Ask an INTJ

[highlander]

This view may be simplistic, but I consider Se to relate to the direct and immediate input from my 5 senses, including any physical sensations (I'm cold, have a headache, etc.), and even emotions. I can analyze emotions, act on them, ignore them, etc. but the in-the-moment sensation of excitement, sadness, anger, whatever I see as part of Se.

But then everyone would use that function (perhaps equally) which seems contrary to the theory.

[Coriolis]

But then everyone would use that function (perhaps equally) which seems contrary to the theory.

I'm not sure everyone doesn't. Se especially is hard to avoid, since we all take in information this way all day, every day. How well we attend to, integrate and handle it is another matter and will vary significantly by type. To consider the alternative, though, how would someone handle physical sensations like touch, taste, sounds, pain, etc. without using Se?

[Mia.]

But then everyone would use that function (perhaps equally) which seems contrary to the theory.

Bro, have you heard the term sensotard? We Ne users have to concentrate much harder on utilizing and paying attention to the signals of Se... if we're on autopilot ... it gets awkwardly hilarious. Thankfully for me, I'm also an sx 9 which lends an earthy, sensual quality.... so I have something else serving in a compensatory way.... and Ne is my aux..... but still....

[Cloud of Thunder]

Have any of you ever dated an INFJ? If so, what was that like?

[Zarathustra]

Have any of you ever dated an INFJ? If so, what was that like?

I may have, but it was ~10 yrs ago, long before I started studying typology, and I haven't really seen her much since, so I can't be sure. There was something of what I would expect if I were to date an INFJ. My most vivid memories of the relationship were incredible morning makeout sessions in the bright Berkeley light as I was leaving her place. I've had my fair share of great makeout sessions, and every girl I've kissed has always had her own style, but with this one, there was something magical, mystical, mythical. We definitely seemed to connect on some extremely deep internal level, and we would just stand their in the morning light, making out like, well, I guess we were teenagers, but I've never had a kiss where the entire world dissolved quite so much and you felt like you were literally wrapped within the other person's soul. It was like we were two mythic characters experiencing an intended moment together. I dunno, that's kinda what I'd expect in a relationship with an INFJ. I'd also expect us to be weird, though. Really frickin weird. Can you imagine how out of this/in their own world an INTJ-INFJ couple must be?

[RaptorWizard]

INTJs, what are your opinions on other types that use Ni as an auxiliary or tertiary function but are not Ni dominant, such as ENxJs or ISxPs?

[Anew Leaf]

How do the instinct stacking affect your INTJ-ness?

[Daedalus]

Have any of you ever dated an INFJ? If so, what was that like?

I have. I had an INFJ girlfriend for four years. This was before I knew about typology, but cos i knew her very well, the moment I read about different MBTI types I knew without a shade of doubt that she was an INFJ (even though we had broke up by that time).

To be frank , that was the most meaningful relationship I had been so far (we broke up a few years ago). Both of us are dominant Ni users (INFJ/INTJ) so it feels as if we can really understand what the other is saying..in a deeper level. However it also leads to some serious communication issues(which actually resulted in the breakup)

The Dom for INTJ/INFJ is Ni
The Auxiliary for INTJ is Te and the Auxiliary for INFJ is Fe

This is where most issues arise. INTJ's even though very loyal in a relationship, suck at showing affection in (what they consider to be) "worldly" ways. INFJ needs confirmation that the INTJ still loves her, often. Usually INTJ's do not pick up on this because they go by "I did say that I love her, and nothing changed, so I do not have to keep on reaffirming that". (INTJ's Fi probably plays a part in this ).INFJ on the other hand is probably panicking because the INTJ has not said "I love you" often to her after saying it for the first time. The INFJ probably thinks the INTJ is not that really into her anymore...and starts looking for "signs" to back this up. The INTJ, who sucks are picking up feelings in others continues oblivious.

INTJ's also do not like to receive praise/thanks. It makes them uncomfortable. So often enough the INTJ would go ahead and make huge changes to his schedule/plans just so he can accommodate the wishes/plans of his INFJ partner.Yet he will try to hide the extreme lengths he had gone to make her wishes come true, and brushes it all under the carpet by saying something like "oh it was nothing, I didn't have to make any changes to to my plans, so no thanks needed" when the INFJ thanks him for his help.The INFJ then assumes that maybe he merely helped cos it was no big deal. Later on, when INFJ/INTJ misunderstandings arise, the INTJ might think that the INFJ never really appreciated all the help he did, even though he made a lot of sacrifices for her. But the fault also lies with the INTJ because, due to his aversion to receive thanks from people, he was the one who made it sound as it was no big deal(often by simply hiding his sacrifices on her behalf from her entirely)this might result in misunderstanding and breakup...and both share the blame(if it could be called blame) for it.

However, now that I know about typology, I believe that I am more prepared to deal with similar situations in the future. Of all the girls I've met, INFJ's are the one's I feel some instinctual attraction to....It is as if I see something of me in them, and them in me. This something is most probably Ni.

I've had my fair share of great makeout sessions, and every girl I've kissed has always had her own style, but with this one, there was something magical, mystical, mythical. We definitely seemed to connect on some extremely deep internal level, and we would just stand their in the morning light, making out like, well, I guess we were teenagers, but I've never had a kiss where the entire world dissolved quite so much and you felt like you were literally wrapped within the other person's soul. It was like we were two mythic characters experiencing an intended moment together. I dunno, that's kinda what I'd expect in a relationship with an INFJ. I'd also expect us to be weird, though. Really frickin weird. Can you imagine how out of this/in their own world an INTJ-INFJ couple must be?

WoW I only read your post after replying to the same question and I totally second this. You have explained it in much greater detail than I could have, but yes..there is no substituting the INFJ-INTJ experience in my books either.

[Coriolis]

How do the instinct stacking affect your INTJ-ness?

Short answer: both sp/sx stacking and type 5 reinforce many of the usual INTJ attributes. This includes things like detachment, privacy, preference for solitude, contingency planning to anticipate possible problems; but also the desire to connect deeply with at least one or two people (Fi expression?).

[Zarathustra]

How do the instinct stacking affect your INTJ-ness?

I would say that it doesn't affect our INTJness at all.

It does impact who we are/how we come across, though.