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  1. #21
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    Wind-Up Rex already nailed it, lol.

    However, I have a thought through MBTI terms, along the lines of what Marm said. It sounds like you took time in your life to develop your Fi side, but you have yet to integrate it with your Te. The tertiary can be a challenge because it's very on-off, everything or nothing.

    Integrating Fi and Te is an art of learning how to have a well of deep compassion and being able to reach out and connect that to someone else, while using Te as a method of detachment to prevent yourself from getting so lost in your emotion that you can't deal objectively with the situation. I don't pretend like I have anywhere near mastered the art, myself. Wind-Up Rex talked about fear – understanding when to lean heavy into Fi processing and when to lean heavy into Te processing can help mitigate fear, because Te is essentially fearless, while Fi has deep knowledge of the emotional void of fear. I think of Fi as the deep well of compassion inside, and Te as the force shield outside. You can lower and raise that guard to protect yourself and others, or to expose yourself and others.

    I don't mean that something bothers me and I just keep it inside. I mean literally for stuff to not even register as something that would bother me.
    I think eventually the goal would to be so compassionate and so strong that you can protect yourself and completely expose yourself at once – Wind-Up Rex's Warrior's Heart. It's about understanding that you are at once everyone and no one, about recognizing that you can understand and tap into the emotions that drive people to do illogical things but recognizing that you can transcend those emotions if you choose. So you would recognize things as having the potential to bother you for ____ reason, but also being able to remove yourself from that personal emotion and see the situation for the simple exchange that it is. Transcendence, if you will. And forgiveness for everyone who doesn't live up to the ideals and principles you wish to see, yourself included.

    You also sound like you might be an Enneatype 1 – such a strong focus on principles, and how yourself and others “should” be. Exploring that system might be useful.
    Last edited by skylights; 03-19-2013 at 12:09 PM.

  2. #22
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Brain surgery.
    The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.

    "In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla

    Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.

  3. #23
    darkened dreams Ravenetta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    4w5 sp/sx


    Since my replies have been a bit abstract, I wanted to add something a bit more pragmatic about the issue of feeling burnt out by people. I'm a bit older than @Bilaterial Entity, but I remember even just ten years ago feeling completely worn out by people because I had been in competitive environments. Whenever there is money, power, or recognition to be won, (and especially if resources are sparse) people become meaner and more dishonest. I became drawn towards more helping professions, and by this time in my life I'm surrounded by quite a few really amazingly wonderful people. Just yesterday I got a new piano student who is a developmentally delayed woman who is very sweet and innocent. Her social worker is a beautiful woman whose interaction with this special needs lady is so sweet and gentle. It was just a small interaction for me, but it was uplifting just to encounter such a sweet and innocent interaction between two people. I've also found a really laid back culture in the part of the U.S. where I live, so people are more relaxed and just "nice". It really is possible to be in environments where most people are hurtful, or where many people are really cool. It's worth creating intentional filters to be in proximity to the kindest examples of humanity.

    Edit: I should mention that while I am pretty tough in certain ways, I do have a problem with hypersensitivity in certain contexts, and so I can relate to the OP. For example, I was an adjunct teaching a freshman course for one year at the local university, and the political tensions, back-handed compliments, dishonest communication, and power struggles caused me to feel nauseated, dizzy, and with intense muscle pain for most of that year and so I had to quit. I have to work lower paying jobs in less competitive environments because I internalize too much negativity. I work at having ways to process emotional pain, but also have to alter my environment to fit me. It takes both.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    3w4 sx/so


    I need to master this.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  5. #25
    Senior Member Rex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    Pump iron. Get the testoserone going. Sleep and eat good.
    Epic derailment:
    wierd memory work->Tamagochi->tetris->Starcraft2->thugs->Chess->german techno->Love parade->disaster->death..

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