[INTJ] Need help from INTJ guys

[Cality]

[Edited at User's Request]

 

[Wolf]

It's hard to say. I might've considered them crazy if I didn't know them much at all.

Personally, there is the potential that I just won't respond for some reason (or no reason). A second might elicit some response from me, though it could easily go either way...


Wait for more to get some kind of consensus, and/or ask at INTJf.

 

[Haphazard]

I don't know about him, but I get a lot of emails that I don't respond to, or even look at. If it was just labeled "Happy Birthday!" from an email address he didn't know, he could have thought that it was a virus or junk mail and deleted it.

There's also that he might not have recognized your name (that happens to me a lot when I get emails from people I haven't seen for a long time -- I'm a face person, not a name person) and he could have thought that somebody he didn't know wishing him happy birthday was creepy. Or, even if he did remember, he could have thought, "Why's this woman sending me stuff? I barely even know her!"

Or, you know, he could remember you perfectly and just think you're obnoxious. Really, in all these cases, the response would have looked the same -- as in, not giving one.

It's already June, so I guess if you're still interested, it's time for another email. What I'd recommend is making the longest, most descriptive subject line ever, using names to make it not look like a virus, and just say that you met him before and wanted to get to know him better. Be straightforward, but don't come on too hard -- otherwise, you'll just scare him off. If it was me, I might actually be curious enough to get out of my house and go meet someone for once.

 

[Haphazard]

yeah, thanks for your advices, guys. I thought he could find this odd and even not remember my name. But I also thought, he could google my name. That's why I intentionnaly put a picture of me on public listing of websites like facebook or such. I thought it could help.


Ok, and why obnouxious? Wierd, odd ok but obnouxious?

I really wouldn't think to look you up if I got an email from someone I didn't know. And also, there are probably several people with your name. I know when I look up my name on google, I get a listing of child neglectors and old dead people before anything about me comes up.

I don't know about most INTJs, but I don't separate people into categories of 'weird' and 'not weird' (I think that's more of an Si thing, anyway). I usually go by if they're easy to get along with or hard to get along with, as in "okay" and "too annoying to deal with." And sometimes first impression an EP with us can be very, very bad.

 

[Haphazard]

No, im the only one baring my name on the web and on facebook!


But, ok. I didn't have any deep conversation with him. I just flashed on him and as an ENXP (but ENFP at times), i just starting asking tons of question about him, his job, where he lives, what he does and so on. I just couldn't help. That all we talked about...

Ouch.

INTJs do not do well with S-type interrogation.

Umm. Good luck?

When trying to talk to him, be very specific about when you met him and what happened and that you'd like to talk with him some more. If he wasn't absolutely scared off by interrogation the first time he might reply.

 

[Haphazard]

yeah.... I wasn't trying to be S-interviewer... I was just trying to mine/gather informations about him before getting further, deeper.. But, ok I might have scared him off and might scare hime evn more with this email... :s

Well, you never know until you try.

 

[Haphazard]

what do you suggest... in the subtitle : anything like hi and his name... ? or even longer : hi so and so from so and so you met there...??

Make the subject as long as possible and use specifics so it can't be mistaken for a virus or junk mail or anything. The body of the letter should be short, sweet, and to the point.

You know, if you found his email online and through a company, it could be a different guy, depending on how common his name is.

 

[Haphazard]

At this point you've just got to write the letter the best you can and send it. Stop worrying, just do.

And you know, if it falls through, there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Don't get obsessed with this one guy. He certainly won't appreciate it.

 

[DigitalMethod]

well, in my mail, I wrote the specific reasons why I want to get to know him, what impression I got from him. I think, my email is appeling... also i re-introduce myself

If your reasons are good enough for him then surely he will be curious and he might act on this, depending on if he is in a relationship right now, and just how curious he is.

Something appealing to me would be like, "Yeah we met before and I really wanted to get to know you because I sensed that we clicked on a few levels." I think that's what most important to me, in a friend, or a partner, INTJs know we are freaks and are rare. When we click with someone it's pretty rare and we try to develop that relationship into whatever it may become. Although maybe that is just me.

How do you know he is an INTJ? Did he tell you or something? INTJ really can be mistaken for other types by the outside observer very easily.

As for you interrogating him, personally I wouldn't mind that - to an extent. The normal, name, age, career would be fine. If he doesn't like his job though, then don't really quiz him on that. Try to figure out his passions or I guess you could call it the "INTJ plan" he is working on, he'd probably like to talk to you about it, unless it's personal. But finding out that would take time anywho.

Good luck.

 

[nottaprettygal]

I'm a little confused about how long you actually knew this guy. Did you just meet that one time?

Personally, I think it's wishful thinking to think that he didn't respond to you because of email problems. I guess it wouldn't hurt to send another one, but I think you should have seized the opportunity when you had the chance.

 

[nottaprettygal]

Sure! I would have if I wasn't already dating someone else at that time!!!

I think that if you got this feeling that you've only had once or twice in your life, then it doesn't matter that you're dating someone.

But if your boyfriend was at the table, that makes things a bit difficult.

 

[nottaprettygal]

do you think INTJs in their 30ies would share this email with close friends or family members they trust? or just keep it for them selves (which i hope!)

Eh. That's hard to say. Does it really matter if he shares it? Personally, I don't think he's going to respond, but I wish you the best.

 

[Geoff]

you got it!

do you think INTJs in their 30ies would share this email with close friends or family members they trust? or just keep it for them selves (which i hope!)

Probably not.. if disinterested they are more likely to just delete it... at least the INTJs I know.

 

[DigitalMethod]

If disinterested I wouldn't tell anyone unless I had nothing to talk about and was like, "Man guess what happened today? I got this crazy email, blah blah". Maybe. It would really depend on my mood, which, meh, is unpredictable really.

If I was interested in the email, then I would only maybe it share it with one or two individuals who were very close to me. Probably not a sister, but I am not that close to my brother so I cannot say much about that. It depends how close to his sister he is. I would ask others because I want their opinions about it, if I was interested. I would want their logic. But then again depending on my mood, I might just reply without sharing it with anyone. Depends on what you wrote, if it was just a light hearted "hey how are you I want to get to know you blah blah" then I might reply lightly back, if it was a lot more deep than that "I want to get to know you because I sensed we clicked", then I would probably think about my reply before I typed it, and maybe ask for other's opinions.

So really don't think about it! I think it would depend on his mood and his relationships with close friends/family, stuff you don't know about, and stuff you cannot predict. Just don't worry about it.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

you got it!

do you think INTJs in their 30ies would share this email with close friends or family members they trust? or just keep it for them selves (which i hope!)

As an INTJ in my 30s, I would never show it to anyone. I would only trust my own judgement for something like this, and I wouldn't want to be subjected to the battery of questions that would arise from sharing this email.

Good luck!

 

[Mort Belfry]

Need help from INTJ guys

Nobody needs that kind of help.

Besides, this guy, he's gay. I just got one of those intuitions you only get two or three times in your life about it. The last big intuition I had was that Kramer was a racist. Not bad, wouldn't you say?

 

[Mort Belfry]

I've just been reading over this thread and out of thirty-three posts, you've made eighteen. You're really obsessed with this guy, aren't you? You don't act this obsessed around him, right?

 

[Mort Belfry]

Obsessed is not the right word, even though i used it. I am just very interested in him. Don't worry, I am not crazy. I have a social life that keeps me busy beside this. And as hapharzard said, they are other fishes in the sea.

And it's quite normal that I answer to a thread that i wrote, isn't it? this doesn't mean, I am that obsess.
Just interested in sharing, answering and reading the posts, just curious... And it keeps me busy on poor day work and a not very sunny sunday.

But if you are a judgmental teen with nothing else to do than criticising and with poor understanding, I think, you should go your own way and not pollute this thread. Considering your weak understanding of the thread and your wrong perception of it, this might be the best thing to do !
Have a nice day!

You're a little defensive as well. I wasn't making a criticism at all, just an observation. There's no such thing as the "wrong perception", that's what perception is.

^^ Typical teenage F response though.

 

[VanillaCat]

So true.

Anyway, move on if you don't get an email. If you do, congrats!

 

[Geoff]

Well sorry, mort belfry for my harsch answer. I just found that yours wasn't appropriate. But, ok...

Anyway, I am just thinking of the different behavior between an ENxP and an INTJ receiving that type of email. Apparently, INTJs wouldn't answer. I think, I would answer. I would google the person, try to get the most informations I could and then answer just for the fun. Just to see the face of the person an step into the unknown, the opportunity and think "who knows..." In the worse case, I would have make a new friend and in the worse worse case, I would have lost my time... But at least, I wouldn't have gone by an opportunity.

Any thought to add to this?

There are lots of type reasons why people might, or might not respond :

-a fun loving one might, as you suggest, do so out of fun
-a duty type (SJ) might do so out of politeness or a society pressure to deal with the inbox
-an inspirational type (NP) might do so out of curiousity
-a playful type might do so out of a desire for some amusement/chance for some *cough* fun (SP)
etc