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[INTP] Could my marrige with an INTP be saved?

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
INTP men are often of the variety of men who are indeed cold and emotionally unavailable yet are attracted to warm feeler type females.

An old relative of mine told me quite long ago that the person who feels the least and loves the least in a relationship tends to be the one who holds the most power in the relationship. Looking back at the INTP men I have known, I think they unconsciously like having power over people and they tend to be able to also unconsciously spot (bad Fe-related) the kinds of emotional/vulnerable people who would be easiest to covertly control with their indifference. I also think that INTP men tend to not understand themselves or their own desires very well at all and so most would be inclined to deny that they do indeed like having power over people.

Strangely enough, I think INTP men can also be easily controlled by the right kind of woman. Usually the sort of woman who really does not like them very much initially or eventually and at the deepest level is not that emotionally involved with them. They will stay in bad relationships with these kinds of women forever it seems. ISFJ women often seem to end up figuring out how to control INTP men after getting a certain amount of heartache from them but this opening poster is probably not an ISFJ or other factors are preventing her from establishing control.

Most INTP men are simply not worth it unfortunately. Unless they have matured considerably beyond what is usual for their type (given their excessive thinking yet weirdly poor self knowledge), they seem to always be in some kind of sado-masochistic relationship loop with others not unlike what ESFJs often get into.

I think there is a lot of truth in your post. But although I have always had an easy time recognizing weaknesses, and regularly find myself to be really interested to try and help those people. I have always refrained from getting emotionally involved with such people, keeping myself at a distance. And my ideal romantic partner is a strong and smart woman from whom I can potentially only learn from. Not someone I can control.

I don't see how an INTP can purposefully enter such a relationship as you describe without reserve unless they are themselves on some levels unhealthy, or indeed immature as you put it.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Apparently... it is. Either that or there are a lot of bastards running around claiming to be INTPs just to give us a bad name.
You should look into that Fluff.

There's this place called INTPcentral...
 
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