noise-oholics, calm-ophobes

[kuranes]

even arvo part's 'alina' i want off while i contemplate the online chess board, or write a research paper. for me, complete silence is crucial.

i kind of (sort of) like aphex twin's ambient stuff, but it's still a distraction if i'm making an important decision. and eno i just hate--everything down to his name

But can you get complete silence in your neighborhood ? I know that I often cannot. I can "tune out" distractions if they are a constant drone, but if they are intermittant and alternatively loud and not so loud, i cannot tune them out. Hence music or a "surf machine" etc.

I have just started buying Part.

[Xander]

yeah, i take advantage of immovable obligations, like being on time for work, by indulging just before i have to go in. so i have to cut it short or there'll be bad consequences. what do you do when you "tinker w/ your pc"?

EVERYTHING

I'm known as the bloke who can fix em and crash em with equal fervour

Overclocking, software optimisation, new programs, benchmarks, rewiring, new cooling solutions (not solutions as in summint in water you understand)... all kinds of stuff. I build them, rebuild them and tinker around with them like a mechanic and his car. I'm like a Chav of the PC world

[Wolf]

I don't own a TV. My mother brought a radio, which annoys me. My only outside world link is this laptop right here.

While I will watch a movie every now and then, I couldn't do it daily like my father.

[cafe]

no. what i was driving at is: he's lost touch with himself and his mind is draining (while it putrefies) like cottage cheese sitting in the bath tub. he keeps himself busy and distracted with petty tasks, vacuous pop music, and fantasy in the form of dvd's, so he can remain oblivious most of the time to how awful his life really is. How his family dislikes him, how he's gotten fat, has credit card debt, and is so bad at his job that he has to use his inheritance to pay bills (and his parents aren't dead yet). He's addicted to noise; he's a noise-oholic like the thread name says--it's his opiate. That's what's happening to me--where the last 3 years of my life have gone. It's a bad thing and I want to break it off. so i posted because i was wondering if anyone had a trick to help them keep their own weaknesses in check they'd share to help a nice fellow intp, or, if you're not intp, a nice fellow mbti "enthusiast

What tools do you use to cope with the overwhelming mundanity of having a family to support and care for and the difficulty of making it in today's economic climate? Don't you find it difficult at all to work so many of your waking hours only to find yourself never getting ahead and your own children resenting you, despite doing the best you can and sacrificing your time, energy, and individuality for their comfort and well-being?

[Xander]

Noise-oholic...mundanity...



Get yourself a hobby where you do stuff. Perhaps get one that requires arranging (ie getting mates together) so it has inbuilt limits.

It just seems like you've got excess brain power and instead of using it your tying it up in knots in music. Kinda like passive expression. Try active expression... ooo try singing or playing in a band. Seriously though alter the outlet slightly and it's effects can be radically different.

[terrencemcb]

But can you get complete silence in your neighborhood ?

my neighborhood is ok. sometimes a kid likes to shoot hoops while i'm trying to fall asleep. but most of the unwelcome noise comes from my parents' complaining to each other, which carries into my room. For that i have a pair of silencer ear muffs. they don't block the noise but muffle it, which makes it easier to concentrate, and would be nicer were it not for their firm pressure on my skull, but for me they're better than ambient music i think--which sort of cancels the rest out but also adds a bit to the problem

[terrencemcb]

What tools do you use to cope with the overwhelming mundanity of having a family to support and care for and the difficulty of making it in today's economic climate? Don't you find it difficult at all to work so many of your waking hours only to find yourself never getting ahead and your own children resenting you, despite doing the best you can and sacrificing your time, energy, and individuality for their comfort and well-being?

Hahaha i shouldn't argue this with a parent. of course it would be nice of me to help out more so they could have some time to get ahead. but they don't ask. and i feel it's fine if I don't help b/c if i did--i'd never see a return on that sacrifice of mine. My father would just watch more television. My mother would read more bible. Neither of them are firm enough (at least as of right now) to aspire to something greater than what they are now.

Fortunately i don't have family to support and won't until i'm sure i can do it with fiscal ease, and am pleased enough with my personal development that I can ignore it for the ensuing 20 years while I rear a child or childs.

the thing is with my father--he's not sacrificing anything for his family. he's only looking out for himself, being a fellow NT, and occasionally gives out of guilt. he has a house for himself, and so what if I, the son, keep living there--I doesn't consume very much. I even buy some of my own food. my dad makes lunch for himself, and what's mixing a little extra tuna salad for the others. how much effort does it take to include an extra can of tuna? or an extra egg in the omelette? let someone exist in a room that would otherwise be unused? He spends inordinate amounts of money on things he doesn't need. That's why we don't have any living room furniture. ----->

[Xander]

most of the unwelcome noise comes from my parents' complaining to each other

I think therein lies the heart of your trouble. Perhaps if that were tackled then you wouldn't hide in your music so readily? Perhaps your father too?

[terrencemcb]

.... and individuality for their comfort and well-being?

instead of furnishing a room that could bring the family together, he buys movies that occupy cardboard boxes, antique toys that sit in the basement. and a big screen tv for him to zone out in front of. And our family has never had a vacation. Not one.

I've asked him about his plans, ambitions, that sort, and he says he just want to try to improve at his current job. He doesn't use his degree in film. He's given up his dream of writing screenplays. He never reads. Never does anything constructive. He's a lost cause.

if he was any sort of a worthwhile human being he would level with me, recruit my help with chores so he can get off his ass and look for a job he can actually do. if he really wanted to get ahead he would be taking pains to do so. it's a matter of desire, and here--it just ain't is.

[kuranes]

He's given up his dream of writing screenplays.

Have you tried sympathizing with him about this ? I realize that this wouldn't have a direct effect on the noise your OP spoke of, but it might serve as a sort of temporary "family gathering" in lieu of a special room for that purpose.