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  1. #11
    Former Republican highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owlesque View Post
    When hyper-sociability, ass-kissing, and general lack of substance are rewarded or acknowledged over quiet diligence, efficiency, and actual results.
    That would do it. Standing up in front of a lot of people and having to facilitate or present has always caused me some stress, though I have done a fair bit of it.

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  2. #12
    I'm not Trunks
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    Anything which I don't see, being ignored, when others try to analyze me, needles..

  3. #13
    Senior Member Froody Blue Gem's Avatar
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    I have quite a bit of insecurities. I would say when someone has a similar talent or niche to me and they are just as good at it or better, I get insecure. It is an opportunity to make a new friend, and talk about how we have the same interests, but off the bat, I may think of how they are stealing my spot in the group. I am aware it's not intentional on their part.

    Or when people perceive me to be not as competent as I truly am.

    Also, I am a very academic person, and if a lot is going on one semester and my grades or I struggle, that makes me insecure. I put a lot of focus on how i do in my courses. I am in the honor society so that adds a little extra layer.
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  4. #14
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I have this terrible assumption that everyone else is trying as hard as I am to be accurate and fair and take all perspectives into account, which not everyone cares to do. Some people simply care to remain comfortable. So when someone critiques me, I assume they've gone through the dozens of chains of thinking, when not everyone has. I end up putting too much weight into their perspective, and its dissonance with my own perspective (compiled from the dozens of people who have genuinely taken the time to speak truth into my life) makes me lose confidence in myself.

    Though maybe this is not an INTJ thing so much as a thoughtful and caring person thing.
    The bolded is something I have faced a handful of times in my more recent adult life and I can say it's been a really big learning experience for me - to have taken these things so to heart when in the end they're the opinion of one or two or three people and many others feel or view things differently. They have shaken me to the core and really undermined my confidence/ sense of self, but in retrospect it's been a good learning experience.

    It's funny, throughout life I have never really been insecure about my abilities - tasks, accomplishments, getting things done, any *deliverables* tied to work have been super easy for me. I don't have doubts about my ability to be able to do almost anything asked of me. However the judgments thrown my way around my character traits in terms of how I come across to people/interact have been the harshest pills to swallow and can honestly really grate on me - so I am insecure when held up to any expectations around exuberance, being really talkative/engaging, 'warmth', 'vulnerable', and a lot of extroverted/nurturing sorts of things, and can be resentful towards any expectations around that. I think this aligns too with the comment in this thread around ass-kissing in contrast to efficiency/performance.

    (for the record, before I knew anything about mbti I first tested as intj; years later I decided infj was a better fit (this was almost twenty years ago). I think whichever it is, I'm a weaker version of the f/t and am pretty balanced in terms of this dichotomy - thus I'm posting in this thread. I also could relate to several of the comments. ).
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #15
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Fear of failing in something you set your eyes on/got ambitious about? Is there a sense of insecurity there if things start to cut close on the border of success and failure for you INTJs?
    I used to suffer very badly from the fear of not being perfect.
    I wasn't afraid of getting a D; I was afraid of not getting an A.
    Thank goodness those days are gone!

    One thing that still makes me insecure is when my supervisor begins describing something new that he wants me to do, that I have never done before.
    On the outside I look calm, but on the inside I am panicking, afraid I won't be able to do what's expected of me.

    Over time, I have learned that no matter what has ever been asked, I always perform that task to everyone's satisfaction, so there's no real need to panic.
    I think it's a natural response because I know INTJs like to be COMPETENT at what they do, so in my mind, my fears and insecurities are playing out because I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.
    Once I've done a thing once, I am much less anxious the next time.

  6. #16
    Mastermind Fieldmarshal Sacrophagus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Fear of failing in something you set your eyes on/got ambitious about? Is there a sense of insecurity there if things start to cut close on the border of success and failure for you INTJs?
    Although they will still seem secure and confident in their competence, that insecurity turns into a subconscious overestimation of the risks that renders the next step very far away or obsolete. That's a catalyst for procrastination and overthinking, not making the perfect move.







    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I used to suffer very badly from the fear of not being perfect.
    I wasn't afraid of getting a D; I was afraid of not getting an A.
    Thank goodness those days are gone!

    One thing that still makes me insecure is when my supervisor begins describing something new that he wants me to do, that I have never done before.
    On the outside I look calm, but on the inside I am panicking, afraid I won't be able to do what's expected of me.

    Over time, I have learned that no matter what has ever been asked, I always perform that task to everyone's satisfaction, so there's no real need to panic.
    I think it's a natural response because I know INTJs like to be COMPETENT at what they do, so in my mind, my fears and insecurities are playing out because I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.
    Once I've done a thing once, I am much less anxious the next time.
    I was exactly like that. Especially the "I was afraid of not getting an A" part. *laughs*


    Concerning the work ethics, I found that the next step to my growth is to let go of that attachment to perfection that only creates performance blockages is to do the task while having in mind that it's okay to fuck it up. As in "It doesn't matter if my work is not as satisfying now. I will learn and make it better."
    It's then more about the opportunity to learn, than the end result.

    It is counter-intuitive, but the more relaxed you are, performing without a care but with intended sagacity, the better results you lock-in, and the faster your savoir-faire grows.
    الخَيلُ وَاللَيلُ وَالبَيداءُ تَعرِفُني *** وَالسَيفُ وَالرُمحُ وَالقِرطاسُ وَالقَلَمُ
    Swift steeds, dreary nights, and the desolate wasteland, all know me full well
    As do the sword, the spear, the paper and the pen.
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  7. #17
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    Can secure feeling get conscious for this type?

  8. #18
    Junior Member Connoisseur's Avatar
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    How I am perceived by other people. Performance anxiety.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Magnus's Avatar
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    Looking stupid. It's fine to not know something. It's even okay to admit not knowing something. Because you can always learn about it.

    But I've lost actual sleep over being wrongly perceived by others as incompetent.
    Repeat after me: "Wocka, wocka, wocka". See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?

  10. #20
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    Security is an illusion when there is so much uncertainty. It is said that doubt increases with knowledge.
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