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[INTJ] Ask an INTJ

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Dons camo face paint and lets out a shrieking war cry... will fight on!

Psst Hap, we should talk strategy it appears the reputation of female INTJ's everywhere are on the line :unsure:
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
6,704
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Perhaps, Trin.

It's bizarre. From the pattern I've seen, Fe types think we're angry, hostile people and Fi types think we're adorably vulnerable and need to be protected. They all seem to be missing our normal mode of function and instead lunging straight for F -- which is always heavily guarded and protected with our lives.

The other pattern is with introverts and how they show the order of functions. Second function is first (after all, it's the first extroverted one), then the first, then the last (either in an avoidant or compensatory way), and then tertiary, if it ever comes out at all. For ITJs, that'd be Fi, very unapparent feeling. For INTJs this is particularly what makes us seem sociopathic, because unlike ISTJs we don't carry the same sort of allegiances and loyalties, and the ISTJs are just stuck looking like Spock -- good, but boring and absolutely by protocol. I really can't count the number of people who don't know me very well who think I'm going to become a serial killer when I grow up because of this.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
I'd say it's time to just have a sit down "what do you see us as" and "where do you see us going" talk. He's thought about it, no doubt. Get on the same page and if your views for what you want from each other long-term are drastically different, dump him.
 

Snail

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Messages
141
MBTI Type
INFP
I was chatting online the other night with an INTJ teenager who told me that INTJs were non-sexual. Is this true? This INTJ was at the age where most males experience a peak of sexual interest, and he was saying things like "I might as well not have a penis because I have no desire to use it." How much truth is there to the "robot" stereotype? Also, if it does turn out to be true that INTJs are not interested in sex, does that mean that other forms of intimacy are out? Do you get a rush from making eye contact? Do you feel anything when hugged? Where do you draw the line? If you are non-sexual, what are your reasons? Is it boring, impractical, frightening, or something else? Is it a vulnerability issue or is it just something you INTJs don't enjoy as much as normal people for some reason? Was he wrong to speak for all of you?
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
If you ask me. I am embodiment of the sterotype.

I am 23 and I have never had sex, never been kissed, not even romantically touched.

Also I have never been in love.

When it comes to hugs I don't feel anything special in the moment.

Why am I like this? I live in my head (literally).

Do I have problem with this? No.
 

Aerithria

Senior Thread Terminator
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
568
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I was chatting online the other night with an INTJ teenager who told me that INTJs were non-sexual. Is this true? This INTJ was at the age where most males experience a peak of sexual interest, and he was saying things like "I might as well not have a penis because I have no desire to use it." How much truth is there to the "robot" stereotype? Also, if it does turn out to be true that INTJs are not interested in sex, does that mean that other forms of intimacy are out? Do you get a rush from making eye contact? Do you feel anything when hugged? Where do you draw the line? If you are non-sexual, what are your reasons? Is it boring, impractical, frightening, or something else? Is it a vulnerability issue or is it just something you INTJs don't enjoy as much as normal people for some reason? Was he wrong to speak for all of you?
Well, there's always the possibility that the person you talked to was simply asexual, and his opinions on sex have nothing to do with his type. That's actually an interesting question though. I have to wonder if there's a corrolation between asexual-ness and type, because it does seem to mould itself well into the INTJ stereotype. Hm.

As for me, I'd say that my interest in sex is definitely less than it is for other people my age. I have no idea what it's like, or even whether or not I'd enjoy it, and figuring that out has never really seemed important to me. It varies a lot for intimacy in general, actually. I've never understood the whole deal behind eye contact, as for me it's just the same as looking anywhere else. For hugs, most of the time I'm not big on them, and as like eye contact I've never fully understood the connection it's supposed to make with other people. I guess part of it is because it's in my natures to observe other people, and while all this is understandable when other people do it, it becomes suddenly odd when I'm the participant. I'm apparently still learning to break out of that fly-on-the-wall perspective.

I'm not actually sure whether or not this relates to my type, but yeah. Perhaps it matches up with the other INTJ you talked to, I don't know.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I was chatting online the other night with an INTJ teenager who told me that INTJs were non-sexual. Is this true?

No.

This INTJ was at the age where most males experience a peak of sexual interest, and he was saying things like "I might as well not have a penis because I have no desire to use it." How much truth is there to the "robot" stereotype?

The robot stereotype is a fallacy. Robots are incapable of emotion, INTJs have plenty emotions they just may not show them openly. From what I've seen on forums there are a number of INTJ males who consider themselves asexual but they do not appear to be the majority.

Was he wrong to speak for all of you?

No one person can speak for everyone of their MBTI type, regardless of how they feel they fit the stereotype.

For me, physical intimacy is part of a healthy relationship. Being close to my partner is a requirement.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Just for the record I don't think that I am totally asexual.
But I have very strong asexual tendencys.
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
6,704
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I don't think most INTJs are asexual...

But I do think a lot of INTJs are 'late bloomers', regardless of when puberty happens. And they never get as crazy about it as most of the general populace.
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
Asexual? No. I think intj's have the same emotional response as everyone else. It's just that they don't allow it to dominate their decisions and actions.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I think INTJs are more likely to be romantically disillusioned, and are gifted at ignoring that aspect of themselves for long periods of time.
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I was chatting online the other night with an INTJ teenager who told me that INTJs were non-sexual. Is this true? This INTJ was at the age where most males experience a peak of sexual interest, and he was saying things like "I might as well not have a penis because I have no desire to use it." How much truth is there to the "robot" stereotype? Also, if it does turn out to be true that INTJs are not interested in sex, does that mean that other forms of intimacy are out? Do you get a rush from making eye contact? Do you feel anything when hugged? Where do you draw the line? If you are non-sexual, what are your reasons? Is it boring, impractical, frightening, or something else? Is it a vulnerability issue or is it just something you INTJs don't enjoy as much as normal people for some reason? Was he wrong to speak for all of you?

Here you go.
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
Well, there's always the possibility that the person you talked to was simply asexual, and his opinions on sex have nothing to do with his type.

Agreed.

I personally don't get as excited in that area unless someone knows how to stimulate my mind. I also don't allow my impulses to control me. So, I do come across more subdued than others.
 

BlackOp

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2008
Messages
211
MBTI Type
intj
INTJs are not non-sexual...they are reserved in their decision. Sex is a complicated situation and one we are extremely aware of. No one can talk themselves out of getting laid like an INTJ...we are the undisputed masters. Is it worth all the static it will bring? I find myself thinking about mutual friends, gossip, the after effects if I find it not working. Many times I decide against out of respect for the person involved...worried I might hurt them unintentionally. We are complex....and it takes a while to make sure it is the right choice. I had a girl booty call me..against my better judgment I took her up on it. I knew there was no future.... a mindless fling that she instigated. Now, she and her circle blacklisted me. I was minding my own business.....Nothing is free.
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hello again-whats your favorite thing about yourself.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
I was chatting online the other night with an INTJ teenager who told me that INTJs were non-sexual. Is this true? This INTJ was at the age where most males experience a peak of sexual interest, and he was saying things like "I might as well not have a penis because I have no desire to use it." How much truth is there to the "robot" stereotype? Also, if it does turn out to be true that INTJs are not interested in sex, does that mean that other forms of intimacy are out? Do you get a rush from making eye contact? Do you feel anything when hugged? Where do you draw the line? If you are non-sexual, what are your reasons? Is it boring, impractical, frightening, or something else? Is it a vulnerability issue or is it just something you INTJs don't enjoy as much as normal people for some reason? Was he wrong to speak for all of you?

I think that's a bit of a misunderstanding. Not from your INTJ; I have no reason to believe he's not telling the complete truth. But in this INTJ's experience, we're as sexual as the next person. Sometimes I'm just a walking raw nerve ending, to be honest. But we construct more obstacles between ourselves and sex than many other types. If you want to find a logical reason to have sex, you're going to come up wanting. It's a passionate, alogical decision, and it requires you to sublimate your intellect in favor of your instinct. That's often not easy to do for an INTJ. But it doesn't mean we don't want it as much, trust me. We just make ourselves jump through more hoops to get to it.
 

BlackOp

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2008
Messages
211
MBTI Type
intj
I think that's a bit of a misunderstanding. Not from your INTJ; I have no reason to believe he's not telling the complete truth. But in this INTJ's experience, we're as sexual as the next person. Sometimes I'm just a walking raw nerve ending, to be honest. But we construct more obstacles between ourselves and sex than many other types. If you want to find a logical reason to have sex, you're going to come up wanting. It's a passionate, alogical decision, and it requires you to sublimate your intellect in favor of your instinct. That's often not easy to do for an INTJ. But it doesn't mean we don't want it as much, trust me. We just make ourselves jump through more hoops to get to it.

Just to embellish....I have the ability (to a certain degree) to predict how the chips are going to fall. I would rather have sex with a stranger...who I have a good, immediate attraction/rapport with. I dont like the idea of strings and its a lot more primitive. Separating church and state. Less thinking about the future........long range relationships are an entirely different animal. INTJs need 4 feet of space on all sides...they invite you closer when comfortable.
 
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