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[MBTI General] I hate phonecalls. Why?

Pushbeat

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Dec 29, 2012
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I am an INTP, but just a little bit more on the I- than on the E-side. I can go out and have a very lively conversation for 3, 4 hours. People wouldn't think I'm an introvert. However 10 minutes on the phone just completely drains all energy out of me. With anyone. On any subject. I have a ENFJ-friend who can call for up to 45 minutes. Terrible, I communicated that a few times, but I guess that wouldn't stop an ENFJ.

Why does it cost so more energy to call than to talk in real life? Is it the pauses, the lack of other input than voice, is this TiNe, or what?
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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I also don't like them, because I can't check body language...
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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ENFP
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4dw
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Try checking intonation, inflection, rhythm, word order, chosen words and things as sighing, volume, hesitations, speed to indicate nervousness or excitement and youll get the same amount of feedback you would from bodylanguage.

As for me, i hate that i dont have much of a say as to when they intrude upon my peace. If i go out, im focused on that, and it was my choice. Phones interrupt my train of thought, catch me off guard and force me to change my priorities without my consent in an instant which i resent wholeheartedly :smile:

If it is a welcome call i have no issues, my record is 8 hours straight on the phone.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
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Hmm, for business I've no problems with it and can make all the time the customer needs. But for personal use I like my calls short and concise.
 

Il Morto Che Parla

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It's very common to hate phonecalls.

Phonecalls suck because the majority of human communication is non-verbal, i.e. body language and facial expressions, so you lose most of that and your voice and words become fundamental, therefore it is hard to communicate except for a very skilled verbal communicator, hence why telesales is such a difficult, stressful, and by extension skilled and well-remunerated, specialism.

It's not an mbti related issue.
 

Rasofy

royal member
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Because it can easily be worse than texting, as you lose the benefit of having more time to think before writing, and worse than talking in person, since miss much of the non verbal communication.

I think it helps a lot to be able to pick non verbal hints that indicate whether the person is interested in what you're talking, but on the phone you usually can't get any real time feedback - you need to stop talking in order to receive it, and that sucks.
 
S

Society

Guest
Why does it cost so more energy to call than to talk in real life?

you are mentally overcompensating for the lack of facial feedback, facing the subconscious frustration of "inconclusive data, need more input".
 

Pushbeat

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It's very common to hate phonecalls.

Phonecalls suck because the majority of human communication is non-verbal, i.e. body language and facial expressions, so you lose most of that and your voice and words become fundamental, therefore it is hard to communicate except for a very skilled verbal communicator, hence why telesales is such a difficult, stressful, and by extension skilled and well-remunerated, specialism.

It's not an mbti related issue.

I doubt that, I know SJ's and NF's that have no problem at all talking for hours on the phone. The only thing is that is not MBTI related: they are women. Phone operators were and are among the giant enterprises. That is not because nobody calls ;-)

And, I think I'm verbally strong on almost any subject. But not on the phone.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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I'm fine on the phone if I plan ahead, but otherwise I usually feel like it's intruding into my space, and it can go on indefinitely without clear boundaries -- it's harder to excuse myself from a call than in person as "I'm already at home."
 

Il Morto Che Parla

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I doubt that

What do you doubt?

I said a lot of people hate talking on the phone. Not everyone.

If 50% of people don't like talking on the phone that's still a lot.

The only thing is that is not MBTI related: they are women.

Obviusly man, women like talking. Next you'll reinvent the wheel or tell me bears shit in the woods. :=P

Phone operators were and are among the giant enterprises. That is not because nobody calls ;-)

I call all the time out of necessity, doesn't mean I like it.
 

Pushbeat

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What do you doubt?

I doubt that this is not an MBTI issue. I doubt it, because I can imagine that extraverted feelers are less/not affected by communicating on the phone.

You know the story of the bear shitting in the woods? A rabbit got inspired from that sight, hopped next to the bear and released his droppings. The bear looks to the rabbit and says: Do you also hate the blurry dirty stuff on your hair after going to the toilet? No, says the rabbit, I have no problem with that. That's fine, says the bear, graps the rabbit and wipes his rear with it.
 

Jaguar

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I know SJ's and NF's that have no problem at all talking for hours on the phone.

What if I know of some INTPs who rape small dogs. Shall I now claim INTPs rape small dogs? I think not.

As for me, talking on the phone too long can give me a migraine.
I'm usually rolling my index finger forward when I'm on the phone.
I want to move matters along quickly.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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As for me, i hate that i dont have much of a say as to when they intrude upon my peace. If i go out, im focused on that, and it was my choice. Phones interrupt my train of thought, catch me off guard and force me to change my priorities without my consent in an instant which i resent wholeheartedly :smile:

If it is a welcome call i have no issues, my record is 8 hours straight on the phone.
The highlighted is a large part of why I don't like the phone. Even a "welcome" call can come at an unwelcome time. I also don't like the possibility that I am similarly disturbing someone else by calling them. I have no problem with scheduled phone calls, e.g. conference calls at work. I would still rather visit (allows us to do more than talk), or send email (can save to read again later).

Phonecalls suck because the majority of human communication is non-verbal, i.e. body language and facial expressions, so you lose most of that and your voice and words become fundamental, therefore it is hard to communicate except for a very skilled verbal communicator, hence why telesales is such a difficult, stressful, and by extension skilled and well-remunerated, specialism.
Hogwash, at least in the interactions I have.
 

FDG

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I doubt that, I know SJ's and NF's that have no problem at all talking for hours on the phone. The only thing is that is not MBTI related: they are women.

I also know women who hate them (one ISFJ, one ENFP), or at the very least don't particularly like them.

Hogwash, at least in the interactions I have.

He is on average right. If you are purposefully not showing body language, then you may very well be making people uncomfortable...which may very well be your aim.
 

Randomnity

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I doubt that, I know SJ's and NF's that have no problem at all talking for hours on the phone. The only thing is that is not MBTI related: they are women.

Woman who hates the phone here. And I am not an exception. Most people under 30 text more than calling people, IME.

But yeah outdated gender stereotypes aside, the reasons are as others have stated - lack of nonverbal feedback, increased pressure to fill the silence, more stressful/intrusive than in-person conversation, etc.
 

The Ü™

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I hate receiving both texts and phone calls, because it distracts me from whatever else I was doing and it clutters up my inbox.

However, I do like making calls, especially prank calls.
 

Pushbeat

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What if I know of some INTPs who rape small dogs. Shall I now claim INTPs rape small dogs? I think not.

:) But you think that, indeed, a few personal observations are less important than an opinion without any argument at all? I'm fine with that. Opinions are free.
 

Jaguar

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:) But you think that, indeed, a few personal observations are less important than an opinion without any argument at all? I'm fine with that. Opinions are free.

If that's what you got out of my post, put me on ignore. Thanks.
 

ceecee

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I hate talking on the phone but I think years of phone tech support took it to the hate level, it's just exhausting.
 

Il Morto Che Parla

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Hogwash, at least in the interactions I have.

Hogwash?:laugh:

Nonverbal communication represents two-thirds of all communication.[1] Nonverbal communication can portray a message both verbally and with the correct body signals. Body signals comprise physical features, conscious and unconscious gestures and signals, and the mediation of personal space.[1] The wrong message can be established if the body language conveyed does not match a verbal message. Nonverbal communication strengthens a first impression in common situations like attracting a partner or in a business interview: impressions are on average formed within the first four seconds of contact.[1] First encounters or interactions with another person strongly affect a person's perception.[2] When the other person or group is absorbing the message they are focused on the entire environment around them, meaning the other person uses all five senses in the interaction: 83% sight, 11% hearing, 3% smell, 2% touch and 1% taste.[3]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication#Importance
 
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