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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    3w2 sx/sp

    Default Most Confusing NT in the World??

    So, there is this ENTP 3w4 lady.

    From December 2012-February 2013, we talked all the time via FB message and text messaging.

    Beginning of February 2013, I went to her dorm room (I graduated), we almost have sex, but I feel like a one night stand, and I think she likes someone else. She was naked on top of me, I refused sex, we still cuddle, I spend the night.

    Three days later, I go abroad for a 4 months. She messages me the instant I get on FB abroad. Things happen, after about a month abroad, she messages me telling me she doesn't want a relationship with me, not to read into it, it was a blunt declaration, we weren't compatible. I disagree. There is a STRONG connection when she and I are together. I'd leave a room, come back, and pretty much say what she said when I left the room. It is eerie.

    We don't talk for 5 months.

    I come back home, go and visit friends at my college towards the end of August. See, her, she's drunk, I approach her, she acts like a bitch to me. Next day, she sends me an apology message. We start talking again.

    I want to hang out, she says no, but after talking for a bit, she wants to hang out. I was going to take her to a haunted house, but a day before, she gets a concussion. She insist I go visit her.

    We talk, have a pretty decent time, but no real sexual flare. She brought up some sexual jokes, but I didnt' really read into it. We reschedule the haunted house.

    Last Tuesday, we planned for me to go to her room, go for a drive, and I teach her some yoga (she has a bad back). I get there, we go for the drive, she refuses the yoga because her best friend "heard male voices." She's obnoxiously private about her life. During the drive, she calls me "friend," "bro," and doesn't take well to my physical advances (she didn't appreciate nor back down when I did the previous time we hung out). We talk about the night in February, she basically tells me I read too much into it, and she apologizes for "using me." She also claims to have attachment issues and can't do relationships (she continuously tells me that even her best friends at school piss her off and she doesn't plan on keeping contact with anyone after her graduation. This was in response to me telling her she's the only one I like talking to).

    I continuously try to push this "you and I are very similar" card (it is true, she doesn't see it).

    She has been rejected from this INFJ guy she has been friends with for years, and I think she's rather frustrated about it, but is trying to get over it.

    We were supposed to go to the haunted house (again, just me and her) yesterday, but I messaged her telling her I wasn't taking her because I couldn't possibly ever see her as "just friends," and if she ever wanted to hang out in a context of a date (and told her informal dates, but dates nonetheless, are preferable) to contact me. We decide to have a strictly intellectual relationship. She responded to this proposal with "aww, that is the most genuine, nicest thing anyone has ever told me. I completely understand, don't worry, I'll leave you alone."

    Last night, she messages me at about 1:30AM telling me how she doesn't think it's possible for an ENTP to be happy at her school (I'm assuming she was drunk). At 1PM I messaged her back asking "and why is that?" She looked at my question, didn't respond.

    She tells me she doesn't trust anybody, but always tells me her feelings, and then corrects herself saying "hmmm.....I wonder why I always go to you with my feelings? Sorry, I'm being so self-centered."

    My best friend (who doesn't know her) thinks she either subconsciously or unconsciously likes me. I don't know what to do. I am not readily accessible to her (which could be a good thing), but I strongly think that there is something here. She knows that I like her, so I acted correctly there.

    She is knowledgeable about MBTI. She tossed around different types for me in the past (called me ENTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, and ESFJ), but in the car ride, I sort of opened up to her a little bit, and she admitted that I was an INJ (I know myself to be an INxJ, most probably an INFJ). My Enneagram is 3w2.

    What is my move with this girl?

  2. #2
    Member Triforce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012


    Your move.. i don`t know, What do you want?

    Be cool patient and let her come to you. lissen to her feelings and give her good hugs and touch her gently while you look in her eyes.

    Do you really want a relationship? i do not think so. Sounds turbulent.

    Just wait till shes drunk and want to meet. But a one night stand is probably going to create more drama.

    Be cool patient and be clear about your intentions about it when a opening comes.

    Either way i think shes a messy thingy and that you need to be clear and solid about whatever your intentions are.

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