[INTP] INTPs: do you have commitment issues?

[Honor]

i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?

i agree wholeheartedly

 

[Forever_Jung]

i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?

I know what you're saying. I remember one girl told me I had commitment issues, but really it was just I had issues with committing to her. That being said, I do know people who never commit to people enough to even find out whether they're right for them or not.

 

[INTP]

i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?

Well i think that other problems can cause issues with committing romantically to other people. I have a friend who is a perfect example of this

 

[rav3n]

NTPs are more likely to commit if they don't feel pressured to commit, although with ENTPs one wonders what component of that is commitment phobia since they appear to love to pursue other commitment phobes.

With INTPs, there appears to be some correlation between their desire for commitment and fear of abandonment/safe haven.

 

[digesthisickness]

 

[cafe]

So if you are with someone that you know desires a long term commitment, but you know you do not want to commit to anything long-term with them how do you justify the ethics of that to yourself or is that even a thing? If I knew I did not want to commit to someone who wanted a commitment from me, I think I would feel obligated to break it off because I would be wasting their time, which they could be using to find someone who would want to commit to them, not to mention my own.

 

[Totenkindly]

So if you are with someone that you know desires a long term commitment, but you know you do not want to want to commit to anything long-term with them how do you justify the ethics of that to yourself or is that even a thing? If I knew I did not want to commit to someone who wanted a commitment from me, I think I would feel obligated to break it off because I would be wasting their time, which they could be using to find someone who would want to commit to them, not to mention my own.

I agree.

Even if we step outside the realm of "being kind" to a more impersonal assessment, it's simply not fair for one person to take advantage of another like that in terms of pure autonomy. Both people should put their cards on the table honestly, so that each can assess things and do what they need to in order to take care of themselves properly.

 

[Hypatia]

I propose this thread change: "INTPs, do you have commitment tissues?"

 

[Fluffywolf]

i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?

I know what you mean though. I think the main issue lies with the realization you are with someone you really want to be with.

I only ever really felt that with one other person and it didn't work out, but I do know that when I did feel like that, commitment or sacrifice both weren't an issue at all for me.

So perhaps it's just all about finding the right person at the right time.

 

[Lady_X]

So if you are with someone that you know desires a long term commitment, but you know you do not want to commit to anything long-term with them how do you justify the ethics of that to yourself or is that even a thing? If I knew I did not want to commit to someone who wanted a commitment from me, I think I would feel obligated to break it off because I would be wasting their time, which they could be using to find someone who would want to commit to them, not to mention my own.

I feel the same. I've actually broke it off with a couple people in the past after they said they were in live with me. It just felt wrong to continue when I didn't feel the same.

 

[Udog]

i don't know if i can even believe people have issues with commitment. i might just think that they're with the wrong person if it dosn't come naturally. is that absurd? or does anyone else think so?

I think this is commonly, but not always, true. Still, it's true frequently enough that if you want to commit to someone, but they don't reciprocate, it's better to break it off so both of you can find a better match.

 

[toritheintp]

It's is more of an intimacy thing rater than commitment, I worry about getting too close to somebody and letting my barriers down because it makes it a lot easier for them to hurt me...I imagine I'll find somebody, someday, that I don't mind letting in all that much.