Ask an INTJ

[NPcomplete]

Not often.
I don't know. Maybe a hug or a situation applicable word of wisdom but I really enjoy something that takes the heavy depressing feeling out of it

Wow I can't believe I said that.
Do you feel better?
No not really. Do you have any words of wisdom?
Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken".
Better.

Almost never. I'll actually keep it to myself so much that I can hurt the relationship in question by allowing my resentment to sit. It's not a good trait, but it's one that I'll admit I do quite a bit. Most times, if I do voice my fears-- most of which revolve around being either used by a person or left-- the best thing I can hear is "Oh, no. I would never do that." Followed by a list of examples that illustrate that particular point. Refute my anxieties with positive facts and I'll appreciate you very much.

Hugs are also good, too.

Thanks!!


I wasn't sitting beside him when he said that so I couldn't offer any hug. Also, I'm not sure how he would feel about a hug. :P *makes mental note for next time*

I did offer a few words of wisdom and added that I'm afflicted by the same anxieties and then told him what I usually do. I don't know if all this helped though. I mean those fears are constant in me but I try to not get bogged by them and focus on other things. My other INTP friend does that as well.

Do you guys "work" like that too?

[ceecee]

Thanks!!


I wasn't sitting beside him when he said that so I couldn't offer any hug. Also, I'm not sure how he would feel about a hug. :P *makes mental note for next time*

I did offer a few words of wisdom and added that I'm afflicted by the same anxieties and then told him what I usually do. I don't know if all this helped though. I mean those fears are constant in me but I try to not get bogged by them and focus on other things. My other INTP friend does that as well.

Do you guys "work" like that too?

Hmmm...hugs only from close friends/SO's or it gets weird. Is this a co-worker or something? I think what you said was fine though, this would be something I'd like to hear.

[Coriolis]

One thing I cannot tolerate in this situation (or others, for that matter) is anything that isn't genuine. No empty platitudes, no saying something just to fill the silence, or because you feel you should, or because that's what your other friends expect to hear. If you don't know what to say, or can't understand what I've related, or feel bad and wish there was something you could do: just say so. Be honest, and I will reply in kind.

[NPcomplete]

Hmmm...hugs only from close friends/SO's or it gets weird. Is this a co-worker or something? I think what you said was fine though, this would be something I'd like to hear.

I'd say quite close friend given the things we've discussed.

One thing I cannot tolerate in this situation (or others, for that matter) is anything that isn't genuine. No empty platitudes, no saying something just to fill the silence, or because you feel you should, or because that's what your other friends expect to hear. If you don't know what to say, or can't understand what I've related, or feel bad and wish there was something you could do: just say so. Be honest, and I will reply in kind.

I hate it when people do that too so yeah I don't do such things either.

[ceecee]

I'd say quite close friend given the things we've discussed.

Then by all means, let the hugging commence.

[NPcomplete]

Then by all means, let the hugging commence.

Yes I shall smother him.

[Malice]

thanks guys This thread is helping me out so much.

[ThatGirl]

Dear INTJs

When you vent to a person about a problem which you're aware they could never possibly understand or give sound advice on, why do you do this? I find it confusing. Is it to use them as a sounding board to help work this problem out in your own head? Are you looking for sympathy or comfort? :S

I'm more likely to turn the problem into a hypothetical, then ask someone's opinion of the hypothetical. Then I take their words to heart. I rarely speak directly about my specific concerns, there are reasons for this. If I do, it is probably because I am almost 99% sure you will know how to make sense of it and not ascribe any other motive to my observations, stances, concerns, and plans.

I always want to figure something out though. I very very rarely vent just to vent. That makes me feel worse than just keeping it to myself and figuring it out, because now everyone is aware of the problem (negative) and yet no progress has been made (negative).

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear INTJs

When you vent to a person about a problem which you're aware they could never possibly understand or give sound advice on, why do you do this? I find it confusing. Is it to use them as a sounding board to help work this problem out in your own head? Are you looking for sympathy or comfort? :S

I don't know. I can't imagine doing that. First, I always worry about being someone who bitches or whines. I don't like that. Second, if I didn't think the person could help, I don't see myself venting to them.

I know that's not really the answer you're looking for, but it's another INTJ perspective on venting.

[MacGuffin]

How did the ENTJs outclass you all recently on the forum?

They used to be the crazy ones!