• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] Ask an INTJ

sonata

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
iNtJ
What would it take to force an INTJ to realize that a plan or a course of action that they have decided on is failing? It seems like they are more willing to attempt to bend life to fit the plan instead of change the plan to fit life.

For me, it depends how entrenched in the plan I am, and how much time I've spent invested in it. If I have to write a paper and I outline it a certain way, but it isn't coming out right and I have an idea about how it could work better, I'll definitely change it.

However, if the general way that I've been living my life for years and the worthiness of the goals that I've been working for are challenged, it would take a LOT to make me change the course of my entire life. I would "bend life to fit the plan" and sort of try to throw out the challenging evidence for a while. After that, I don't know what I would do at all. Don't want to think about it too much. :D
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
738
...infact i am a stickler for manners but people dont hear my please and thank yous because of my tone of voice. any advice on how i can improve myself? should i just stop working with people altogether?
This is rather super complicated >_<
I'm straight forward too, so i know it's really uber annoying when ppl just can't say things as they are.
I think a good way to fix behaviors is to really look into urself and see if ur not doing some of it, it helps to relate and therefore understand how to fix both urself and the relationships.

The way one moves is also important, but i dont know about u, avoiding eye contact or stuffs like that can be percieved negativly.

Just an idea, i dont really have enough information to have a clear idea.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
hi i am a classic intj and really struggle maintaining relationships...particularly in the workplace. people think im rude and tactless mainy because i ask a straight question and perhaps niaevely expect a straight answer. i get frustrated when people dont do the job as well as i feel it could be done and dont care for small talk or after work socialising. as i am an intj female i struggle to create those female bonds and see the gossip and idle chit chat as draining, irratating and completely uniteresting. however i know that if i am to get anywhere and prevent the constant personality clashes and the hurtful comments that get thrown my way after these then i need to learn how to at least appear tactful and interested in others and their long winded waffling ideas. i really dont want to come across as cold or impolite...infact i am a stickler for manners but people dont hear my please and thank yous because of my tone of voice. any advice on how i can improve myself? should i just stop working with people altogether?

I used to have this problem... but after a while I realized that it was easier to make my plans happen when people cooperated with me. I've learned to try to make mental notes of the things going on in peoples lives and let them in on some of mine. I'm more of a listener than a talker... but there are plenty of people out there who love to hear themselves talk so it works out well.

It may sound 'calculating', but use that INTJ mental filing system of yours to remember at least one key thing about a co-worker that you can talk with them about, and build on it. Try to stop and think before you chime in on group discussions to make sure it won't be taken the wrong way... and laugh and smile a lot, even if you have to fake it!

On days when you can't stand to be around everyone, pretend you're really busy and when people want to talk tilt your head, give a half smile and say 'Man I'm SWAMPED today! We should do lunch when this lets up though'. Then 'answer' your apparently vibrating cell phone with 'Hello?' and mouth 'I'll talk with you in a bit' to your co-worker.

:devil:
 

pockets

New member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Messages
69
MBTI Type
HUMM
Ooh, an agony column. can I ask a question? :)
When INTJs make decisions about people/things, barring significant life-changing events, epiphanies, etc, should silence (in the context of temporarily busybusy schedules) be interpreted as a maintenance of a status quo
Ugh, just realised how conditional and contextual my qn was.
INTJs don't change their minds much do they? That was what i meant.
But with all that introverted intuition, and that internal world, can much change inside without external stimulus?
 
Joined
Sep 18, 2008
Messages
1,941
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
512
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Ooh, an agony column. can I ask a question? :)
When INTJs make decisions about people/things, barring significant life-changing events, epiphanies, etc, should silence (in the context of temporarily busybusy schedules) be interpreted as a maintenance of a status quo
Ugh, just realised how conditional and contextual my qn was.
INTJs don't change their minds much do they? That was what i meant.
But with all that introverted intuition, and that internal world, can much change inside without external stimulus?

(general answer to a general question)
For me, silence means that I need time to process variables and formulate something coherent... Or that I don't care much about the outcomes (e.g. what/where to eat). I often leave such insignificant questions up to someone else.

I don't change my mind much about general/huge things, like where I want my life to go, the ethical principles that I live on, or who I want myself to be. With regards to things that I don't really care about, change and spontaneity can make things interesting.
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
My best friend in high school was an INTJ. I'm an ENTJ. What do you guys really think about ENTJs? Do you normally get along with us? Do we annoy you?
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
My best friend in high school was an INTJ. I'm an ENTJ. What do you guys really think about ENTJs? Do you normally get along with us? Do we annoy you?

My best friend is an ENTJ. I think she can be unneccessarily aggressive when there's no gain in it, but we have a very direct relationship. We can say what we mean easily without offense, and we have the typical NT understanding. Our humor is similar and generally offends most sensibilities. :D
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
My best friend is an ENTJ. I think she can be unneccessarily aggressive when there's no gain in it, but we have a very direct relationship. We can say what we mean easily without offense, and we have the typical NT understanding. Our humor is similar and generally offends most sensibilities. :D

Haha In my experience male INTJ humor is pleasurably disturbing. My friend joined the infantry. I have a lot of respect for INTJs.
 
R

Riva

Guest
tell me the secret behind your willpower.

when it comes to willpower you guys are the best. so what's the secret?
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
The secret to focus is to concentrate on the pain of failure, above the glory of success.

Achievement is great, but liquidity is golden.

and why do people think you are evil? does it bother you?

No -- most people don't think in terms of MBTI when converting observed traits into cognitive pattern. Generally, terminology like 'evil' is too significant an overture to take seriously anyway.

Like rudeness, explicitly negative analysis is often more the result of broken communication than intentional assault.
 
R

Riva

Guest
The secret to focus is to concentrate on the pain of failure, above the glory of success.

Achievement is great, but liquidity is golden.

No -- most people don't think in terms of MBTI when converting observed traits into cognitive pattern. Generally, terminology like 'evil' is too significant an overture to take seriously anyway.

ask an INTJ :whistling:

but the advice on willpower was great. never thought about it in that way. thanks
 
R

Riva

Guest
I am an INTJ.

The ENTP cape is subterfuge!

it was not the cape. :nice:

i have no proof left do i.

anyway i knew something was wrong when it came to your choice of words. i had to refer the dictionary to understand each and every word.

wait a minute, doesn't that make you an INTP?
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
wait a minute, doesn't that make you an INTP?

Possibly - needless complexity/clumsy communication are often xNTP footprints.

Yet, bizarre generalizations are xNTJ territory, so who knows?
 
R

Riva

Guest
Like rudeness, explicitly negative analysis is often more the result of broken communication than intentional assault.

okay now i get this.........

broken communication in ISTPs is exactly the reason i think they sound rude all the time. and sometimes even ISTJs although they don't have communication issue they tend not to say words such as please etc...

i can't say INTJs suffer from any of that. they are quite polite when it comes to their communication. actually well mannered i must say.

(sorry ISTPs and ISTJs i had to drag you into this)
 
R

Riva

Guest
Possibly - needless complexity/clumsy communication are often xNTP footprints.

Yet, bizarre generalizations are xNTJ territory, so who knows?


needless complexity - INTP? i agree

clumsy communication - ENTP? on the forum i guess. not in real life.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
okay now i get this.........

broken communication in ISTPs is exactly the reason i think they sound rude all the time. and sometimes even ISTJs although they don't have communication issue they tend not to say words such as please etc...

i can't say INTJs suffer from any of that. they are quite polite when it comes to their communication. actually well mannered i must say.

(sorry ISTPs and ISTJs i had to drag you into this)

That's coz it's not efficient to piss people off. It delays you as you first have to get along again to get them to do something :D :peepwall:
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,764
That's coz it's not efficient to piss people off. It delays you as you first have to get along again to get them to do something :D :peepwall:

Or you just know so small amount of people that it would not be wise to destroy the link.
 
Top