JocktheMotie
Habitual Fi LineStepper
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Seems like a man-whore and a shameless flirt. Wouldn't take his attitude towards you too seriously in that light. Do with that what you will.
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[ENTP] Ness and The ENTP final conclusion advise.
- Thread starter Ness
- Start date
Lols leave him alone, he's not on the Ne flirt train!! his got social anxiety really bad, think of him as an INTP high on caffine. Im closing the door on this guy. I might miss out I might not but I can't fight what I am, sadly I am a person that misses out on things.
V
violaine
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WRT the hair touching... What if he was just lonely that night? And as he thought you were asleep, he just wanted to feel close to someone in the moment? Some people are like that. I would take much stronger notice of what he says and does when you are direct with him. I think ENPs are nothing if not moment to moment.
(And if you wanted to find a reason you should give up hoping something will happen, well, what if the next few years are just like the last few months? Where he is on stand-by for his ex but emotionally entangled with other women? And can basically tell you "never" but he is so alluring to you that that might not really get through? Or what if you were with him eventually, only to have his ex or someone like her come around and captivate him? I know I probably sound negative and harsh but I'm just trying to put an outsider's spin on things. I'm INFJ as well, and something I've noticed in INFJs is the fatal flaw of thinking the subtext holds the most weight. (And thinking we just didn't communicate well enough at a particular moment). Regardless of how you guys have interacted in the past, he has chosen to go another way. And that's all you can know).
(And if you wanted to find a reason you should give up hoping something will happen, well, what if the next few years are just like the last few months? Where he is on stand-by for his ex but emotionally entangled with other women? And can basically tell you "never" but he is so alluring to you that that might not really get through? Or what if you were with him eventually, only to have his ex or someone like her come around and captivate him? I know I probably sound negative and harsh but I'm just trying to put an outsider's spin on things. I'm INFJ as well, and something I've noticed in INFJs is the fatal flaw of thinking the subtext holds the most weight. (And thinking we just didn't communicate well enough at a particular moment). Regardless of how you guys have interacted in the past, he has chosen to go another way. And that's all you can know).
V
violaine
Guest
Good for you. There are a lot of fantastic guys out there who won't leave you wondering.
Totenkindly
@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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Romantically? Context, dear. Your cues meant one thing, his cues meant another.
An adult should have some sense or inclination about how others might perceive their behaviors, even if they're different. In this culture, doing what he did is typically reserved for family or romance. It doesn't matter what he meant, half the country is introverts and he needs to realize how it can be perceived.
Thank you for your great advise. 
It will be hard at first but after a short time I will forget all about it.
From this point on I will be straight up front with him and any more funny business and I'll tell him to stop. He's a good guy I don't think he will not all the time he has to sort out his ex issue. After that if he tries I'll remind him, he said never to me, and make him chase me so hard!
I think maybe lots of other women will be after him and he considers me to be a very good friend ( I don't consider him that way) and may not want to ruin that. By all means carry on and discuss whats sorts of things an ENTP does in thease situations
It will be hard at first but after a short time I will forget all about it.
From this point on I will be straight up front with him and any more funny business and I'll tell him to stop. He's a good guy I don't think he will not all the time he has to sort out his ex issue. After that if he tries I'll remind him, he said never to me, and make him chase me so hard!I think maybe lots of other women will be after him and he considers me to be a very good friend ( I don't consider him that way) and may not want to ruin that. By all means carry on and discuss whats sorts of things an ENTP does in thease situations
S
Society
Guest
"this culture"? when did we decide that [MENTION=15107]Ness[/MENTION] is american?
S
Society
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Thank you for your great advise.
It will be hard at first but after a short time I will forget all about it.
just remember that his flaw is his ex issue
Totenkindly
@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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Does it really matter? You seem to be the master of the tangent here.
S
Society
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it can. i.e. i know that a lot of what i came from given israeli culture - which are common to medetereanian cultures in general - was found to be unaccaptable in canada... i can stroke a female friends hair, a peck on the cheek, a hug, or even a "move along" or "go get them" slap on the ass, and it wouldn't be romantic or even sexual in israel, but in canada that is boardering beyond what couples are allowed to do in couples. and between man its even more different - if i don't manhug or give an 'israeli kiss' (one on each cheek) to friends in israel i would be rude, but anything more then a handshake wasn't apriciated exactly by my canadian in-laws...
so yes, it matters: maybe her ENTP is spanish, greek, italian, turkish or even israeli, maybe she is but is too introverted to be comfortable with the gestures of her own culture... we don't know.
Totenkindly
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I don't know. I'm aware of cultural differences, but it was clear that she -- at the very least -- read it as stepping into her private space, since she read it in a particular way, which was confirmed by various other examples that she also read similarly (according to her).
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Totenkindly
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Society
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Have you talked to the cat?
(maybe the cat's mad at him too!)
that's brilliant! [MENTION=15107]Ness[/MENTION] - put them on the spot. when you all socialize together - with him, his ex and their friends, ask them why they aren't together. ...there's going to be an answer, worms might come out of the can, and it might help him clear his head in either direction.
Well it kind irrelevant now, but I would think from his point view he would be torn between feelings of hurt and resentment over what she did and feelings of loyalty and love which are difficult to just witch off, when the person is still in your life.
There is also the difficult situation of having to build a new friendship based relationship, if that’s is all he wants
This must be very consuming for him. For the 5 months when she was no where to be seen he was doing very well and even developed an interest in me.
The ex effect is like gravity its hard to ignore and more so when they are everywhere you go texting several time a day.
Although he reads like text book ENTP MBTi is of Corse only the very base of person, what’s to be noted about this guy, is that he does suffer from social anxiety and so the people that make he feel at ease and except him as his, like me are very dear to him.
Also a little unusual for ENTP is that he settled into a serous relationship very young and spent 7 years with that girl. Now approaching 30 his for the first time in his life he is single and open to new opportunities. I don't think he was flirting with me the sake of it at all, I would think he genuinely was interested there was a definite spark and we are very compatible (most ENTP and INFJ are) plus we have lot in common we seem to fit. However I don't expect that interest to remain all the time that
1. I’m ignoring it and 2. His ex is on his case and his life
As for me ignoring it for so long well that’s my fault for thinking too much and I’m sure his un-reciprocated efforts would have dented his ego
I would think an ENTP in this scenario would quickly switch off and move Ne Ti are somewhat emotionally detached and also keen on new opportunities. Point 2. Well that’s exactly why I didn't act.
It’s a very tight nit group of friends they have been toghter since high school and are more like family. Having come into the scene via has best friends and moral social 'glue' of the group the ENFJ he may at the moment see more as part of the friend gang. This is still an honour its self
There is also the difficult situation of having to build a new friendship based relationship, if that’s is all he wants
This must be very consuming for him. For the 5 months when she was no where to be seen he was doing very well and even developed an interest in me.
The ex effect is like gravity its hard to ignore and more so when they are everywhere you go texting several time a day.
Although he reads like text book ENTP MBTi is of Corse only the very base of person, what’s to be noted about this guy, is that he does suffer from social anxiety and so the people that make he feel at ease and except him as his, like me are very dear to him.
Also a little unusual for ENTP is that he settled into a serous relationship very young and spent 7 years with that girl. Now approaching 30 his for the first time in his life he is single and open to new opportunities. I don't think he was flirting with me the sake of it at all, I would think he genuinely was interested there was a definite spark and we are very compatible (most ENTP and INFJ are) plus we have lot in common we seem to fit. However I don't expect that interest to remain all the time that
1. I’m ignoring it and 2. His ex is on his case and his life
As for me ignoring it for so long well that’s my fault for thinking too much and I’m sure his un-reciprocated efforts would have dented his ego
I would think an ENTP in this scenario would quickly switch off and move Ne Ti are somewhat emotionally detached and also keen on new opportunities. Point 2. Well that’s exactly why I didn't act.
It’s a very tight nit group of friends they have been toghter since high school and are more like family. Having come into the scene via has best friends and moral social 'glue' of the group the ENFJ he may at the moment see more as part of the friend gang. This is still an honour its self
