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[INTP] INTPs: do you have commitment issues?

Commitment issues?


  • Total voters
    17

baccheion

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2013
Messages
777
As in committing to a relationship. I've heard this more than once, so I'm wondering if it's a thing. Where do you stand and why do you think that's the case?
 

baccheion

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2013
Messages
777
I've never had commitment issues, and it's never crossed my mind. If anything, I fit the stereotype of the INTP that would settle down with the first (good) woman that comes his way. I kinda like to get it over with. I'm either interested, not interested, or trying to figure out which (active process, and I'm usually partially interested at that point, but I'm checking to ensure that everything is legit).
 

ameeker

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
89
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
My ENTP ex was an actual commitment phobe. I'm pretty sure he's an ENTP.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have, mainly due to my lack of spare time and my personal space requirements. There's not much room for a relationship in my life.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
My INTP knew me less than two months when he asked me to marry him. I was kind of freaked out, but I liked him so I thought I'd see how it went.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
One of my friends had an INTP that didn't want to "label" what they had even though it was basically a relationship. Right before she left for school he realized what he wanted with her and now they're in an open relationship.

Another one of my friends and this INTP guy had a thing but they didn't really work out for whatever reason. I think he said he liked what he had with her too much and he didn't want to risk losing it.

My ENFJ bestie was in a relationship with an INTP for almost 3 years, but they were constantly fighting and on-and-off with each other. Like I remember they would break up every month. After they grew tired of it all they had a clean break up and now they're friends, but immediately after the INTP guy started dating this INFJ girl that he had been talking to while he and my ENFJ bestie were going out. It was so obvious she was into him too since she basically isolated herself from all her friends except one and the INTP guy.
 

anticlimatic

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 17, 2013
Messages
3,299
MBTI Type
INTP
Until now I've never been 100% certain that the woman I was with was 'the one,' though I remained as committed as I could be to those women while we were together...but in the back of my mind I think I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, which probably hastened the process.
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Not really. The idea of a lifetime monogamic arrangement doesn't sound very alluring to me though...So many opportunities to discard... :cry:
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I was in a 3 year relationship with an ENTP. He was very committed. He was with his next girlfriend for a few years too and they seemed to have a serious relationship not lacking in the commitment area. The two INTPs I know are both in committed long-term relationships. One is married to an INFJ and has two kids and one has been with my ENFJ friend for like over 10 years.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Wow. How do you like someone for that long? Did you two have a relationship at one point?
I married him about six months after he proposed. Still married and have four kids. My husband says the secret is to marry someone you like and then be nice to them. :shrug:
 

rogue350

New member
Joined
Nov 14, 2013
Messages
67
I married him about six months after he proposed. Still married and have four kids. My husband says the secret is to marry someone you like and then be nice to them. :shrug:

That is awesome! Congrats. Might I ask, between you two, which is more inward-looking? I'm trying to describe "introverted" without using the word.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
That is awesome! Congrats. Might I ask, between you two, which is more inward-looking? I'm trying to describe "introverted" without using the word.
He is, I think.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I don't have commitment issues, unless we are talking about marriage, which I don't feel up for right now. I pretty much wanted LTRs as soon as I realized that I was interested in women. 'course it took me longer than usual to figure that out. I felt pretty asexual until junior high or so. Looking back, I remember feeling attraction to women before that, but I didn't realize what it was because it didn't feel the way I though it was "supposed" to feel. I think that sort of prolonged asexuality really isn't that weird for IXTX types in general.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?
 
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