[MBTI General] INTP + INFJ

[SilkRoad]

The other side is, of course, is that it's dangerous to draw any conclusions about the accuracy of type descriptions from disgruntled exes.

This, definitely.

 

[Burger King]

So, if A LOT of INFJs are casual about relationships, abrasive, domineering, etc, then either the type descriptions for INFJ are off; or there are a lot of unhealthy INFJs not acting INFJ-like out there (because by and large an unhealthy INFJ would be more likely to become a hermit than to become abrasive/domineering); or those people are not INFJs. (Or typology is a load of rubbish.)

I'm pretty sure I'm an Fi-dom, but your description of the unhealthy INFJ fits me more than the abrasive domineering style. It's worth noting though that I've been accused of being an INFJ at one point, but I didn't agree with it. Also, the thing about the 4. It seems we have different opinion of what unhealthy 4 looks like. I think yours is geared towards a more extroverted sexual first 4. I've known only a few here and there in my life, but they seem to be more withdrawn, pessimistic, maybe feeling a bit entitled due to suffering, kind of elitist, and very ashamed (the thing that led to being withdrawn in the first place). So there's that.

For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg

 

[SilkRoad]

I'm pretty sure I'm an Fi-dom, but your description of the unhealthy INFJ fits me more than the abrasive domineering style. It's worth noting though that I've been accused of being an INFJ at one point, but I didn't agree with it. Also, the thing about the 4. It seems we have different opinion of what unhealthy 4 looks like. I think yours is geared towards a more extroverted sexual first 4. I've known only a few here and there in my life, but they seem to be more withdrawn, pessimistic, maybe feeling a bit entitled due to suffering, kind of elitist, and very ashamed (the thing that led to being withdrawn in the first place). So there's that.

For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg

Thanks, I will have to check out that video later. (I'm bad at typing people that way though!)

For the record, I was obviously a bit unclear in my initial post. I wasn't actually trying to say that it's the unhealthy INFP 4 who does the cold abrasive domineering thing. My main point was just that I think a lot of people who type as INFJ are mistyped. Either that, or the range of INFJ behaviours is a lot vaster than I would have thought...

In terms of mistyping, I think type 4 fits much better for INFP (among others) than it does for INFJs (though I am quite sure there are INFJ 4s as well). And some if not many of the hideous INFJ ex experiences people have had are such that I have to wonder if the ex was INFJ. I'm NOT saying this is because INFJs are all wonderful and would never hurt anyone - but there are behaviours that get attributed to INFJs that just seem very un-INFJ-like, even an unhealthy INFJ. This would make more sense if it turned out that the "INFJ" in question was mis-typing themselves, or had been mis-typed by the person describing them.

 

[Burger King]

^Oh I see. Since we are on the topic of the E, maybe it's because the INFJ fall into a wider range of enneagram types? You've probably already considered that though. From an outsiders perspective I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 9 being strong possibilities for INFJ.

 

[SilkRoad]

^Oh I see. Since we are on the topic of the E, maybe it's because the INFJ fall into a wider range of enneagram types? You've probably already considered that though. From an outsiders perspective I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 9 being strong possibilities for INFJ.

Yeah, I definitely agree that the e-type can give a lot of different flavours. And perhaps more for INFJ than some other types.

I feel like I wrote a lot above but I explained myself badly and didn't really say what I wanted. Plus I derailed the thread.

I don't really want to be one of those INFJs who goes around like "I'm the only true INFJ and everyone else is mistyping themselves..." I do get a gut feeling sometimes though that someone's description of an INFJ is just not INFJ at all. Also, I think I have seen too many INFJ forums and the like where they all sit around chanting at each other "I'm a special broken snowflake. The only thing that another type could reasonably not love about an INFJ is the fact that we can read their minds!!"

 

[Eilonwy]

For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg

I know this was directed at SilkRoad, and I only watched a short bit of the video, but all the "um-ing" and the looking off to the side while talking matches what I do a lot in conversations, especially when talking to an audience (real or imagined) so I would guess that she could be an INFJ. But note that I don't think I'm good at typing unless I know the person well, and even then...well.

 

[Burger King]

Yeah, I definitely agree that the e-type can give a lot of different flavours. And perhaps more for INFJ than some other types.

I feel like I wrote a lot above but I explained myself badly and didn't really say what I wanted. Plus I derailed the thread.

I don't really want to be one of those INFJs who goes around like "I'm the only true INFJ and everyone else is mistyping themselves..." I do get a gut feeling sometimes though that someone's description of an INFJ is just not INFJ at all. Also, I think I have seen too many INFJ forums and the like where they all sit around chanting at each other "I'm a special broken snowflake. The only thing that another type could reasonably not love about an INFJ is the fact that we can read their minds!!"

I think a lot of people feel the same way, but bite their tongues for fear of being "That Guy". I agree with you though. There are people who deviate so much from type descriptions/theory that you wonder why they type that way in the first place. There is a bit of disparity in how people view themselves and how they actually are. I'm certainly not immune to it, so there's that fear as well, of being hypocritical haha.

I know this was directed at SilkRoad, and I only watched a short bit of the video, but all the "um-ing" and the looking off to the side while talking matches what I do a lot in conversations, especially when talking to an audience (real or imagined) so I would guess that she could be an INFJ. But note that I don't think I'm good at typing unless I know the person well, and even then...well.

I'm not really all that invested in that person's type. Just wanted to see if there are any external things, like demeanor, or thoughts, that would point to INFJ. Thanks.

 

[the state i am in]

For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg

istp 5w6 sx/sp. Ti eyes. vocal affectations don't really feel fit the natural Fe mark either.

 

[cascadeco]

istp 5w6 sx/sp. Ti eyes. vocal affectations don't really feel fit the natural Fe mark either.

I'm not sure what I would have typed her as, but agree infj wouldn't have been it. But apparently she really thinks she is one, so... more power to her, I guess? lol.

[I was also cringing at almost everything she was saying about the cog functions. Suffice it to say I don't really identify much with her or how she views and defines the functions and how they manifest in infj's, and the role they play in cognition/self; her presentation of self also doesn't strike me as very IxFJ, but as others have said in this thread, there's obviously variation within type and it's not like it's a science, so... yeah. .]

 

[A_priori]

The trouble with people who form very fixed opinions about their own superiority, is that when they are wrong, they can be very wrong indeed.

The other side is, of course, is that it's dangerous to draw any conclusions about the accuracy of type descriptions from disgruntled exes.[/QUOTE]

This is very true! I think you stop growing as a person when you formulate a belief system which exudes senority over others. Being respected is completely different then being feared. Most of the people I have met throughout my entire exaistance typically have had a relitivly shakey sense of who they really are. I think typogy can be good for some people and really counterproductive for others. I feel this way because I think there are quite a few people who misstype.

 

[sorenx7]

I thought so too. Until she took a major dump on me in the most heinous and mean way. It really was incredible, what she demonstrated. (old work buddy of mine, who I thought was my friend).

Srsly, friendship cannot be judged by type.

According to Sulfit (who is convincing and I'm paraphrasing from another thread,) type and friendship can be definite factors. The example given--INFPs and INFJs think in very different ways. When it comes to explaining something, they're speaking different languages. Arguments keep running in circles and neither will persuade the other. This might be kept in mind if INFPs and INFJs are trying to be friends. (Slightly off the topic, but directly relevant to your statement.)

 

[Salomé]

Pretty sure it's time surfeit told us that INFJs are our benefactors. Just in case we missed it the first 15 times.

 

[cafe]

I always thought INTPs were INFJs' benefactors. I'm just going to pretend that's the case and keep letting my INTP be my sugar daddy.

 

[sorenx7]

Pretty sure it's time surfeit told us that INFJs are our benefactors. Just in case we missed it the first 15 times.

I didn't intentionally bring up someone's name who made inaccurate comments here. The comments he or she made in the other section essentially stating that INFPs and INFJs are from different planets is correct.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I think NxPs are fun and they get me out of my normal zone into some other fuzzy zone where I just sorta wanna kick back and chill. Well, except for INTPs.

When I have talked to the three INTPs (two male and one female) I have known, it seems like the talking could go on forever. I think we are both pleasantly, though quietly, surprised about having met someone who likes to delve deep on an intuitive level; they have someone who respects their wacky notions and can make sense of their Fe deficiencies, and we have someone to challenge us and likes our weirdness.

Yeah, I still just am FLABBERGASTED at that female INTPs treatment of me. I have not heard a word from her since the night she sliced, diced, and roasted me on an open pit. I wonder if she's embarrassed at all.....?

 

[sorenx7]

I think NxPs are fun and they get me out of my normal zone into some other fuzzy zone where I just sorta wanna kick back and chill. Well, except for INTPs.

When I have talked to the three INTPs (two male and one female) I have known, it seems like the talking could go on forever. I think we are both pleasantly, though quietly, surprised about having met someone who likes to delve deep on an intuitive level; they have someone who respects their wacky notions and can make sense of their Fe deficiencies, and we have someone to challenge us and likes our weirdness.

Yeah, I still just am FLABBERGASTED at that female INTPs treatment of me. I have not heard a word from her since the night she sliced, diced, and roasted me on an open pit. I wonder if she's embarrassed at all.....?

In my opinion, there is usually no embarrassment or remorse at all when someone does something like that. The action was likely calculated and cold-blooded.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

But just because it might have been calculated and cold blooded, does it mean she wouldn't have remorse later? I mean, we were friends and I did nothing to her. If she had no remorse, that would mean she could likely be antisocial and I would be shocked as all get-out if that were the case.

 

[sorenx7]

But just because it might have been calculated and cold blooded, does it mean she wouldn't have remorse later? I mean, we were friends and I did nothing to her. If she had no remorse, that would mean she could likely be antisocial and I would be shocked as all get-out if that were the case.

Of course, I don't know the details, but people who used to be your friends can be the ones who end up stabbing you in the back the deepest. In cases like that, remorse would be unlikely. Whatever they're doing is justified in their own eyes.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Of course, I don't know the details, but people who used to be your friends can be the ones who end up stabbing you in the back the deepest. In cases like that, remorse would be unlikely. Whatever they're doing is justified in their own eyes.

Yeah. That is too bad. I really liked her as a friend. I had another friend there as well who hates me now too. That was a very hateful place to work.

 

[sorenx7]

Yeah. That is too bad. I really liked her as a friend. I had another friend there as well who hates me now too. That was a very hateful place to work.

The girl and my last boss have quite a lot in common, actually.