[INTJ] Ask an INTJ

[Tigerlily]

I've never met any female INTJs.

I met one irl but she was a client so I didn't really get the chance to know her well. She was great to work with. No messing around, just got straight to work which was good.

My best friend is an INTJ; he's great. Limey is an INTJ, too. I love Limey.

He's alright.

I get along online well with most of the INTJ males here. Limey has an INTJ male friend and he's having person issues he's dealing with now so they haven't spoken in some time, but I've always gotten along with him. Some of the female INTJ's have a don't fuck around attitude and appear nit picky at least from what I can tell online. Of course as always MBTI is an indicator...

 

[MetalWounds]

I've always wanted to meet an INTJ woman my age.

Especially an Enneagram 8...man that would be fun.

 

[Haphazard]

At times like these you guys seem more uber-fanatical than that of being uber-rational.

The dominant function of an INTJ is not rational at all. (Ni, an irrational function, subjective analysis from a subjective source) Maturity for an INTJ is growing out of always believing that Ni is right and actually looking at what's obviously right in front of them (Te).

Dear INTJ's,

Are male INTJ's friendlier (and easier to get along with) than female INTJ's?

No. It only seems that way because 'females' are supposed to be 'friendly' while males can get away with being less friendly, so it just seems as though the males are friendlier when really they're about the same.

The enneagram confuses me. I've gotten 5w4, 5w6, 8w7, and 8w9. I don't really think either 5 or 8 fits me.

 

[Night]

No. It only seems that way because 'females' are supposed to be 'friendly' while males can get away with being less friendly, so it just seems as though the males are friendlier when really they're about the same.

Can you explain this a bit more?

Seems generalized; I'm not sure I follow your reasoning...

 

[MetalWounds]

I think what Hap is saying is that females are expected, via their social roles, to be more outgoing and friendly than males. So an INTJ female would be perceived as being overtly cold, even if she was no more so than an INTJ man.

 

[Tigerlily]

I think INTJ males are more tolerant than INTJ females. Also women are usually bitchier to one another regardless of their type.

 

[Haphazard]

Can you explain this a bit more?

Seems generalized; I'm not sure I follow...

The stereotype is that women are supposed to be good hostesses, talkative, friendly, emotional, in general Fe. With this social pidgeonholing, men get a little more flexibility.

So this leaves INTJs women out of this loop, and the thing is, they don't care, and they're usually forceful enough to cease being 'cute' like INTP girls can often get away with. But the thing is, they're mostly the same as INTJ guys -- they're friendly if they like you, have strong opinions, crave their independence, and are usually 'moody and disinclined to conversation' unless you've forced them open, at which point it's difficult to get them to shut up.

It's the difference of wearing something green against a green screen and wearing something green against a blue screen. They're both still green, it's just that the background is different, so one appears 'different' and one doesn't.

 

[Night]

Thank you, MW.

I suspected as much. Given the relative anonymity a forum such as this offers (relating to gender), it seems that traditional behavioral expectations might diminish in importance...

I think individual bias/projection is likely a factor in this assessment.

 

[Haphazard]

I guess I'm not counting all the INTJ women who have a chip on their shoulder for being forced into the mold when they were younger. They might be a little more difficult to get along with -- and I'm sure there are a fair amount of them -- but generally speaking, INTJ men and INTJ women are the same in terms of friendliness.

Hmm. Can I just be 5w9?

 

[Kasper]

I think INTJ males are more tolerant than INTJ females. Also women are usually bitchier to one another regardless of their type.

Intriguing statement, foreign concept to me though, I find INTJ’s in general less likely to behave in a bitchy manner or be intolerant of others.

 

[01011010]

I agree. Most of the INTJ females I know, like to mind their own business. Myself included. Female politics is vast battlefield of crazy. I wish to take no part.

 

[Venom]

1. where would i find an INTJ female on a college campus???

2. i swear that i know "social" INTJs... they literally are just diabolical at creating the right perceptions of themselves and gaining the right allies etc. they are I's for sure, yet they use their masterminded ness to much more intelligently get some of the same things the SPs want out of life...

ex: the SP wants to party, get the women etc, yet i know an INTJ who simply is much smarter at getting these things...and he wants THESE things....am i just mistyping?


3. how can i externally tell an INTJ apart from an ISTJ?


4. do you really judge people only on their "capability". ie: sometimes INTJs i know like me fine enough, others seem to dislike only because to them im "incapable" (incapable of what is up to them)

 

[Uytuun]

3. how can i externally tell an INTJ apart from an ISTJ?

I have an ISTJ friend...she always looks totally put together in a refined, feminine, but classic style (you know, matching colours, matching shoes...)...I notice that a lot of girls wear that style. My own style is decidedly more quirky and I probably never really look 100% put together. ISTJs are probably less awkward than we are. Less weird, definitely. But this will clearly remain a tricky thing.

4. do you really judge people only on their "capability". ie: sometimes INTJs i know like me fine enough, others seem to dislike only because to them im "incapable" (incapable of what is up to them)

Could you give me a concrete example?

 

[Haphazard]

Babylon, you sure you're not talking about ENTPs in #2? or ISTPs, for that matter?

 

[Uytuun]

Could be INTJs, though, as the tactical masterminds we are.

 

[Venom]

Babylon, you sure you're not talking about ENTPs in #2? or ISTPs, for that matter?

well i may have typed him wrong:

but i know a self typed physics/engineering weird hillarious inventions Ne dom ENTP .....and the "INTJ" in question is WAAAAAY different.

as for ISTP....this person is 100000% Ni...yet they use all their intelligence for some of the shallowest of things lol thats why im here shocked and asking about it!

he's definatly not an ENTJ...he takes lots of time to recharge, also a lot of his "image" is "built" and not necisarily "real" extroversion...


is this normal or should i say, possible intj behaviour?

 

[Haphazard]

I guess it's possible.

I mean, I like partying and stuff but I don't go after it, I let it come to me. Consequently, stuff like that doesn't happen to me as often as it would to your typical SP, but I do thoroughly enjoy myself when it comes around.

The reason why I ask ISTP is because a lot of people mistake them for INTJs.

 

[Venom]

I guess it's possible.

I mean, I like partying and stuff but I don't go after it, I let it come to me. Consequently, stuff like that doesn't happen to me as often as it would to your typical SP, but I do thoroughly enjoy myself when it comes around.

The reason why I ask ISTP is because a lot of people mistake them for INTJs.

i figure the ISTP is more of a beat of his own drummer and a tinkerer...the "INTJ" i question just has a vibe of wanting to conquer the world...

 

[JustDave]

i figure the ISTP is more of a beat of his own drummer and a tinkerer...the "INTJ" i question just has a vibe of wanting to conquer the world...

That's a stereotype ... of the type. Most have grand schemes but none are as nefarious as most would have you believe.

 

[Haphazard]

That's a stereotype ... of the type. Most have grand schemes but none are as nefarious as most would have you believe.

INTJs in general 'conquer' everything they do, not necessarily the world. What happens with INTJs is that they never tell you anything and they end up having a lot of skills that they acquired somewhere or because they had to do something that really mattered to them.

So it could happen to an INTJ to be like how you describe, it's just unlikely considering most INTJ's social inclinations.