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[ENTP] ENTPs and Dating

Sunshine

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
1,040
MBTI Type
ABCD
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ENTPs which types do you find your selves dating most? Or is there not one specific type or group of types that you find attractive?
 

nemo

Active member
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
445
Enneagram
<3
I'll preface this with what I spout every time I answer a question like this: I think that "what types go best together" questions are sort of bollocks.

But...

... There's definitely been a pattern of NF friends, teachers, and love interests who've enriched my life much more than most other people.

Also...

... I don't really "date" per se, so I feel a bit silly answering your question. My prior relationships have had that weird, amorphous dynamic that just grew organically, and seemingly from nowhere.

(Sorry for going overboard with the ellipses.)




But, you know, on second thought, I may admit to having a bit of a fetish involving KY jelly, handcuffs, and an ENFP -- but that's all. Seriously. And that's normal. Right? Right.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
But, you know, on second thought, I may admit to having a bit of a fetish involving KY jelly, handcuffs, and an ENFP -- but that's all. Seriously. And that's normal. Right? Right.
Totally normal.

Hmm... lucky girl this ENFP must be. :devil:
 

edel weiss

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Mar 31, 2008
Messages
147
MBTI Type
ENTP
I haven't dated, but I've had somewhat of a thing for INTP's and INTJ's. :cool:
 
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,026
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ENTP
I made the massive mistake of dating two xSTJ's and it was the worst thing I ever did... as for types that attract me?

I have a thing for ESFPs. Though I think my best fits ever have been ENFPs and INTPs.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
3,376
MBTI Type
ENTP
I've been happily married to an INFJ for six years now. I just want to add that type is just one factor in compatability though. Having compatable values and interests is at least as important.
 

Snowey1210

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
141
MBTI Type
ENTP
... I don't really "date" per se, so I feel a bit silly answering your question. My prior relationships have had that weird, amorphous dynamic that just grew organically, and seemingly from nowhere.

I agree with this, personally I'm not big on the whole love at first sight kinda thing for me it's something that develops over a period of time, I want to know the person before I make any commitment (perhaps that's the NT speaking). Unfortunately it can become a bit of a double edged sword at times as this can lead to ending up in the dreaded "friendzone" <shudder>
 
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,026
MBTI Type
ENTP
I agree with this, personally I'm not big on the whole love at first sight kinda thing for me it's something that develops over a period of time, I want to know the person before I make any commitment (perhaps that's the NT speaking). Unfortunately it can become a bit of a double edged sword at times as this can lead to ending up in the dreaded "friendzone" <shudder>

That's a good point... I don't date until I've already started a relationship though... does that sound weird? Well, what I mean is... a lot of my long-term relationships have started with meetings through friends or encounters in class... then moved on to a phone call to hang out or something... often enough with other people... it was easy on a college campus to just get to know each other without having to set up dates, per se... instead we'd just bump into each other all the time, go out for lunch... but that formal air of a date wasn't there... THEN we might go out for a party or dinner at night, perhaps the first true date of the nascent relationship, and end up hooking up and realizing this was going to have to be explored... then we'd 'date', as it were... does what I'm saying make sense?

Meaning, I don't tend to date strange women (hee HEE!) and then find myself in a relationship... I find myself in a relationship and then date a woman I've already gotten to know a little...
 

Algora J

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Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
122
ENTPs which types do you find your selves dating most? Or is there not one specific type or group of types that you find attractive?

A lot of my friends are ENTPs so I know a little about them :)

Usually I think ENTPs like ENFJs; this match seems to be a good balance. They both like doing things together, and need time alone- but not need to be each other all the time, as each type has a strong independent streak. ENFJs are also charming and unleashes the female ENTPs inner sex goddess.

I have another close male friend ENTP who is dating the opposite type- ISFJ and often they have communication problems. She's also quite regimented and structured while he is only so in his thinking style. They're a cute couple but newish.
I haven't seen them together, but he and I often talk and discuss ways to get the ISFJ to loosen up a bit :)
 
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,026
MBTI Type
ENTP
A lot of my friends are ENTPs so I know a little about them :)

Usually I think ENTPs like ENFJs; this match seems to be a good balance. They both like doing things together, and need time alone- but not need to be each other all the time, as each type has a strong independent streak. ENFJs are also charming and unleashes the female ENTPs inner sex goddess.

I have another close male friend ENTP who is dating the opposite type- ISFJ and often they have communication problems. She's also quite regimented and structured while he is only so in his thinking style. They're a cute couple but newish.
I haven't seen them together, but he and I often talk and discuss ways to get the ISFJ to loosen up a bit :)

I've never been able to get really deep into a friendship with an ENFJ... they're exciting and fun, often... when we argue, we're almost always not merely disagreeing, but talking at cross-purposes, which takes all the fun out of the (typically friendly) argument.

Good luck to your friend... as an ENTP I can't really work out deep relationships of any kind with Sensual judging types... they're too rigid... and if they're introverted to boot? God help me.

_________________________________________________________

I read somewhere that INFJs and INTJs are natural partners for ENTPs... but from what little I know about INTJs, I don't think I'd be happy with a stereotypical INTJ at all... too distanced... I need a feeler to balance me out... so an INFJ sounds pretty good... or if she's not a feeler, she needs to be a perceiver, so she can adapt more to changing circumstances and my changing moral universe... I don't have a steady way of looking at the world: it changes all the time... my partner cannot be inflexible when it comes to at least accommodating my flux.
 

ZiL

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Nov 27, 2007
Messages
511
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ENTP
Enneagram
567?
I'm not positive if I'm an ENTP but I'm close enough to answer this question...! I haven't dated a lot (I don't run into a lot of people that I'm attracted to to the point of wanting to spend a lot of time with them), but there's a definite pattern of being attracted to the more "sensitive and emotional" guys. I don't like the drama-trips, but I do like guys who are a bit more emotionally expressive than I am. NFs, I guess.
 

Algora J

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Jun 5, 2008
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122
Good luck to your friend... as an ENTP I can't really work out deep relationships of any kind with Sensual judging types... they're too rigid... and if they're introverted to boot? God help me.

Actually the problem with this particular ISFJ is that she's very traditional in her thinking. She wants a provider (my ENTP friend on the other hand- is the opposite of traditional- very free spirited and liberal), white picket fence, all that; whereas, my friend, he likes change and variety. She was getting on his case because he doesn't have a "normal" 9-5 job, something that is very important to her.

I read somewhere that INFJs and INTJs are natural partners for ENTPs... but from what little I know about INTJs, I don't think I'd be happy with a stereotypical INTJ at all... too distanced... I need a feeler to balance me out... so an INFJ sounds pretty good... or if she's not a feeler, she needs to be a perceiver, so she can adapt more to changing circumstances and my changing moral universe... I don't have a steady way of looking at the world: it changes all the time... my partner cannot be inflexible when it comes to at least accommodating my flux.

Well, I suggest you attempt to date an INFP first before making any conclusions. :D

I've noticed that ENFPs typically do well with INFJs as they both have a similar thinking style, and each type doesn't like to rock the boat with different opinions since each always have to be "right".

ENTPs on the other hand, are those kids in college who often spoke up when something was amiss, and while other people swept it under the rug, the ENTP would create dissonance within the group. I think they would be more suited for people who tend to stray away from the norm and the established- since breaking rules is one of their favorite things to do. Any NT type would probably work well for them.

The only discernible difference between P-types and J-types is that J-types like making quick decisions and assessments, while Ps take "forever" to come to a decision. I adore my P-friends, but sometimes the way they continually circle around a thought drives me crazy! :)
 
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,026
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ENTP
Well, I suggest you attempt to date an INFP first before making any conclusions. :D

I don't think I could quite deal with an INFP. With an INTP I know that my partner generally thinks a lot like me, so the introversion won't be a bad thing at all... but INFP's are not only introverted but would have a hard time really 'feeling' my way of thinking.
 

sandbeige

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Jul 4, 2008
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13
MBTI Type
ENTP
My biggest love, at first sight love, was infj...
My second biggest, rather 4th sight love, was isfj...
The rest was not important enough to be some kind of representative.
I can also say that:
- I do not like Istjs (with mutuality),
- can get on with intjs (but with no thrills, butterflies and so on :)) - I think we are both too rational and and cant reach this level of intimacy...
- I adore enfps, they adore me, lots of positive energy, great expectations and... we hardly never come to any closure :)
- esfjs/isfps are too needy and really get on my nerves and ,from unknown reasons, say they adore me :)
 

LucrativeSid

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Oct 20, 2007
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837
I don't think type matters much. They should be open-minded, NOT needy, and self-confident.

E/I - I don't really care, as long as it's not so extreme in one direction that they are not able to function.

S/N - Don't care. Balance is good.

T/F - Prefer T, but not someone who is robotical. F would be fine as long as they are not extremely sensitive in every way to the point where I spend all my time trying to patch things up instead of just enjoying the flow of the relationship.

P/J - I like J. If she's more P than me, we've got big trouble, although it would be funny.

You know, somebody who inspires growth and excitement rather than suffocation and stagnation. Any type can do that if they are healthy in the head.
 

mollyowens

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Jul 9, 2008
Messages
27
MBTI Type
ENTP
I've never had any interest whatsoever in dating an S. It's not a prejudice, it just never happens. The others I'm more flexible on but my two big relationships were with an INTP and an ENTP. I think I'm attracted to the argumentative style of another ENTP but then the constant back-and-forth just ends up getting on everyone's nerves. The INTP mate seemed clever and interesting but was too disconnected for me. My latest idea is that I'd probably match best with an ENFJ--relationship-oriented and sort of take-charge but in a sensitive kind of way. Now if only I could figure out how to get possible dates to take the MBTI...
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Now if only I could figure out how to get possible dates to take the MBTI...

Haha, yep, I've thought about this too. It would be so much better than that "what's your sign?" crap. I could be like "look, this book says you and I are PERFECT for each other." :D
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
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4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Best of luck finding an ENFJ male, Molly! (Or female for that matter...)
 

mollyowens

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2008
Messages
27
MBTI Type
ENTP
According to my sources, ENFJs are 1.6% of men and 3.3% of women. Pretty bad odds either way but I should probably seriously consider batting for the other team.

For full disclosure purposes, I should admit that I have conned a date or two into taking the MBTI, if my attempts at wrangling their type out of them are unsuccessful. This is probably ill-advised but just another way of expressing my ENTP desires to make everything scientific and subject to my own manipulation...

Oh and also, if you haven't found it yet, you can internet-date by type at typetango.com.
 
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