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[NT] Building ENTP/ENTJ long turn relationship:how do I interpret my partners choice?

Millis

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2011
Messages
15
MBTI Type
ENTP
I have been in the ENTP/ENTJ relationship for about a year. We have had a crisis app. half the way, but have survived it, more or less resolved the issues and for now it keeps growing and blooming. We are happy together and enjoying each others company, while spending almost all free time together, more or less living together both at my and his place in turns. I'm not in a rush to move together right now but I'm considering it as an opportunity during the next year or so, maybe even sooner.

My partner has in the meanwhile began looking for a new apartment, as he is very tired of his rental place in the suburb and he wants to move downtown. He is looking for an apartment for himself and his two kids and he is not really involving me in the process. I don't really know how to interpret this situation. In my opinion it would be wise to wait a bit. When we both feel ready we could make a decision as to whether or not we would like to move together. And first thereafter find something together. If he buys an apartment now and invests serious money in it, I hardly believe he is going to sell it in a year or so in order to move together with me. So I would probably end up accepting his choice of the apartment, and accepting things without having influence is just NOT my strong side. He says that I make a problem out of something which is not and we'll deal with issues when they will appear.

Doe's his behaviour indicate that he is not really taking me seriously as a long turn partner with whom he is going to build a life together or should I relax and trust that he says that we will figure out what to do when time comes? It's very difficult for me to understand why he can't just wait. And If he is not really taking me seriously maybe its the best place and time to leave, as I'm interested in a partner not just to play with but to share my life with...

ENTJ's or others with the insight of ENTJ's mentality, can you please help me out with interpreting this situation? I'm worried that I may misjudge things and make some fuck up's:huh:.
 

Samvega

Buddhist Misanthrope
Joined
Dec 11, 2007
Messages
1,073
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Sorry for the lack of responses, it's hard for ENTJs to post online much while they're in the middle of corporate takeovers or whatever they do for fun. I would be having the same feelings and issues, those are super valid questions and ones you need to ask him. ENTJs aren't always good at involving others in things, they seem more like the type that needs a passenger rather than a partner.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
I'm more concerned why he'd be willing to tear his two children out of the burbs, to live downtown. He sounds pretty selfish.

As for whether or not you have any input into this, since you've only been dating a year, it's a bit much to expect him to factor you into any apartment choice.
 

ameeker

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
89
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
I'm more concerned why he'd be willing to tear his two children out of the burbs, to live downtown. He sounds pretty selfish.

As for whether or not you have any input into this, since you've only been dating a year, it's a bit much to expect him to factor you into any apartment choice.

I agree. Only a year? That's a lil' presumptuous.
 

violet_crown

Active member
Joined
Jun 18, 2009
Messages
4,959
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
853
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sorry for the lack of responses, it's hard for ENTJs to post online much while they're in the middle of corporate takeovers or whatever they do for fun. I would be having the same feelings and issues, those are super valid questions and ones you need to ask him. ENTJs aren't always good at involving others in things, they seem more like the type that needs a passenger rather than a partner.

She's posted here before about her shitty relationship with this guy. Got a fair number of responses. Most of whom she either ignored, rationalized or debated. And, lo and behold, her relationship with this ENTJ is still convoluted and shitty. We're perfectly willing to give help where it's needed but don't waste our time.
 
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