?

[Rasofy]

I used to say the equivalent of ''like'' and ''you know'' a lot, but I guess I was mostly adapting to the audience.

Since I left college I sort of stopped using those.

 

[Southern Kross]

I've tried to stop doing this ("like" in particular) but I can't; it's too ingrained in my patterns of speech. I even made it a New Year's resolution to reduce it but it didn't work. I've had people tease me about it and I completely realise it makes me sound like an imbecile and I really hate that, but what can I do?

Also, I really don't think a non-native speaker should judge either. You won't be as aware of the reasons behind using so called "useless" words. I find they almost always serve a purpose; they communicate uncertainty, or emphasis, or are an attempt to buy time (to think what to say next), or are an attempt to connect with the other person. True it can be (a bad) habit to a degree but they still mean something.

 

[Ukon]

Yeah...No. Like, if I wanted to sound unintelligent, I'd like, dress up as an ESTJ politician, ya know?

 

[Philosorapteuse]

Sometimes people make things into questions when they aren't? By lifting their voice at the end of the sentence?

Yes, it happens, and is also useless. ?

Sounds like the Brummie Whine to me.

 

[Philosorapteuse]

I dunno. I might take you very slightly less seriously if you punctuate every sentence with "like", but it's the inflection that irritates me more than the word itself. Saying "Yahh" instead of "yeah" annoys me though. Which is unreasonable as that's probably a regional thing, but it makes me think of Sloaney girls in pashminas and ludicrous oversized sunglasses. We've all got verbal tics though. One of mine is appending "If that makes sense" to everything. I had no idea I did this until my mum told me, in very restrained tones, that it *did* make sense and wasn't bizarre enough a statement to warrent the question...

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Written down they're a little annoying. Conversationally though they have their purpose. I met an expat South African lady (living in Australia) who told me she was perceived as a bossy know-it-all who was intolerant of dissenting opinions. People were under the impression that her opinions were expressed in a manner strongly suggesting "This is exactly how it is. I'm 100% confident of this opinion so that's the end of the conversation." Since she didn't feel like this fairly reflected her attitude she dug a little deeper and found that it was simply her speech patterns as a native Afrikaans speaker. So she had to teach herself things like ending sentences on an upward intonation, and adding "know what I mean" etc. After that she had a lot less trouble with being misunderstood.

So yeah these sayings are more about modifying connection than modifying meaning. If you don't want to use them then don't use them, but don't be surprised if people you talk to unaccountably find you a bit of a prat.

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

I used to say the equivalent of ''like'' and ''you know'' a lot, but I guess I was mostly adapting to the audience.

Since I left college I sort of stopped using those.

 

[Redbone]

I do it. Very guilty of "I know, right?" and "I'm hearing you." I try to tone it down depending on who I'm talking with...sometimes. Hell, I don't know.

English has been and always will be a mangled language...no quitting allowed at this late date.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Sometimes expressively in jest, other times with contextual meaning.

There are as many ways one can convey a message, but there are at least as many ways someone else can interpret that message. Communication is a two way process. Useless words, not always useless.

 

[Southern Kross]

Written down they're a little annoying. Conversationally though they have their purpose. I met an expat South African lady (living in Australia) who told me she was perceived as a bossy know-it-all who was intolerant of dissenting opinions. People were under the impression that her opinions were expressed in a manner strongly suggesting "This is exactly how it is. I'm 100% confident of this opinion so that's the end of the conversation." Since she didn't feel like this fairly reflected her attitude she dug a little deeper and found that it was simply her speech patterns as a native Afrikaans speaker. So she had to teach herself things like ending sentences on an upward intonation, and adding "know what I mean" etc. After that she had a lot less trouble with being misunderstood.

So yeah these sayings are more about modifying connection than modifying meaning. If you don't want to use them then don't use them, but don't be surprised if people you talk to unaccountably find you a bit of a prat.

Yeah, this is exactly the sort of things I'm talking about. They can be social lubricant.

BTW my Mum is having problems with her South African migrant bosses right now for similar reasons. Those South Africans are very blunt and assertive people. Not that I blame them for being that way; it's a cultural misunderstanding. I don't think they realise how that comes across in the laid-back, chummy environment of antipodean culture.

 

[SilkRoad]

I hear it less these days, but lots of young(er) people still do it?

Yes, yes they do.

Might be a West coast phenomenon.

I think it's partly West Coast. Although Canadians do it quite widely, I think. I don't do it too much unless I'm having a very Canadian moment. But I've met other West Coast Canadian girls who were much more raised-ends-of-sentences and chirpy (in a rather annoying way...) than me. I've got a deep voice so I'm more...draaaaaawwwwwllllll.

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

I have noticed that INTPs don't have a problem with them and use them themselves... So far anyway.

I actually thought that this was either an NT thing or even an NTP thing - disliking such words. INTPs are said to deconstruct things to details, which is what this is - noticing lingual inconsistencies. It seems like I've been wrong.

I think a P in general is more likely to be open minded, and see that something can have value, even if it isn't perfect.

In my life, I do a lot of telephone selling. There, it's very important to constantly let people know you are listening, so I am constantly saying things like "that's great", "absolutely", "uh huh", "I see what you mean", etc. Maybe they are "useless" strictly from the point of view of conveying a fact. However they are useful in order to build a rapport with the other person.

Even when writing, somebody may wish to engage their audience, with some tangents, some...like...connecting words, to make the text seem more, kind of, conversational, I guess.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE

Ok so kind of an exaggerated example (and again), but you see my point. It depends on my audience and on the effect one wishes to convey.

 

[Southern Kross]

But I've met other West Coast Canadian girls who were much more raised-ends-of-sentences and chirpy (in a rather annoying way...) than me.

Don't ever come to NZ.

 

[SilkRoad]

Don't ever come to NZ.

I've already been. Why shouldn't I come...do they not like drawls?

Anyway, I've lived in London for several years, much of which was West London, so I basically live in NZ anyway...

 

[1487610420]

Words, I mean, they're like, ya know, so useless.

 

[Southern Kross]

I've already been. Why shouldn't I come...do they not like drawls?

No, I mean the rising intonation at the end of a sentence, like it's a question. I do it a bit if I'm around others that do it, but I've met some people that honestly do it on every sentence - that gets a bit tired, quickly. A degree of uncertainty is integral to Kiwi (and to a lesser extent, Australian) culture, for basically the reasons [MENTION=93]JivinJeffJones[/MENTION] described. It's meant to be a social leveller.

Anyway, I've lived in London for several years, much of which was West London, so I basically live in NZ anyway...

From what I've heard, that's pretty true. Probably half the people I know that are in their 20s are living in either Australia or the UK (or have been recently).

 

[SilkRoad]

No, I mean the rising intonation at the end of a sentence, like it's a question. I do it a bit if I'm around others that do it, but I've met some people that honestly do it on every sentence - that gets a bit tired, quickly. A degree of uncertainty is integral to Kiwi (and to a lesser extent, Australian) culture, for basically the reasons [MENTION=93]JivinJeffJones[/MENTION] described. It's meant to be a social leveller.




From what I've heard, that's pretty true. Probably half the people I know that are in their 20s are living in either Australia or the UK (or have been recently).

Oh I get it. I guess I've noticed it a bit in Kiwis, but not to a super-annoying degree. Generally I like the accent.

I think of my "likes" and so on as word whiskers. They can be annoying if over-used, but I think they can be somewhat disarming too.

Being INFJ and reading a lot and all that, I can get a bit heavy in conversation sometimes, so I think it amuses people when I say things like "I was reading Paul Celan, the surrealist hermetic German poet, and he is just like so awesome. The events of the Holocaust instilled a trauma in him which was like, really bad." That's probably a fairly accurate depiction of how I speak, although it's in no way calculated or deliberate.

 

[Lark]

As for speech patterns, isn't a patter a repetitive sequence? I notice the odd meaning and formation of the sentence*. Although, one can argue that I compare them to past experiences of how it was used elsewhere, but I don't see it that way.

* ...And he was like "I'm okay man!" I don't get how "like" is applicable here. It just doesn't fit, however I think about it. I didn't like this ever since I first heard it.

As for annoyance - I do. I believe I've an idyllic need for things to make sense (in this case, logical formulation of the sentences) which derives from my high standards for me and for others.

So what was your implication by that post?

Your posts provide a lot of interesting details about your self.

It interests me in light of what another poster told me lately about people visiting the site and why they werent posting anymore.

 

[Il Morto Che Parla]

Your posts provide a lot of interesting details about your self.

It interests me in light of what another poster told me lately about people visiting the site and why they werent posting anymore.

Please expand.

 

[Lark]

Please expand.

Why its self-explanatory.