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[INTP] Attractive Intp Women dating?

moonnx

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and I say "obviously" b/c I get compliments like everyday...well if I go outside.
wait just looked up christy turlington- I'm prettier or just as pretty at that bitch.
 

Pseudo

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I know I'm not attractive to everyone-some people like different types-but thinking about that makes me feel more inferior. Like what's the point of thinking I'm pretty if there is someone else prettier? =/ Like I think I always think it's a joke when I get compliments. And Yes, I would say "okay" or "I know" or nothing at all.

and Lady X- by saying "you look like a normal attractive person" just makes me feel bad about thinking I'm pretty at all- Like saying "you're really not THAT pretty so you need to stop rambling on about it and get a life". I just either feel like the prettiest or the ugliest. But since no one likes me anyway doesn't matter so...



That's the point. No one is that pretty. If you have an all or nothing mentality work on changing that because you are the prettiest OR the ugliest. If the only way you can avoid feeling inferior is by feeling better than everyone else, that is going to be off putting to people.
 

Pseudo

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and I say "obviously" b/c I get compliments like everyday...well if I go outside.
wait just looked up christy turlington- I'm prettier or just as pretty at that bitch.

reeeeeeaaallllly? Every day?



EDIT: you just added that bit about christy turlington. That attitude is what comes across as self centered and obnoxious. It's not going to attract people.
 

Lady_X

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well i asked earlier what you're trying to get out of this thread...venting? advice? what?

because like someone else said it does sound like complainabragging which is hella annoying

my advice to you is to check your ego. realize that what you experience is not as bizarre as you think it is and what you need to do is learn how to handle it.

and yes...stop going on about it...or ask some real questions.
 

chickpea

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reeeeeeaaallllly? Every day?

this girl is really full of herself, but i do think how often you get hit on really depends on where you're living. like in my neighborhood, pretty much if you're a female and not horribly disfigured, you're going to have some guy trying to talk to you if you're outside for a few minutes.

it's definitely not something to define yourself by though, i assume most of the dudes that come up to me have probably tried the same thing on at least a few other girls that day. numbers game and all.
 

moonnx

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Well I it feels like it-At least it feels that way-I'm always on my guard-But since this sounds coneited- I get hit on just like any other girl because you know I'm not that great. There goes my self esteem/confidence. People are so annoying- omg you can;t say this can;t say that- well who cares what I say, right? They're just words.

Lady X mentioned christy turlington- and honestly she isn't some goddess- she looks like the normally attractive people.

And the thing is I don't know how to change this mentality. everyone's tired of it- But when I try to show confidence- it's always said to be coneited- that's why I feel bad saying thank you. This is why I keep telling people I'm a loser- I can't just be normal...If no one's that pretty don't compliment me-everyone is pretty somehow. But that statement just makes me feel worthless- nothing special. Why would anyone talk to me if I;m nothing special?
 

moonnx

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[MENTION=7991]chana[/MENTION]- I'm not "full of myself"- just depressed and trying to make myself feel better. I'm weird and awkward (a loser) and no one else gets it.
 

Pseudo

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Well I it feels like it-At least it feels that way-I'm always on my guard-But since this sounds coneited- I get hit on just like any other girl because you know I'm not that great. There goes my self esteem/confidence. People are so annoying- omg you can;t say this can;t say that- well who cares what I say, right? They're just words.

Lady X mentioned christy turlington- and honestly she isn't some goddess- she looks like the normally attractive people.

And the thing is I don't know how to change this mentality. everyone's tired of it- But when I try to show confidence- it's always said to be coneited- that's why I feel bad saying thank you. This is why I keep telling people I'm a loser- I can't just be normal...If no one's that pretty don't compliment me-everyone is pretty somehow. But that statement just makes me feel worthless- nothing special. Why would anyone talk to me if I;m nothing special?



No one said you weren't pretty. They are just trying to communicate that no one, not even you, is pretty enough to go on and on about it. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. It's good to have positive self image. It's not so good to say things like "I'm prettier or just as pretty at that bitch". Being competitive and aggressive like that isn't attractive.



Take the bolded and replace turlington with you. That's all people are getting at.

If you think we're lowering your self confidence imagine what you do to others by going on and on about how attractive you are and how much attention you get. How lonely you feel for being both pretty and smart. Can you see how that would be a little annoying to other women/people?
 

Pseudo

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[MENTION=7991]chana[/MENTION]- I'm not "full of myself"- just depressed and trying to make myself feel better. I'm weird and awkward (a loser) and no one else gets it.

I get where you are coming from (A LOT of people on this forum feel this way). I think people are trying to give you advice and you are resisting. Choosing to retain your original idea regardless of our input.
 

Lady_X

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Well you proved the point then didn't you.

You don't personally think christy turlington is very pretty even tho she's been making a career off of her looks for more than 20 years.

It's all relative... No one is ever the prettiest to any one person.

And to have your self concept defined by that seems very non intp of you.

You say thank you not because you believe it but because it was nice of them to say so.

You need to learn how to harness your own power and stop giving it to everyone else.

Feel good about the things you value about yourself. That's not something anyone else can give or take away from you.
 

moonnx

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Thanks.

I "resist" because I don't want people to be right b/c it makes me feel like "umm loser, it's very simple...you should know it by now."
idk why I do it. I just want to justify my worrying I guess.
And the thing is If I say someone is pretty is prettier than me I'm fine-but if some else says it I get upset.

"It's all relative... No one is ever the prettiest to any one person.

And to have your self concept defined by that seems very non intp of you"- I'm not sure what this means.
 

Lady_X

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that should've said no one person is ever the prettiest to everyone....eye of the beholder n stuff

and the fact that your confidence rides on your attractiveness is very un intp
 

ajackson17

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That sounds great and it seems like it's okay for a guy to have that kind of mindset. But when a girl starts talking about wanting to take things slow and needing some distance (like there is no reason for 3 hour conversations every night!) and not needing to constantly reaffirm her feelings, it's wrong and she needs to change.

When I get compliments on my outfits, I get surprised because I don't notice other people's outfits and certainly don't feel the need to compliment them on it so I usually say 'okay' instead of 'thank you,' not realizing that they expect me to give them a similar compliment. It's frustrating because I treat guys the way I would want to be treated and some guys find that intimidating. I guess I can be blunt but if I don't cry over every insensitive thing someone says, they shouldn't complain either. According to a friend of mine (who's a lot like me), we're not there to be their moms, and if they can't take it, they need to get lost. Lol guess I babbled too...

Sounds like you need to date a INT like me:D , to me that's the best way for great understanding as long as both are developing sensory and judging cognitive functions, you two will be alright!
 

ajackson17

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reeeeeeaaallllly? Every day?



EDIT: you just added that bit about christy turlington. That attitude is what comes across as self centered and obnoxious. It's not going to attract people.

With black guys, yeah I can believe that everyday part, but she doing the INTP whining.
 

Pseudo

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With black guys, yeah I can believe that everyday part, but she doing the INTP whining.

I've experienced that black men can be more expressive when it comes to this sort of thing but I still don't believe that she encounters cat calling everyday or has people banging on her windows.
 

ajackson17

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I've experienced that black men can be more expressive when it comes to this sort of thing but I still don't believe that she encounters cat calling everyday or has people banging on her windows.

Lol, yeah she just INTP whining a bad quality to have. She just need to chill out and just developed skills to deal with that she is going to always have men try to talk to her.
 

Redbone

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Thanks.

And to have your self concept defined by that seems very non intp of you"- I'm not sure what this means.

Because most INTPs don't give a shit about the opinion of others. It may be considered as data for a hot minute and then dismissed as "irrelevant".

I've read this thread and wondering what is it that you want to know? Most people have some difficulty in dating. Many NTs and NFs (hell everyone at some point!) are going to have difficulty doing the 'dating scene'. You don't have to meet people this way.

And why worry if someone doesn't like you as you are? They are free to not like you but it's sure as hell beats putting on a facade and then getting dumped when the shiny coating eventually falls off. You are free to just be yourself.
 
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Rasofy

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I know I'm not attractive to everyone-some people like different types-but thinking about that makes me feel more inferior. Like what's the point of thinking I'm pretty if there is someone else prettier? =/ Like I think I always think it's a joke when I get compliments. And Yes, I would say "okay" or "I know" or nothing at all.
You're pretty illogical for an INTP.

and Lady X- by saying "you look like a normal attractive person" just makes me feel bad about thinking I'm pretty at all- Like saying "you're really not THAT pretty so you need to stop rambling on about it and get a life". I just either feel like the prettiest or the ugliest. But since no one likes me anyway doesn't matter so...
fishingcompliments.jpg
 

Usehername

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Why does it seem like most everyone except [MENTION=2701]Tallulah[/MENTION] is being a whiny jerk in this thread?

Be nice, people. Life is tricky to figure out. She's just penduluming back and forth until she finds an accurate perspective. http://xkcd.com/1053/ Give her space and time to arrive. We all need to do that.
 
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