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[INTJ] For the love of an INTJ

Algora J

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
122
I thought I would share some of my positive experiences with INTJs, despite the fact that I've been on their case lately about how selfish they can be!

INTJ-A: my cousin: He's charming, he's well-travelled, he's great with the ladies, and always on the go. He loves planning things to do, hates staying at home, and I can always rely on him to take me around the city. Not to mention, he's the best conversationalist and the first person to take me to Oktoberfest, where we had a blast. In fact, we're really a lot alike, except for certain aspects in our thinking style. He's more engineering and mathematically oriented, whereas I'm more philosophical and liberal arts oriented.

INTJ-B: Artist and photographer I met in college. When we first met, there was an irrevocable bond between us. I found him so powerful in his emotion and I could always read his thoughts. It was very abstract, the way we related to each other. I found him very hot and cold. Cold because he was always protecting himself from being hurt and would become terribly distant; hot when we were in sync and working on photography projects together. I loved the way I could delve into his past and break apart all his fears.

INTJ-C: University lecturer I dated for a while. We had the best conversations on the phone while we talked for hours upon hours at a time. He was very competitive though and didn't like it when I was oftentimes right! :) We got along so well just one-on-one, but around other people, we would fall apart. I found him selfish and he wasn't very protective and when I told him that I liked chivalry in men, he told me that was a sexist thing to say! According to Mr. Professor here, chivalry was sexist, and he preferred if women go fetch their own glass of water. He also liked to start arguments in restaurants, and I was very embarrassed of that since I prefer people don't yell in public around others.

INTJ-D: A lesbian friend I had several years ago. At first, she was attracted to me and when we first met, she was quite mean to me and ignored me. Later, I realized it was her typical defense mechanism for dealing with people she fancied. We both shared a common pleasure of finding new cuisine and going out to different restaurants, but we couldn't get along at all otherwise. She was always defensive and would attack me if I disagreed with her opinion, and then would lay the guilt trip on me that she had been slapped when she was a kid by her adoptive father. I was always trying to appease her, and basically walked around eggshells during our entire friendship. She would start yelling at me if I ever disagreed with her, and then accused me of "not listening" to her (translation: not "agreeing" with her) then would complain that I kept "interrupting" her. She had a tendency to stray off topic and would get easily annoyed if I asked her questions in regards to fuzzy details she had a hard time remembering.

INTJ-E: The most efficient woman in the corporate world I'd ever seen. I wanted to be her when I grew up. She was always juggling multiple projects and fought hard for all of them. She was very rational, practical and humanistic at the same time. Being where she was though, she had to fight very hard to win her position. When I would read her briefs, I would sometimes feel overwhelmed; she had a lot more wealth of knowledge than I could ever attain, and was inherently more disciplined in a lot of ways that I had yet to be. (I liked to socialize and party- and felt that sometimes I was messy in my thinking [what can I say- I'm a tough critic on myself!] she had thorough research to back up her plans). When I first met her, I thought that she should be President of the United States.
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
6,704
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Out of curiosity, what type are you?

And INTJ-D is not a positive experience. Why is it on the list?
 

sriv

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
418
MBTI Type
JIxT
INTJ-E: The most efficient woman in the corporate world I'd ever seen. I wanted to be her when I grew up. She was always juggling multiple projects and fought hard for all of them. She was very rational, practical and humanistic at the same time. Being where she was though, she had to fight very hard to win her position. When I would read her briefs, I would sometimes feel overwhelmed; she had a lot more wealth of knowledge than I could ever attain, and was inherently more disciplined in a lot of ways that I had yet to be. (I liked to socialize and party- and felt that sometimes I was messy in my thinking [what can I say- I'm a tough critic on myself!] she had thorough research to back up her plans). When I first met her, I thought that she should be President of the United States.
Sounds ISTJ to me.
 

Algora J

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
122
Out of curiosity, what type are you?

And INTJ-D is not a positive experience. Why is it on the list?

I'm an ENTJ :)

Although it doesn't seem like a "positive" experience, it taught me a lot about how to deal with difficult people.
 

creativeRhino

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
113
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hey,

I was partnered/married to an ENTJ. I think it is a great combo - with challenges that are worth it.

I was the one who would look at his "grand plan" that really was an idea more than a plan and actually make it workable. He thought I was a wet-blanket until he could see I made his stuff go well.

Conversely I'd sometimes think "WTF, how did I end up doing THIS, I don't recall agreeing to this...." - he had a great way of getting things happening fast and I could deal with the issues as they came up. He hated that I couldn't always explain why I had an idea/solution but he knew he could trust me to make something "workable".

Example E may still be an INTJ - as they will become detailed if that is what is necessary - but scratch the surface and it is shallow vs ISTJ deep.

Since I lost my ENTJ (cancer) I've dated an ISTJ and an ISFJ ick.
I need N and I need T. I can deal with P and E - if not too strong....
 

Firelie

Magical
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
836
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
Chivalry is sexist if you're expecting men to do it and then getting disappointed/annoyed when they don't.
 

Camelopardalis

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2007
Messages
58
MBTI Type
INTJ
Concerning INTJ-C: Why would telling women to go get their own glass of water be a problem? I'd rather get my own glass of water. (I'm female)
 
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