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  1. #11
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    T doms can tend to look steely eyed. they generally have far less natural mirroring going on with body language, facial cues, etc and very flat affect as a result.

    sp subtypes often tend to be more uncomfortable connecting. feel invaded or invasive more quickly.

    i just think of it is a necessity at times so you can get the information you need, rather than jumping to conclusions. you also have to push your own self into the conversation too if you want to really relate, which requires visually communicating so that you can embody the message and its context. otherwise it's difficult to gauge the context of the relationship/interaction.

  2. #12


    I always make eye contact, especially if someone is going for a powerplay. They want and need you to avert your eyes, so I don't. Most people find eye contact very intense which I use to my advantage since I don't find it uncomfortable at all. It scares people how long I can maintain eye contact sometimes.

  3. #13
    Unapologetic being Evo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    1w9 sp/sx
    ESI Fi


    I can be very bad at giving eye contact...example: with customers, especially complaints from a feeler...It's just too much emotion... I shut down and try to get them away as fast as possible ...pretty much any emotional kind of sucks really, i don't know why I can't keep my gaze at those moments. Even when i'm angry, when other people are sad/crying, when i'm sad/crying, sex...i find it very akward to look at someone during sex unless their face is physically up close to my face...

    and then there's the other side...I hate when i'm talking to people and they don't make eye contact with me. I assume they're not listening and get annoyed for wasting my energy on them. Usually i'm not exuding emotions though, so ironically because i'm not emotional they're think i'm boring ha ha . If they're talking to me in an unemotional way and not making eye contact, I don't know what they're thinking and I probably cannot hear them properly, they have to get my undivided attention by looking me in the eye, I might have hearing problems though lol ... ....its a very complicated hypocritical relationship I have with eye contact. lol.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  4. #14
    FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE Mal12345's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    5w4 sx/sp
    LII Ti


    Eye contact from others is interpreted different ways by different people. For some, eye contact means you are listening to them; for others, it's weird. I rarely bother making eye contact, but when I do, it means I want you to attend closely to some serious matter.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson

    Life is about the journey, because we already know the destination.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2012


    I'm about 50/50 on eye contact.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    9w1 sx/so


    I think I have pretty strong eye contact. I'm full on engaged and focused unless you're rambling about something for too long that I don't care about.

    Which is totally rude.. I know... And I can play pretend for a min but not too long... I can't stop my thoughts or my eyes from wandering.

    That doesn't happen too often tho.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    378 sx/so


    I don't. When someone has trouble making eye contact with me I feel okay unless they look nefarious or something.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  8. #18
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    I usually do okay with it, I think. Unless there is something unusual somewhere else on the person's face. My youngest son's kindergarten teacher had a bump on her nose that I am sure I must have always stared out when I was talking to her and my older son had a science teacher in middle school with unusually crooked teeth. I think I stared at those when I was talking to him.

    My husband, OTOH, does not do well with eye contact. I don't remember it ever being a thing with us. We were weirdly comfortable with each other from the time we met. But he generally looks awkwardly to the side when speaking with people. It's funny because he's comfortable and amazing at public speaking, while I am the opposite, but can talk to almost anyone one-on-one.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #19
    eh cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    4 sp


    I can't make a whole lot of eye contact when I'm the one talking, because then I'll completely lose my train of thought. So when I'm talking, I'll periodically make eye contact and 'check in', but it's not constantly looking at the person while talking.

    When listening, I make a lot of eye contact with the other person, though, because I want that person to know that I'm actually listening. But I think it would be distracting for THEM if I looked at them the entire time they were talking, so again, it's periodically making eye contact; looking down, then looking at their eyes, then down for a bit, then back at their eyes for a while, etc. I don't do the wandering eye thing, looking every which-way.

    And that is because, I find that incredibly, incredibly distracting when other people do that to me when I'm talking. If they're watching people walk into the room, or looking to the left, then to the right, then down, then messing around with their shirt, I frankly don't think they're paying much attention, and their constant fidgeting makes me lose my train of thought.

    I'm aware though that for some people actually ARE listening when they're looking every which-way... it's just not a good combo with me, because I then don't have much interest in continuing whatever I'm saying and/or like I said, completely get distracted and then lose what I was trying to say.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #20
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Savitri View Post
    I don't understand the point of your joke if your making one.
    Two people, like intersecting lines, may meet for a short time and then move away from each other FOREVER, so any awkwardness or anxiety one feels should be crushed, like an Islamic uprising, to prevent it from dominating a little slice of your life. It wasn't directed at you and it wasn't a joke, calm down marm.
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”

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