'd like to say I test the waters, but in reality I'm pretty prone to infatuation, so I sort of do both. I tend to go back and forth, putting my energy toward one guy for a few days or weeks and then turn 90% of my attention toward someone else. Of course, I don't do this when I'm in a relationship. That would be shitty. My current boyfriend (ISFP) won against an ENTJ though, because I knew I wanted someone who really cared about me and would put as much effort into the relationship as I would.
 

CitizenErased

Clean Slate
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
552
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
- I think I search more for personality traits than physical ones. When I find a guy interesting, he looks more handsome than before getting to know him. I mean, I could say I like tall, hairy, pale guys with black hair and green eyes, but if they don't interest me as humans/rare specimens, they are "meh" and I'll try to look for someone else.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
- Gah. I'm more "boyish" than many guys I know. I'm not a tomboy, but close. If I could have chosen a gender before being born, I'd have chosen male, and would probably gay, haha I, as a gal, can't understand women at all. I prefer simple, funny and direct approaches. In a more philosophical way, I don't care, we are all humans, there should be no difference. Everyone should be able to do whatever they feel like regardless their gender, as well as other controversial yet stupid divisions.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
- I once found an excerpt of a movie I don't remember, in which a girl was asked what kind of guys she liked, and she responded "I like guys who like me". Given that I'm beyond-extraterrestrial weird, that's a good start. I like smart, creative, funny guys who don't mind spending some minutes in silence doing nothing and let me have my alone-time and aren't depending all the time on what Imay or may not do, independent thinkers.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?
- Revealing? I believe I have some "assets" that can't be hidden no matter what I do. But I don't dress to provoke. T-shirt, baggy pants, shoes, with no laces if possible. I hate all the golden sequins and high heels fashion. A pony tail or not even that. I don't go trying to find anyone. If they cross my way, perfect, if not, I go on with my life.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?
- I first see who "chose" (what an ugly word) me, and then see if we are compatible. I don't date guys I haven't been friends with before because I like knowing them first. For me, "romance" is kind of an effort, so I don't want to waste my energies on someone who is not worth it.
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
**I like when a guy/girl isn't afraid to stand up to me. I usually test this by arguing with them or telling them to do something and if they crumble under the pressure its a no go. My partner must not be easily offended, must be fun to joke around with and converse with. I like when somebody can lead me through my messy life I like to lead but not in my romantic life I like to take the seat on that one. I'm not good at comforting beyond physical affection which makes me feel like a bad girlfriend at times.
***Gender roles hmm idc I'll do anything for the one I love cook,clean,laundry, and I don't care if someone is "masculine"or "feminine" I just want them to be practical and not be a big baby.
***One of my x's from highschool was upset his parents split but all I could think about was giving him a box of tampons and some midol. In highschool I wasn't really looking for love I was just like well I'll meet the right person never felt rushed.
*** Again I'm not on the prowl I trust the right person to come along.
*** Physically? Hmm I ain't got no type bad bitches is the only thing that I like . I like girls and guys any style or build if they're sexy they're sexy and I can get down.
*** I don't dress really skanky but I wear tight pants and t-shirts I got a nice body so it's bound to draw attention sometimes.
***Choosing between people is so hard I just want them all and I'm horrible I know but I just pick whoever is probably gonna be interesting for all time not just when I'm getting to know them.
 

RobinSkye

What Is Life?
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
572
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
541
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
**I like when a guy/girl isn't afraid to stand up to me. I usually test this by arguing with them or telling them to do something and if they crumble under the pressure its a no go. My partner must not be easily offended, must be fun to joke around with and converse with. I like when somebody can lead me through my messy life I like to lead but not in my romantic life I like to take the seat on that one. I'm not good at comforting beyond physical affection which makes me feel like a bad girlfriend at times.
***Gender roles hmm idc I'll do anything for the one I love cook,clean,laundry, and I don't care if someone is "masculine"or "feminine" I just want them to be practical and not be a big baby.
***One of my x's from highschool was upset his parents split but all I could think about was giving him a box of tampons and some midol. In highschool I wasn't really looking for love I was just like well I'll meet the right person never felt rushed.
*** Again I'm not on the prowl I trust the right person to come along.
*** Physically? Hmm I ain't got no type bad bitches is the only thing that I like . I like girls and guys any style or build if they're sexy they're sexy and I can get down.
*** I don't dress really skanky but I wear tight pants and t-shirts I got a nice body so it's bound to draw attention sometimes.
***Choosing between people is so hard I just want them all and I'm horrible I know but I just pick whoever is probably gonna be interesting for all time not just when I'm getting to know them.

Let me get this straight, you had no sympathy toward someone who practically just lost his family?
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
It didn't just happen it had happened years ago and he was still upset about it all the time I felt that he needed to stop imagining his life would be perfect if his family was together.Then again family doesn't really mean much to me so I can be a little insensitive.
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
Let me get this straight, you had no sympathy toward someone who practically just lost his family?

Sorry I forgot to quote you but yeah I think I have problem tbh. Maybe its from my personal experience with family but someone sharing blood doesn't make me like someone or want to be around them.
 

RobinSkye

What Is Life?
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
572
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
541
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sorry I forgot to quote you but yeah I think I have problem tbh. Maybe its from my personal experience with family but someone sharing blood doesn't make me like someone or want to be around them.

That's interesting, because the way that I understand it, it's Ne that allows the types which consciously use it to see from different perspectives and be open-minded to the viewpoints of other beings. I suppose this could be more of a feeling subject, though. The ENTP "blind spot" is Fi, and since your Fi is practically non-existant it would seem, or maybe more like "defiant Fi," you can't sympathize with any issues that deal with it. Sorry if it sounds like a monologue, I just find it interesting. :D
Welcome to the forum, also!
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It didn't just happen it had happened years ago and he was still upset about it all the time I felt that he needed to stop imagining his life would be perfect if his family was together.Then again family doesn't really mean much to me so I can be a little insensitive.
I would probably have also had that sense of, "gee - haven't you managed to move on from it yet" in such a situation. If I saw they really had not, and it was in fact still causing problems in their life, I might suggest they see a counselor to get help dealing with it. Other than that, though, I usually am at a loss as to what to do when someone is bothered by something like this, something that doesn't readily yield to the usual problem-solving methods. I suspect I have a good few years on you, though, so at least I have been around this block a few times and don't get thrown by it.
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
That's interesting, because the way that I understand it, it's Ne that allows the types which consciously use it to see from different perspectives and be open-minded to the viewpoints of other beings. I suppose this could be more of a feeling subject, though. The ENTP "blind spot" is Fi, and since your Fi is practically non-existant it would seem, or maybe more like "defiant Fi," you can't sympathize with any issues that deal with it. Sorry if it sounds like a monologue, I just find it interesting. :D
Welcome to the forum, also!

Yeah I definitely think its an emotional thing I only see my immediate family cause I feel obligated but other than that I avoid it I'll hang out with other people's families more lol. There's people on my family I never would purposely see again not cause they are the worst people ever I just don't enjoy them a lot so why?? I like that good good 24/7 and thanks this place is cool.
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
I would probably have also had that sense of, "gee - haven't you managed to move on from it yet" in such a situation. If I saw they really had not, and it was in fact still causing problems in their life, I might suggest they see a counselor to get help dealing with it. Other than that, though, I usually am at a loss as to what to do when someone is bothered by something like this, something that doesn't readily yield to the usual problem-solving methods. I suspect I have a good few years on you, though, so at least I have been around this block a few times and don't get thrown by it.

Yes like I totally get being depressed but not because of some minuscule detail in my little world none of that shit has anything to do with how I perceive life anyways.I don't know how to comfort people a lot its just kinda awkward .
 

RobinSkye

What Is Life?
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
572
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
541
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yeah I definitely think its an emotional thing I only see my immediate family cause I feel obligated but other than that I avoid it I'll hang out with other people's families more lol. There's people on my family I never would purposely see again not cause they are the worst people ever I just don't enjoy them a lot so why?? I like that good good 24/7 and thanks this place is cool.

You haven't established any sort of loving bond with, say, your parents? I guess that's probably the case for a lot of people, and I should consider myself lucky, although even I feel as though I have no one in particular I can completely rely on and won't find major faults in. I guess I'll continue to be idealistic in the search for people who don't have such flaws and actually are always enjoyable to be around, like you've pointed out. It just doesn't seem possible, and has left me in despair many times. What's left for life then if one doesn't enjoy the company of anyone else more than oneself?
 

SlytherinD

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
25
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
8w7
You haven't established any sort of loving bond with, say, your parents? I guess that's probably the case for a lot of people, and I should consider myself lucky, although even I feel as though I have no one in particular I can completely rely on and won't find major faults in. I guess I'll continue to be idealistic in the search for people who don't have such flaws and actually are always enjoyable to be around, like you've pointed out. It just doesn't seem possible, and has left me in despair many times. What's left for life then if one doesn't enjoy the company of anyone else more than oneself?

I do love my parents but that doesn't mean I need their support. I grew up with my Dad 8 hours away and my mom at work late 6 days a week. Luckily I have a nice circle of friends however I still enjoy time alone. Even though I love to see my friends a lot I truly believe one can be completely fulfilled alone "know thyself" applies here not that its easy in fact I see it as a challenge but I force myself because I think its necessary to be disciplined and to be able to sit with my thoughts with no distractions for at least 30 minutes a day. The more I distract myself from myself the more I let problems get out of hand.
 
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