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  1. #11
    Senior Member miked277's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I do think I'm a bit of a hidden gem, though. And do believe I could be loved; just not as I am now.
    that's pretty much how i feel.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    In analogy to the thread for the INTx women, here's one where you guys can talk about how you experience the world of love and dating and so forth.

    Original questions:

    "how often do you get hit on? I am not talking about the drunk frat boy slutty airhead saying you look [dorky-]cute, but some seriously cool guys women that can look into you and tell how cool you really are inside."

    "Do they really just not approach, or do you push them away after they do? Also, do you judge people too quickly and label them as idiots before they have a chance to show the real them..."

    (any gay members just unthink the strikethrough)

    One of the things that got unearthed in the female thread is a distinct blend of INTJ insecrutiy that came down to not believing they could really be loved. Does this idea have a male counterpart?

    Open up those hearts. :p
    1. I get hit on a fairly often, not so much lately since I haven't been going many places. I attribute that to my ability to keep up a nice appearance, which is what people notice first.

    2. I don't get a whole lot of really good approach opportunities, and when I do, I rarely take full advantage of them. I rarely get to know someone deep enough to pursue much of a relationship. Probably because I can be a bit shy, lacking in confidence, and I tend to think most types I'd meet wouldn't be worth much more than a fling or light friendship. And since I prefer a meaningful relationship that has some implications for the future (just the way I think) over a fling situation, I tend to ignore my base instinct for wanting sex and such, and I just don't go very far with most women I meet or get approached by. I'm willing to get to know anyone better, but it takes two to tango, and I don't often feel the desire to dance/keep dancing I guess.

    Add to that, I'm the type of person who likes to be an individual and sometimes give off a signal that is contradictory to my nature, mostly just to throw people off and let them underestimate my greater potential. So, I look something like a stereotypical black/hip hop sort of dude, even though the way I think and really act is way different than what you'd expect from such a stereotype. I wouldn't change my style of dress, because I like the style and feel comfortable in it. When I meet people who are mature enough to see past stereotypes and such to see what a person is really like, then I know I've found a person worthy of spending time with because they have seen beyond culture and society in a way. I generally despise changing my appearance or surface mannerisms to fit in with the crowd I'm around, just so the crowd will warm up to getting to know me better, unless I just want so bad for them to understand me that I do compromise and change, which usually doesn't happen.

    For example- Around here, there are almost all Caucasian surfer/rocker types. I stick out like a sore thumb as a black guy who looks all into the hip hop culture. The way I actually think and act however, is probably more similar to... actually, I find it hard to place INTP with a general culture :P. But you get the point. Around here, people tend to be very less open to me or talking to me, and girls will rarely approach or be very open to my advances, because they look at me and assume I'm so different from them (and probably only want sex), which is far from the truth. Some say I could easily change this by changing my appearance, but you know, that just doesn't seem worth it to me. I'd rather hang with people who are more comfortable with and open to different cultures anyway.

    On the other hand, when I go to the south part of town where there is a great cultural diversity (all types, not just black), I have 10 times the number of girls hitting on me and success talking with them. Go figure...

  3. #13
    only bites when provoked
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    I have noticed that there is a sort of racial segregation in this area, too. I'm not really like most of the other younger people here, either.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

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