[ENTJ] Self Hating ENTJ: learned to STFU

[murkrow]

"Going with your gut" is how ENTJ "comes into their own" but it's also terribly risky business, which is where the thinking has to happen, but if you talk/act too soon you won't be dealing with the situation your gut was pushing you on, instead you'll be dealing with the new situation caused by your impulsive move.

I write that out now like it's some sort of revelation. It may be common sensical but this is an idea that never entered into my head until recently.

Here's some examples of how this has affected me:

misunderstanding the effects of being explosively loud and wordy, or just being straight up rude as the effects of the contents of my argument or argumentative skill.

poorly communicating ideas still in their early stages to people who make quick judgments.

Disappointment with my ability to achieve ideas externally, resulting in more attention being paid to inner world.
This has been so intense that lately I talk much less than I used to and when I do talk it's mostly sarcastic and very uncommitted, the exception being when I am talking to my closest friends (less than 5 people). Now this has had some very positive effects so far as my social condition is concerned, people are simply willing to spend way more time around me than they used to. But this is just the removal of all the crap I was throwing out into the air.

In order to move forward those moments of gut action have to come back but INTELLIGENTLY.

I have tried to dedicate myself lately to learning as accomplishment, and it's been cool! It's nice to learn things from a book at your own pace instead of having to learn it from somebody else at whatever moment they happen to divulge the information (heated argument, third semester, etc.)

but I can't really say that book learning interests me in the way it seems to grab others who can make it their whole life. I do not just settle into the books and live there, the learning itself doesn't satisfy me. It's brain exercise, but I'm no INTP and I don't get the pump. [link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZqfUzax3kE[/link]

Someday I will rise again.

 

[murkrow]

Yes I am aware of the irony.

 

[violet_crown]

"Going with your gut" is how ENTJ "comes into their own" but it's also terribly risky business, which is where the thinking has to happen, but if you talk/act too soon you won't be dealing with the situation your gut was pushing you on, instead you'll be dealing with the new situation caused by your impulsive move.

I write that out now like it's some sort of revelation. It may be common sensical but this is an idea that never entered into my head until recently.

Here's some examples of how this has affected me:

misunderstanding the effects of being explosively loud and wordy, or just being straight up rude as the effects of the contents of my argument or argumentative skill.

poorly communicating ideas still in their early stages to people who make quick judgments.

Disappointment with my ability to achieve ideas externally, resulting in more attention being paid to inner world.
This has been so intense that lately I talk much less than I used to and when I do talk it's mostly sarcastic and very uncommitted, the exception being when I am talking to my closest friends (less than 5 people). Now this has had some very positive effects so far as my social condition is concerned, people are simply willing to spend way more time around me than they used to. But this is just the removal of all the crap I was throwing out into the air.

In order to move forward those moments of gut action have to come back but INTELLIGENTLY.

I have tried to dedicate myself lately to learning as accomplishment, and it's been cool! It's nice to learn things from a book at your own pace instead of having to learn it from somebody else at whatever moment they happen to divulge the information (heated argument, third semester, etc.)

but I can't really say that book learning interests me in the way it seems to grab others who can make it their whole life. I do not just settle into the books and live there, the learning itself doesn't satisfy me. It's brain exercise, but I'm no INTP and I don't get the pump. [link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZqfUzax3kE[/link]

Someday I will rise again.

I relate to all of this. Te-Se is a motherfucker sometimes. The best advice I have is, first, not take it to heart so much. You make a bad call, you learn from it, and you deal with the consequences as you understand them.

Two: find yourself a good consigliere, a person who you trust that you can talk to before acting to get an outside perspective on a situation. Talking to someone before you make a call can be invaluable, and should be a built in step to your mental checklist when making a big decision.

Finally, there's always more wiggle room in response time than your gut will tell you. Taking the time to think and engage that Ni a little will generally give you something more brilliant than your inital Se-driven boneheaded-ness.

I understand setbacks, but like my ESTJ father always says: it's not failing that defines you, but how you deal with failure.

Hang in there, guy!