[INTJ] How do you INTJ's deal with ESFJ's?

[Harlow_Jem]

One of my female best friends is an ESFJ and this guy I am currently very interested in is also an ESFJ and while I absolutely love my ESFJ best friend, I feel like the ESFJ guy and I live in completely different universe. Can someone please explain an ESFJ guy to me in INTJ terms? And how an INTJ can better understand/deal with an ESFJ?

 

[Firelie]

I don't know any male ESFJ's (that I know of), but I can't imagine that relationship working out so well. The only ESFJ I've ever had prolonged contact with seemed nice at first, but quickly became the most annoying and manipulative human being I've ever met. I'm not big on hating anyone, but I think I'd be perfectly okay if that woman simply stopped existing.

 

[Uytuun]

My mother is an ESFJ and my father is an INTJ...it ain't pretty. My mother does not seem to be well-developed at all (and neither is she interested in developing), so more than likely she is not the best representative of the type, but the S in combination with the F and J is sooo difficult for me to tolerate. They really do appear to live in completely different worlds. Their marriage is a great example of what I do not want for myself.

There is a long thread on INTJ-ESFJ interaction at INTJforum.