[MBTI General] INTP+ENTJ

[INA]

I can see how it would be a Very Bad Idea for a male ENTJ and a female INTP to pair up.

Maybe it works better flipped.

 

[violet_crown]

I can see how it would be a Very Bad Idea for a male ENTJ and a female INTP to pair up.

Maybe it works better flipped.

I think the general point about gender making a difference in MBTI compatibility is an interesting one, but I'm not sure how accurate your specific example is. I can see a particular kind of ENTJ man enjoying the challenge of an INTP woman, and the potential for a very passionate and kinetic relationship between the two. Based on my observations of INTP women on this forum (or the Ti-dom femme crowd as a whole, really), it would seem they'd require a mate who was equally strong-willed, but who allowed them a fair amount of autonomy. I think an ENTJ guy could easily fit that bill assuming he was grown enough.

As for the flip side of the equation, I feel like the ENTJ women/INTP man combination would be a lot more low key, and probably a lot easier to get off the ground. I feel like my interactions with INTP men have been fairly hit or miss. I've encountered a lot of the same problems that Inari mentioned with them, but have ameliorated that somewhat by learning how not to take the Ti parsing process so personally. I've adopted a number of INTP guys as something like personal gurus. Back when I was in college, there was an INTP guy who was a complete foreign affairs policy wonk, and about once a month I'd come up with a question, pose it to him over lunch, and just let him have at it for an hour or so. When the relationship works, I feel the two just kind of flow into each other while both allowing the other a fair amount of space to simply be themselves.

Having said all that, I've never felt any sorta romantic attraction towards an INTP. I imagine if it were to work out between me and one of them it'd be one of those charming things where we were friends first, and I woke up one day and realized I never wanted to be with anyone else. The simplicity of that imagined life is appealing, but having experienced the similar easy companionship of an INFP male I can say that it just wasn't enough. For now, at least, I tend to prefer INTJs. There's just something a bit more elemental in the chemistry.

 

[INA]

I think the general point about gender making a difference in MBTI compatibility is an interesting one, but I'm not sure how accurate your specific example is. I can see a particular kind of ENTJ man enjoying the challenge of an INTP woman, and the potential for a very passionate and kinetic relationship between the two.

I really can't. If it's one thing that kills my ladyboner it's dogmatic attitudes about anything. ENTJs seem to delight in dogma, and dish it out in spades, and the INTP woman is not likely to be shy about mocking or deriding them for it. It will be passionate, but not in any good way.

. Based on my observations of INTP women on this forum (or the Ti-dom femme crowd as a whole, really), it would seem they'd require a mate who was equally strong-willed, but who allowed them a fair amount of autonomy. I think an ENTJ guy could easily fit that bill assuming he was grown enough.

I don't know if "strong will" is particularly sought after as much as "a spine" and "independence."

As for the flip side of the equation, I feel like the ENTJ women/INTP man combination would be a lot more low key, and probably a lot easier to get off the ground. I feel like my interactions with INTP men have been fairly hit or miss.

Ah. My comment was not any sort of faith in the potential INTP male/ENTJ female dynamic so much as a contrast to the f4il of the flipside. INTP men do seem more docile and passive, so perhaps they deal better with the bossypants. Or maybe y'all are two ships passing in the night.

 

[Salomé]

I really can't.

+1

Even ESTJs are less tyrannical/abrasive.

Blood would flow.

 

[rav3n]

I personally wouldn't date an ENTJ man but that's just my preference. As far as INTP men being passive, that's inaccurate. They're passive-aggressive.

 

[INA]

As far as INTP men being passive, that's inaccurate. They're passive-aggressive.

That's worse.

 

[Fourplay]

Yea i figured...but even you guys ENTP's are easier and nicer to talk to ... it could be that inferior Fe...that's my hang up.

They are so different from me...I'm very quick to disclose information about myself open up to whomever...and they're not lol...that itself makes me annoyed...and i'm sure i'm reading them wrong or whatever...because i'm the one with the problem lol...

here's an example though when i was trying to figure out my enneagram

INTP: "Try reading this link How Enneagram Type Pay Attention, it was very helpful!

Me:"I see that this has some descriptions of socionics...do you think it's the best?"

INTP: "I linked you an enneagram article This article was taken from Helen Palmer's book and she is a known enneagram researcher.

That website has descriptions of MBTI, enneagram, some writing by Jung, and socionics. It's multi-source."

And then it took me like 12 days to respond and i had to have an ISFJ interpret what the person meant...because i took it as him/her saying you're an idiot it's a multi source can't you see that...so my Fi had to sit there...and it did...no difference...still annoyed with that response...i was asking him/her if they thought it was the best link to look at things for learning about sociaonics. gurr..still angered having to explain myself right now...

Me : "I was asking your simple opinion...whether it was a good website for that type of thing or not...obviously its a multi-source. that's all, thanks anyways "

almost every convo i have with an intp gets confused somehow...and i take it personally

You know.. I interpreted it the same way you did. INTP lack of social skills even makes them come off as tactless in real life. I assure you, their infallibility is what they'd like to believe of themselves too. I once asked an INTP what she thought of herself, she told me "elite." It was deadpan. But, I assure you many of them mean well.

 

[rav3n]

That's worse.

Sort of kidding, hence the emoticon. They can be passive-aggressive but they can also be non-passive or aggressive, reliant on context. This is no different from female INTPs.

 

[INA]

. I once asked an INTP what she thought of herself, she told me "elite." It was deadpan. But, I assure you many of them mean well.

She sounds ENTP.

They can be passive-aggressive but they can also be non-passive or aggressive, reliant on context.This is no different from female INTPs.

of course everybody can be anything at some point in time. I wouldn't say the tendencies toward certain behaviors are the same in intp men as women, tho.

 

[Fourplay]

She sounds ENTP.

No, INTP.

There isn't enough context there for you to estimate that. We were even in a business course where MBTI was required and she tested INTP.

 

[INA]

No, INTP.

There isn't enough context there for you to estimate that. We were even in a business course where MBTI was required and she tested INTP.

I'm not estimating it. I'm telling you what she sounds like to me. Anything is possible. For all I know, she could be entj.

 

[Fourplay]

I'm not estimating it. I'm telling you what she sounds like to me. Anything is possible.

Your pattern recognition program must be updated young jedi.

 

[INA]

Your pattern recognition program must be updated young jedi.

Try harder.

 

[rav3n]

of course everybody can be anything at some point in time. I wouldn't say the tendencies toward certain behaviors are the same in intp men as women, tho.

Both biological genders land on a spectrum of behaviours where overarching, is the wariness and need for autonomy. Vulnerabilities revealed take forever but they're a hot button, like nothing else. The difference would be that most INTP women are more in tune with their feelings where most INTP men aren't or as much. As a guess, a socialisation issue, although I wouldn't discount the impacts of testosterone and estrogen.

 

[Rasofy]

My overall impression is it would be an awesome combo for a partnership, but not for a relationship.

Most of them don't respond well to compliments, and also don't seem to bother thanking people.
They reject any kind of emotional support/consolation in order to keep their badass image.
They seem to just bother when people are behaving in a way they don't like (aka bossing around).

Can work, but will require a good deal of emotional intelligence (from both parties).

 

[violet_crown]

I really can't. If it's one thing that kills my ladyboner it's dogmatic attitudes about anything. ENTJs seem to delight in dogma, and dish it out in spades, and the INTP woman is not likely to be shy about mocking or deriding them for it. It will be passionate, but not in any good way.

ENTJs are not so much dogmatic as principled. If something falls into an area that we feel strongly about, we'll have to hear something fairly convincing in order to change our viewpoint. And btw, while, ya'll may be more "open-minded" on overall ideas, you can be just as stubborn (and equally vocal about it) when it comes to something that doesn't sit well with you. So pot/kettle.

Meanwhile, I did say that the guy would have to enjoy the challenge of an INTP woman. Perhaps he would be into someone who was basically unimpressed and able to call him on his bullshit. He'd have to respect her, in other words, and earn her respect in return. I don't feel that scenario to be impossible.

Ah. My comment was not any sort of faith in the potential INTP male/ENTJ female dynamic so much as a contrast to the f4il of the flipside.

Hadn't taken it as anything other.

INTP men do seem more docile and passive, so perhaps they deal better with the bossypants. Or maybe y'all are two ships passing in the night.

As I said, it's hit or miss with INTP guys.

 

[JocktheMotie]

My overall impression is it would be an awesome combo for a partnership, but not for a relationship.

Most of them don't respond well to compliments, and also don't seem to bother thanking people.
They reject any kind of emotional support/consolation in order to keep their badass image.
They seem to just bother when people are behaving in a way they don't like (aka bossing around).

Can work, but will require a good deal of emotional intelligence (from both parties).

AKA "they don't make me feel like a man."

Really? "They don't seem to bother thanking people?" Is that a real complaint? Sounds like you like a more uh...traditional lady. If anything the allure of an NT-NT relationship is how free it can be of the more common societal chains of gender expectations. Like an Ivory Tower with a king sized bed and two sinks in the bathroom.

 

[INA]

ENTJs are not so much dogmatic as principled.

It comes off as dogmatic. To this intp and others.

And btw, while, ya'll may be more "open-minded" on overall ideas, you can be just as stubborn (and equally vocal about it) when it comes to something that doesn't sit well with you.

Exactly why it's not a match. There will be clashes. Ugly, unyielding ones. It's "possible" some unique snowflake of an entj man would dig this. I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

[Salomé]

Sort of kidding, hence the emoticon. They can be passive-aggressive but they can also be non-passive or aggressive, reliant on context. This is no different from female INTPs.

There's quite a big difference. Agree about PA, as I've said before, but you should read the "Passive Men" thread [MENTION=7595]INTP[/MENTION]c, it's a riot.

 

[rav3n]

From my perspective, there are four lynchpins with INTPs, in no order:

• Autonomy.
• Acceptance.
• Understanding.
• Safe harbour (which might be the umbrella term for the above three or at least includes elements of them).

For ENTJs, how does this differ from you, beyond INTPs using withdrawal and ENTJs attempting to control our external environments? Once you figure this one major difference out, INTPs are oh, so similar.