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[NT] Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?

Orangey

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I am pretty sure this topic has come up before, but as I am lazy and the forum search tool gives me the same results when I type in "shit" as when I type in "emotion", I think it is safe for me to go ahead and post this.

Are you embarrassed by open displays of emotion?

I personally recall one situation where two people in class were arguing (about what I don't recall, probably a political topic), and the one became angry and said something nasty to the other, resulting in both being teary eyed and agitated by the time they had done. My reaction to their emotional displays was the same the whole time- I was cringing with embarrassment for the both of them. I don't really know why...most of the people around me didn't seem embarrassed, and the interlocutors were perfectly fine with it, even afterwards. I notice that this is a pattern in my behavior.

Is anyone else this way? It seems like something that might be attributed to "T" behavior in theory, but I'm not really certain, especially given that embarrassment is itself an emotional reaction.
 

miked277

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i wouldn't say embarassed by it but rather it just doesn't affect me most times... or at least in public. i allow myself to become emotional or emotionally affected when i'm by myself... ya know for practice :p

thinking about it further, the sexes of the two people i suppose would in fact play a role in determining how i would react if at all to what you described.
 

Orangey

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i wouldn't say embarassed by it but rather it just doesn't affect me most times... or at least in public. i allow myself to become emotional or emotionally affected when i'm by myself... ya know for practice :p

thinking about it further, the sexes of the two people i suppose would in fact play a role in determining how i would react if at all to what you described.

They were both women. I have seen some men get angry in debates like that as well, but never teary eyed. I think it's interesting that you become emotionally affected when alone...this is usually when I am the least emotionally perturbed.
 

miked277

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They were both women. I have seen some men get angry in debates like that as well, but never teary eyed. I think it's interesting that you become emotionally affected when alone...this is usually when I am the least emotionally perturbed.

well to be clear, it's pretty much 100% of the time caused by some sad movie i watch. i don't get emotional just sitting there thinking heh :p
 

Orangey

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well to be clear, it's pretty much 100% of the time caused by some sad movie i watch. i don't get emotional just sitting there thinking heh :p

LOL I understand then. Especially if said movie is "Grave of the Fireflies".
 

miked277

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also i think it depends on the social norms people were raised w/ in addition to thinking or feeling preference. like if your family had a lot of feelers in it or not.

i will say this though, i do get mildly frustrated (embarassment's third cousin twice removed) when people use emotion based arguments in situations where a clear-headed logical one would better fit. which isn't to say that that is always the case. sometimes the emotion route is better suited to the situation and in those cases it works and that's great. but yeah, i suppose people just use the tools their given and in your classmates' case, it was tears.

but yeah, i dunno exactly what the two people you're talking about were arguing about so i can't really comment further.
 

Orangey

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also i think it depends on the social norms people were raised w/ in addition to thinking or feeling preference. like if your family had a lot of feelers in it or not..

True. My family certainly weren't any feelers.

i will say this though, i do get mildly frustrated (embarassment's third cousin twice removed) when people use emotion based arguments in situations where a clear-headed logical one would better fit. which isn't to say that that is always the case. sometimes the emotion route is better suited to the situation and in those cases it works and that's great. but yeah, i suppose people just use the tools their given and in your classmates' case, it was tears.

but yeah, i dunno exactly what the two people you're talking about were arguing about so i can't really comment further.

Well the point at which I started to feel embarrassment was the point where all argument was abandoned in favor of judgment and name calling (and tears). Being the onlooker, I was not myself invested in the actual issue being argued. If someone is arguing well with passion, I have no problem with this. I don't really feel anything at all unless they say something blatantly stupid (or go down the path of the aforementioned two). I am talking more about overt emotional reactions in general, like when someone bursts into tears over something that was said to them, or when people get so angry that they start throwing things. Then I get embarrassed for them.
 

JustDave

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Yes, very much so. Emotions only cloud the issue. IMO, when emotions are removed from the equation it becomes much easier to solve.
 

cafe

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Sometimes. Maybe it's the introversion at work.
 

Lateralus

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Not really, but I sometimes find them annoying. I come from a pretty emotional family, so I'm used to it.
 

Randomnity

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Yeah, embarrassed and awkward. It kinda seems like a social faux pas to me, even if sometimes it's probably the opposite....
 

norepinephrine

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I am talking more about overt emotional reactions in general, like when someone bursts into tears over something that was said to them, or when people get so angry that they start throwing things. Then I get embarrassed for them.

I also agree that it may be the introversion at work. But what I feel for them is more the undercurrent of annoyance/frustration. I tend to watch displays such as these as though they're tennis matches, my eyes bouncing from one to the other waiting for the ultimate meltdown.

And the flinging of cutlery and miscellaneous other articles should almost always be a private affair, the sole exception being casually tossing the remnants of an alcoholic beverage in the face of one's nemesis. Just kidding. To the best of my recollection, I do not recall ever doing such a thing.

OTOH, family rumor informs me that my grandmother used to hoard badly cracked porcelain articles for the sole purpose of hurling them across the room during the course of arguments.

Calculated passionate outbursts. I kinda like that.

Duck and cover.
 

Orangey

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Yeah, embarrassed and awkward. It kinda seems like a social faux pas to me, even if sometimes it's probably the opposite....

Yes, that's exactly it.

I also agree that it may be the introversion at work. But what I feel for them is more the undercurrent of annoyance/frustration. I tend to watch displays such as this as if it's a tennis match, my eyes bouncing from one to the other waiting for the ultimate meltdown.

This sounds like you probably expected there to be some sort of emotional breakdown. If I anticipated that there might be a meltdown, then yeah, I might be more frustrated/annoyed than embarrassed. In the context of a discussion in school, though, you don't expect for people to act that way. I suppose the surprise adds to my reaction.

And the flinging of cutlery and miscellaneous other articles should almost always be a private affair, the sole exception being casually tossing the remnants of an alcoholic beverage in the face of one's nemesis. Just kidding. To the best of my recollection, I do not recall ever doing such a thing.

OTOH, family rumor informs me that my grandmother used to hoard badly cracked porcelain articles for the sole purpose of hurling them across the room during the course of arguments.

Calculated passionate outbursts. I kinda like that.

Duck and cover.

:laugh:
 

01011010

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As long as I'm not being directly involved or distracted by it, I could care less. I really don't pay that much attention to other people.
 

Kasper

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Not embarrassed but I do find it pathetic. I'd generally sit back and snigger at the immaturity. Yes I’m easily amused :yes:
 

Uytuun

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More annoyed than embarrassed, I think, though there probably is an undercurrent of not feeling at ease.
 

Orangey

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As long as I'm not being directly involved or distracted by it, I could care less. I really don't pay that much attention to other people.

Well I find that these sorts of things are in general distracting, especially if you are in a class situation where you have nothing else to occupy yourself.
 

Uytuun

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Currently your avatar's cuteness is distracting me.
 

MetalWounds

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I often look back and wish I hadn't been so emotional. I tend to view even a small display of emotion to be a little much.

As far as others go, I'm not bothered by them displaying emotion, since it doesn't really concern me. I'm usually annoyed more than anything else. I have been known to cringe when someone says something blatantly embarrassing... I've been there too many times myself.
 
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