[ENTP] ENTPs: when was your existential crisis?

[Society]

ENTPs: how old where you when you had your [first] major existential crisis?

 

[A window to the soul]

ENTPs: how old where you when you had your [first] major existential crisis?

I was around 19, living in Austin, pursuing a EE degree from UT. I was driving in the rain and the excursion ended in a horrible car accident; I couldn't even tell where I was bleeding from. While I was in the ambulance being transported to the hospital, I dreamed about things I'd never done; including my first kiss. I was living for my parents. I hated UT. I hated Austin. I hated EE.

That was the first day of the rest of my life. I re-examined the potential opportunities that lay before me and determined what really suited me best. I guess you could call it a difficult time, a turning point, that was a blessing in disguise.

 

[EcK]

I dont know. When I entered preschool?
What is an existential crisis anyway. It seems like a very vague and dramatic movie-esk way to say 'reality check'. (which is itself a kind of flowery way to talk about the ebbs and flows of particular sub currents in any complex system. Yes I have a quite, hum, specific vision of what simplicity is)

 

[Society]

wow... hope you came out ok.

for me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side... at all really, which brought a lot of emo narcissism and disproportionate angst out of me, and then when i was 18, my father died, my sister and mother needed me, and for the firs time i was not the center of my world, the first time other people where more important to me then... well, me.

 

[EcK]

for me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side...

[MENTION=15291]Mane[/MENTION] : I was a pretty emotional child. Not an F mind you, I don't think anybody who knows me would even suspect an ounce of Fi on me. Though I d be interested in eventual opposing feedbacks. At least I double and triple checked my confirmation bias but ofc the observer and the observed are but one thing so there s only so much I can do. I think my F is pretty developped for an entp(not to confuse with being fluffy) (ush [MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION] ). But so is my Ti and I dont base much decisions on Fe stuff. Well its obviously not as simple as that but I m not exactly planning to write my biography.
As a teenager constant use of what some people call doublethink led me to a state akin to nihilism. Until I had to learn to do shit.
Then a year ago I was kicked in the nuts quite violently. so i pretty much turned my life around. not that i expect to get a prize for it.
thats what comes to mind at first (low resolution)glance

 

[EcK]

wow... hope you came out ok.

for me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side... at all really, which brought a lot of emo narcissism and disproportionate angst out of me, and then when i was 18, my father died, my sister and mother needed me, and for the firs time i was not the center of my world, the first time other people where more important to me then... well, me.

should I assume you re going through another existential crisis?

 

[Society]

should I assume you re going through another existential crisis?

interesting. why?

 

[A window to the soul]

I dont know. When I entered preschool?

My preschool stories would probably make you cry.

What is an existential crisis anyway. It seems like a very vague and dramatic movie-esk way to say 'reality check'. (which is itself a kind of flowery way to talk about the ebbs and flows of particular sub currents in any complex system. Yes I have a quite, hum, specific vision of what simplicity is)

Check it out, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisis.

wow... hope you came out ok.

I did! It was one of the best things that God allowed to happen to me; after I came out of the emotional period of "why did this happen to me," I seized the day. [It was initially a traumatizing experience.]

I transferred to Texas A&M University. I got accepted into their business school and went the Management Information Systems route. I had some of the best times of my life there.

or me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side... at all really, which brought a lot of emo narcissism and disproportionate angst out of me, and then when i was 18, my father died, my sister and mother needed me, and for the first time i was not the center of my world, the first time other people where more important to me then... well, me.

Touching story. I can relate to some of it.

 

[EcK]

interesting. why?

No reason. asking.
you created the thread after all. so there s a possibility someone around you or yourself are subject to such a thing or considering the notion of dramatic change at least

 

[Society]

you created the thread after all.

i created the thread because when i was reading this thread, i was just about going to tell her "no! crush him, let the boy bleed emotionally a little, it will eventually be good for him", but then i asked myself - "wait, is 16 too young for an existential crisis?" and then i was curious about when did other ENTPs had theirs... so here's the thread asking that question.

but if you are really bored or find me that fascinating feel free to research me and get an actual answer to your question

 

[Society]

I did! It was one of the best things that God allowed to happen to me; after I came out of the emotional period of "why did this happen to me," I seized the day.

you made an awesome use of it.
curious: are you generally religious or was it a spiritual period/change following the event (or am i reading too much into the wording)?

Touching story. I can relate to some of it. I bet you came out of that stronger.

I did.

...then again there's the fact my ex-wife reminded me of my father, taking Freudian psychology into a really weird direction...

so... yes, a little fucked up, but stronger

 

[Winds of Thor]

ENTPs: how old where you when you had your [first] major existential crisis?

I was 14. I was in 7th grade middle school in a class with a girl who, at first impression, I disliked a bit. I thought she was a bit arrogant. Then one day she said something to me across the room and I instantly fell this rush come over me and my entire being transformed. I was in love. I fell Hard. What in the heck had happened inside?! was the feeling. I don't even like her. I felt dragged around by my heart for like 5 years in love with this girl. She had a couple boyfriends through the years and I always felt broken hearted. It sucked. The life out of me.

I lost all direction. I hurt constantly and grew hopelessly to not care about a lot of things I think I would have had I not fallen for her.

 

[Winds of Thor]

wow... hope you came out ok.

for me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side... at all really, which brought a lot of emo narcissism and disproportionate angst out of me, and then when i was 18, my father died, my sister and mother needed me, and for the firs time i was not the center of my world, the first time other people where more important to me then... well, me.

That's terrible. I feel for you. What growth happened inside you having served your mother and sister?..What difference did that make?

 

[funkadelik]

As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career and a family when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?

I've come to terms with the fact that when we die, that's it...and there's a bit of comfort in that. I don't fear death anymore because of that time in my life. I'd actually go so far as to say I'm a more well-rounded person for it. I value close friendships and showing people I care more than I ever have. I pay attention to those sorts of things more often. As long as I don't over-philosophize, I'm good...and I've mostly channeled that philosophizing energy into science and math, which makes me feel more fulfilled than I could express.

 

[Winds of Thor]

As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?

^^Man, I'm so sorry. I cry for you.

 

[Rasofy]

As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career and a family when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?

I've come to terms with the fact that when we die, that's it...and there's a bit of comfort in that. I don't fear death anymore because of that time in my life. I'd actually go so far as to say I'm a more well-rounded person for it. I value close friendships and showing people I care more than I ever have. I pay attention to those sorts of things more often. As long as I don't over-philosophize, I'm good...and I've mostly channeled that philosophizing energy into science and math, which makes me feel more fulfilled than I could express.

You're so brave. I'm sorry that you have this disease, but it seems this difficulty contributed to make the mature and humble woman you are.

 

[Society]

That's terrible. I feel for you.

first of all - i am 27 so that stuff happened 9 years ago... any pain and grief left is dealt with in a way that isn't separable from my personality or who i am, your scars become part of your face and you forget that they are scars. since i am not experiencing it as pain and grief on any regular basis in a raw form regarding this, it doesn't provide much of a reason to feel for me right now.

What growth happened inside you having served your mother and sister?..What difference did that make?

its a huge part of what made me who i am., honestly i have no idea how to actually summarize that into a few lines and it would take me the entire weekend of none stop writing to even start describing it... so just a little (in little fonts so it won't take over the thread):

like i said, other people became more important to me then me, that was the point i started seen my mother as.. well, a person, i had nobody to blame for anything anymore and couldn't afford being a brat, and generally it was a wake up call on many levels, gave me a sense of proportions, simply having a responsibility i can't run away from or dodge was completely new to me, and ironically it also made me more self involved in some ways, because the sense of surprise at the fact i wasn't only ok with it but flourished under it was key to the curiousity leading to developing my self awareness and inner exploration (possibly i wasn't a type 4 before that), not to mention having my father's property development company on my head which already had the investment in it but wasn't even off the ground when he died, the whole thing was his one man show... and don't get me wrong, this isn't some boy genius story with a born-in business degree, i was a stupid 18 years old with no experience who was way over his head and made countless mistakes, i got scammed, ripped off, the company even faced legal charges for awhile, but the thing is pulled through, and within two years the company was running like a well oiled machine with a few specialized outside contracts aiding me, and nearly nothing for the CEO to do - enough for my mother to handle the point she started recovering, which was just about as long as the army was willing to wait before they drafted me. just from that side, i gained the confidence that no matter what happens i can always get on my feet, i can always figure things out, solve any problem or overcome it's consequences, i became more optimistic then a cynic, and extremely secure in my competence. with my little sister who was 7 at the time my father died things where a little bit more difficult, i was a hybrid brother-father and not really ready then for the later, and i really screwed up in dealing with her tween years by not knowing when to be her friend and when to be an authority figure, but all of that gave me a lot of the experience for when i would become a father and fall for a single mother years later (who three months ago became my ex-wife but that's besides the point). i can go on and on about the whole thing...

 

[Rhapsody]

Okay, so I am not an ENTP, but my best friend from high school is an ENTP and she had her major existential crisis at age 16. Like some of the other posters in this thread, hers was triggered by a) getting her heart broken by a significant other (probably the first boy she ever really fell for) and b) realizing she was living for everyone around her but not for herself. At the time it happened it sent her spiraling into a crippling depression, but she's definitely a much stronger (and I'd say happier) person now because of it.

 

[A window to the soul]

you made an awesome use of it.

Thx.

curious: are you generally religious or was it a spiritual period/change following the event

Spiritual.

(or am i reading too much into the wording)?

No, you're not reading too much into it. You're close. I just don't feel comfortable talking about all of it now.

I did.

...then again there's the fact my ex-wife reminded me of my father, taking Freudian psychology into a really weird direction...

so... yes, a little fucked up, but stronger

Funny. Did you admire your father?

 

[Society]

Funny. Did you admire your father?

very much.

No, you're not reading too much into it. You're close. I just don't feel comfortable talking about all of it now.

hmm, i'll try not prompting you to talk about it more then you want too - so instead of an open question i'll just ask whether it was there before or whether the existential crisis a trigger to spiritual seeking (since it was for me, for awhile anyway)....