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  1. #1
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Sep 2009

    Default are certain people just unhealthy?

    some are born with disorders, are some people just plain unhealthy? I been talking to A LOT of people online and in person and the results are exactly the same. I have very unhealthy personality traits and it's something I can't seem to fix. It is what I am.

    What would you do if you were born with these traits? do you suffer and live or do you hide(fix) yourself so no one will know the true you.

  2. #2


    i think, you think2much =P
    Last edited by WALMART; 07-26-2012 at 04:08 AM.

  3. #3
    right on the left wing Philosorapteuse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    I fixed myself. Well, am in the process of fixing, anyway. It's not about "hiding" yourself necessarily. You may not be able to change your basic wiring. I don't think an INTP is ever going to change into an ESFJ, nor should they. But you can change how you express it, and your attitudes to things. I have no sympathy for people who whine that "I can't help being an arse to people, it's just how I am". If you really really want to, and put in the effort, you can change. It's hard work and demoralising, for sure. But it's possible. I'm way less of an arrogant, self-righteous empathy-free twat than I was seven or eight years ago, and it's largely due to effort on my part.

    I had to take people's criticisms of me, and fit them into my mental framework before I could start doing something about them. F/ex, telling me that "it's nasty to be tactless" had no effect on me whatsoever, because I just didn't really see why anyone could be justified in objecting to my manner when I was clearly in the right. All that said to me was "Other people are stupid and irrational, and there is no reason I should compromise. They should toughen up." Appealing to a in immature T-dom with heavily F-based reasoning was just never going to be a runner. In order to start productively working on that trait, I had to find a way of rooting that judgement in a principle I held dear. For me, that was consistency, and it linked to a different criticism, namely that I took criticism ungraciously. On a long hard look in the mirror, that was true, and I never could seem to do anything about it. But bringing those two things together made it work - I reacted badly to criticism because, little as I wanted to admit it, it hurt me. And I disliked it when others reacted badly to my criticism. I wanted others not to throw a wobbly when I said what I thought, and I also wanted them to be less harsh in their criticism of me.

    The obvious solution was: courtesy and consideration must be extended to everyone, including me. Which is the conclusion that people saying "You're being mean" wanted me to come to, but in retrospect it was never going to take root in my immature-INTP head until I could put it in my own terms and make it fit nicely into my mental framework.
    "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." --William James

    I'd be a card-carrying sensotard, but I can't find the goddamn card.

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