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[INTJ] Common INTJ Issues

exact

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It turns out that it is common that:

INTJs have issues.
Others have issues.
Some people have issues with INTJs.

Who would have thought it?

An insightful thread.
 

Coriolis

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I probably wasn’t very clear with that statement, I apologize.

If this is the MO, people pick up on this, and reflect it back. The INTJ then has a choice about whether to declare that everyone else is the problem in this scenario, or whether they are the common denominator and perhaps it is their approach that needs refinement.

INTJs have a very unique process and perspective as well as a natural and in many ways admirable ability for detachment, and therefore it’s not unlikely that they will be misunderstood a great deal of the time. When talking about people’s reactions, it isn’t intended that people will be warm, fuzzy and “get” them all the time. But if people are consistently running away, avoiding, hostile, or completely checking out in the presence of the INTJ, this is useful information for them to take into consideration in development.
No need to apologize. I just always prickle a bit when someone mentions using reactions of others as a yardstick for our own development or personal qualities. I don't object in principle, and find the infrequent feedback I do get can be useful; I just get so little of it. Can I assume, then, that if I am not seeing the kind of negative behavior you list (avoidance, hostility, checking-out) that I am probably doing OK???

I knew an INFP awhile ago who seemed unable or unwilling to recognize that she was the common denominator in the many life situations she frequently complained about: job, neighbors, local area, etc. She would find another job, move to another city, but things never seemed to improve. Of course the only thing that was a constant was herself.
 

Mia.

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No need to apologize. I just always prickle a bit when someone mentions using reactions of others as a yardstick for our own development or personal qualities. I don't object in principle, and find the infrequent feedback I do get can be useful; I just get so little of it. Can I assume, then, that if I am not seeing the kind of negative behavior you list (avoidance, hostility, checking-out) that I am probably doing OK???

I think it is just one tool for assessment. There are lots of other indicators and ways of quantifying and quantifying development, of course.

Personally, just going by your posts, which I've always found very enjoyable to read, I'd say you have little to worry about in that area.

I knew an INFP awhile ago who seemed unable or unwilling to recognize that she was the common denominator in the many life situations she frequently complained about: job, neighbors, local area, etc. She would find another job, move to another city, but things never seemed to improve. Of course the only thing that was a constant was herself.

Yes, INFPs can absolutely be prone to this as well. The FiNeSiTe mind can remain woefully mired in preoccupation with self and create self-serving and reinforcing paradigms if no effort is put into growth, or worse, individual choices in reaction to event/environment opt towards regression.
 
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i am actually very biased towards INTJs, my father and a few of my best friends growing up where INTJs... still, i'll try, and please keep in mind that this is based on the INTJs closest to me and not derived form known INTJ cognitive tendencies, and thus might not be applicable as generalizations.

  • can be very devoted to their passions while being very negligent with aspects of themselves, their health and their own well being, which is a big problem considering how much pressure they can sometimes take out of situations. i wonder if a higher percentage of INTJs die of heart atacks and high blood pressure...
  • can be exceptionally dodgy after making mistakes in their conclusions and reframe it as - and this is a notion that i have noticed repeatedly and still find amusing - "the knowledge's fault" - the knowledge they got of the situation was vague or a few pieces of it where distracting, the framing wasn't clear, it wasn't built up in their minds in an obvious enough way, the needed presumption wasn't on the wall, etc'.
  • humor is often limited to "secret languages" with those closed to them. i think this might be a way INTJs use to strenghen bonds but perhaps unaware of the social affect, when an INTJ jokes with me on something that only i would get but they aren't aware of how rude it would be to everyone else if i'd let myself laugh out loud
 

ez78705

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"Common" INTJ Issues??

Extroverted Feelers usually complain that I never talk about how I feel.

Introverted Sensors usually complain that I'm non-traditional.

So I guess it depends on who you ask. ;)
 

INTP

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Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others.

my INTJ friend is quite often baffled by why people do the things they do, so i guess the reading intention isnt an INTJ thing, but something that INTJs are can be good or bad at like other types
 

exact

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my INTJ friend is quite often baffled by why people do the things they do, so i guess the reading intention isnt an INTJ thing, but something that INTJs are can be good or bad at like other types

My friend, I think by intentions the above poster meant honest/dishonest, good/bad. Not the logical course of action; we all know that many actions are not intentional but mere serendipity.
 

INTP

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My friend, I think by intentions the above poster meant honest/dishonest, good/bad. Not the logical course of action; we all know that many actions are not intentional but mere serendipity.

intention = reason. reason is the logical course of action, which naturally includes the good/bad etc things, at least if you simplify it to those.
 

exact

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intention = reason. reason is the logical course of action, which naturally includes the good/bad etc things, at least if you simplify it to those.

Oh hush, stop being silly and re-inventing language as you go.

Accept that sometimes the good people of the public might have a point.

It would make you look dignified to do so.

Like my exceptional tie.

<----[Exceptional Tie]

Note: you also have a very correct point; INTJs do not tend to understand 'why' people do things; its a foreign concept through their looking glass. Kudos for that apt summary.
 

INTP

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Oh hush, stop being silly and re-inventing language as you go.

Accept that sometimes the good people of the public might have a point.

apparently you disagree with analyzing intention being the same thing as figuring out why someone behaves the way they do. could you give an example where the intention of someone is different from the reason why he does what he does? i cant figure out any examples, but it might be because im bit tired
 

exact

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apparently you disagree with analyzing intention being the same thing as figuring out why someone behaves the way they do. could you give an example where the intention of someone is different from the reason why he does what he does? i cant figure out any examples, but it might be because im bit tired

Careful now; that is a different use of 'intention' as you gave in Post #26. And indeed, in this instance the correct use of 'intention'.

Anyway, the INTJ 'should' understood if someone has good or bad intentions in their actions even if they cannot understand why they act the way they do.

I think we now have fine consensus upon the issue.

How marvellous! Pumpkin pie for everyone in the thread!
 

INTP

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Careful now; that is a different use of 'intention' as you gave in Post #26. And indeed, in this instance the correct use of 'intention'.

Anyway, the INTJ 'should' understood if someone has good or bad intentions in their actions even if they cannot understand why they act the way they do.

I think we now have fine consensus upon the issue.

How marvellous! Pumpkin pie for everyone in the thread!

its not a different use of intention. it wasnt defined that this INTJs reading intentions was only being able to figure out emotional motives behind actions/whether someone means well or not.
 

highlander

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Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others. (Am I being rude etc?) A common INTJ issue this is?

I actually think I'm pretty good at this - at least when I'm with a person face to face. Ni you know.
 

Mia.

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I actually think I'm pretty good at this - at least when I'm with a person face to face. Ni you know.

I would wager the sx stacking might assist with regard to which INTJs have naturally higher propensities for this.
 

Coriolis

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My version of this is that I can often determine what someone is trying to accomplish, even if it is a hidden agenda, but won't always understand why they want to do THAT. Thus, I can discern plans/intentions more than the reasons behind them.
 

uumlau

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81099203-b361-429c-bc48-5ac998f196b6.jpg

That is, I believe, a cat-ass-trophy ...
 

Nicodemus

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That is, I believe, a cat-ass-trophy ...
Combining the three kinds of the sublime: in its catness, the noble, in its situational comedy, the splendid, and the terrifying in this your verbal classification.
 

foreveryoung

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But anyway, sometimes they have really good insights into other people, and sometimes they are having Ni/Fi tunnel vision with Te oversimplification, and they are so used to being "right" that they can't see how wrong they are, or what they're missing,%

Wow, so this is what they call it. I agree with the Ni/Fi tunnel vision with Te oversimplification. This has been causing a lot of trouble for me...
 
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WhoCares

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My biggest issue is having nothing in comon with 90% of the people I meet. I'm fine to communicate, socialise and keep my arrogance in check. But when it comes down to shared interests I'm at an absolute loss because I'm into a lot of interests that other people find socially reprehensible. Namely crafting....making stuff. It's what really old retired people do....apparently. :doh: i should probably channel this into some high-brow intellectual interest like architecture, fine art or antique collecting but the simple fact is I love making mundane and obscure stuff with my hands. Admitting that you're a crafter is a bit like saying you've got herpes or leprosy. No-one wants to know.

The other big problem I have is my general lack of connection with the outside world. Most of the time I'm oblivious to what or who is around me. My failure to pay attention to someone when they think I should be trips me up a lot. I am iften quite shocked when someone around spits the dummy. I'm like....wtf was that about?
 
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