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[INTP] INTP Women

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Apparently I am one of you. Does this mean I'll never find love now being a cold, damp fish? Also, tell me a bit more about myself. Do people generally like me? Or are people nice to me out of fear? Or better yet, because they have ulterior motives to steal my model ships and unfinished thesis on the big bang theory??
 

Helios

Member
Joined
Dec 28, 2008
Messages
273
MBTI Type
INTP
I had a conversation with an INTP woman of comparable age to me once. It was weird.

Hope that helps.

Good choice of username, by the way.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Thought you were an INFP? What happened to change your mind?
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Apparently I am one of you. Does this mean I'll never find love now being a cold, damp fish? Also, tell me a bit more about myself. Do people generally like me? Or are people nice to me out of fear? Or better yet, because they have ulterior motives to steal my model ships and unfinished thesis on the big bang theory??

Were you a cold fish when you thought you were INFP? Did people like you then? You're the same person. *is confused*

Yes, people fear/are intimidated by me at times. Half the time I freakin' love this, and half the time, I'm frustrated by it. COMPLEXITY! Yes, it's harder to find someone you're compatible with, as an INTP woman. But again, if you didn't have trouble before, as a self-diagnosed INFP, things shouldn't change now because your letters did.
 

ZPowers

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
1,488
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I used to know an INTP girl. We got on pretty well. We found each other funnier than most people found us. She really didn't get involved in relationships so much, but not because she couldn't (she was intelligent, funny, and quite pretty), but because she didn't want to.

I guess it depends what people are looking for in a partner. If someone was someone bubbly or brainless, yeah, maybe that ain't you. But a lot of folks are also going to be into people more like you. Probably gonna be a similar story for any type. Just like that girl I know, it probably comes down to if you actually want to be a "damp fish" or not.

As an INTP guy, I'd say some people like me, a lot of people don't really get me, nobody fears me. I guess some guys are intimidated by certain kinds of women, but other than that I'd guess it'd be the same for anyone.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Thought you were an INFP? What happened to change your mind?

Well my friends made me retake the test on different sites after having an epiphany that I must be a T, rather than an F. Tests all say INTP. I argue extensively that I am not an INTP, I just function like one and am actually an INFP and this is alll nonsense.

After some deep critical thought I realize that I must be an INTP. May I present the following evidence:

-I am distant and cold when meeting people
-I analyze the fuck out of everything and force it into my own bizarre logical frameworks
-If something doesn't fit into my framework I can't accept it and my world is thrown upside down
-I make my decisions based on what makes the most sense (weigh pros and cons)
-I feel deeply uncomfortable with decisions based on feeling
-I in general feel uncomfortable with my feelings and other peoples feelings
-I am rather critical of feeling types and am often emasculating men around me if they fall in such a category
-I am hardly ever attracted to any men around me, and when I am it is because they have deft and pitiless logic or are very efficient
-I have very little tolerance for incompetence; in fact I loathe stupid people
-I feel incomplete and distraught when I am around stupid people
-I can't have blind faith in anything; must have logical validity or some sort of evidentiary support
-All my best girlfriends are NTs

I don't know how many INFPs share these traits.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Well my friends made me retake the test on different sites after having an epiphany that I must be a T, rather than an F. Tests all say INTP. I argue extensively that I am not an INTP, I just function like one and am actually an INFP and this is alll nonsense.

After some deep critical thought I realize that I must be an INTP. May I present the following evidence:

-I am distant and cold when meeting people
-I analyze the fuck out of everything and force it into my own bizarre logical frameworks
-If something doesn't fit into my framework I can't accept it and my world is thrown upside down
-I make my decisions based on what makes the most sense (weigh pros and cons)
-I feel deeply uncomfortable with decisions based on feeling
-I in general feel uncomfortable with my feelings and other peoples feelings
-I am rather critical of feeling types and am often emasculating men around me if they fall in such a category
-I am hardly ever attracted to any men around me, and when I am it is because they have deft and pitiless logic or are very efficient
-I have very little tolerance for incompetence; in fact I loathe stupid people
-I feel incomplete and distraught when I am around stupid people
-I can't have blind faith in anything; must have logical validity or some sort of evidentiary support
-All my best girlfriends are NTs

I don't know how many INFPs share these traits.

All that's pretty textbook INTP, IMO. Why might you still be holding onto the INFP label? What in the INFP description appeals to you or resonates with you? Is it because you perceive Ts as cold and don't want to be perceived as cold?
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Were you a cold fish when you thought you were INFP? Did people like you then? You're the same person. *is confused*

Yes, people fear/are intimidated by me at times. Half the time I freakin' love this, and half the time, I'm frustrated by it. COMPLEXITY! Yes, it's harder to find someone you're compatible with, as an INTP woman. But again, if you didn't have trouble before, as a self-diagnosed INFP, things shouldn't change now because your letters did.

I've always had difficulty finding a partner, although when I was younger I was a lot less critical of potential partners and more willing to explore their souls. Now it's an accomplishment to make it past a 2nd date. I regularly reject men all the time and for no good reason really. They're all great, but I find deficiencies. I really need someone who can challenge my thoughts and keep me on my toes. Apparently that's hard as hell to find.
 

Moonstone3

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
182
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
9, 5
INTP women are complex. And competent. From what I've seen, men stay intrigued because they can't figure the INTP out.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
All that's pretty textbook INTP, IMO. Why might you still be holding onto the INFP label? What in the INFP description appeals to you or resonates with you? Is it because you perceive Ts as cold and don't want to be perceived as cold?

It's a combination of things.

1. I am very creative. I am a talented writer and am able to express myself very deeply and poetically at times in my writing. To me I always saw this as an INFP thing. Also, I'm very very into fashion and expressing my individuality. I've worked as a fashion stylist and freelance write, however I am a law student now.
2. I'm really into strange idealistic stuff like chasing dreams, self improvement, such as Tony Robbins programs, meditation, energy reading, astrology, tarot cards, etc...
3. I do have a very very strong emotional charge and have often believed myself to be bipolar, although my doctor continually diagnoses me as not.
4. I have strong values that I hold very closes and they empower me more than anything, like being kind to others, and equal rights and opportunities for all.
5. I'm just silly and strange and loving, although I reveal this to very very few.

The very first time I did Myers Briggs I tested INTP and didn't feel it fit too well. After I started getting INFP I was like zOMG this is me!

Is it possible I changed? Can types change? Or have I always been an INTP in denial because I never saw myself as some sort of mad scientist/logician type??
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
It's a combination of things.

1. I am very creative. I am a talented writer and am able to express myself very deeply and poetically at times in my writing. To me I always saw this as an INFP thing. Also, I'm very very into fashion and expressing my individuality. I've worked as a fashion stylist and freelance write, however I am a law student now.
2. I'm really into strange idealistic stuff like chasing dreams, self improvement, such as Tony Robbins programs, meditation, energy reading, astrology, tarot cards, etc...
3. I do have a very very strong emotional charge and have often believed myself to be bipolar, although my doctor continually diagnoses me as not.
4. I have strong values that I hold very closes and they empower me more than anything, like being kind to others, and equal rights and opportunities for all.
5. I'm just silly and strange and loving, although I reveal this to very very few.

The very first time I did Myers Briggs I tested INTP and didn't feel it fit too well. After I started getting INFP I was like zOMG this is me!

Is it possible I changed? Can types change? Or have I always been an INTP in denial because I never saw myself as some sort of mad scientist/logician type??

Hmmm, well, it could be either or both. It could be that the descriptions skew toward INTPs being so empirical and sciencey that they don't allow for the exceptions and individuality. I have a lot of interests that are typically associated with NFs, including stuff like self-help, meditation and yoga, etc. I always liked fashion and art and music and theatre much, much more than math and science. I've been in various creative pursuits all of my life, and would feel utterly incomplete without them. But I'm still a Ti dom. And everyone usually has strong values, to a certain extent--but Fi is usually pretty hard to ignore. I'd recommend going back through and reading some of the old Fi vs Fe threads and seeing which you relate more to. Not that all INTPs are strong Fe users...but you'll get an idea pretty quickly of how strongly you relate to being a Fi dom.

I think sometimes we change as we grow and experience more--sometimes we really settle in more on what we always knew we were, and then sometimes we realize that what we thought we were before was due to wanting to be seen in a certain light. It's individual, I guess. An ISFJ friend of mine tested as INFP in high school because she had this ideal at the time of being the kind of person who believes in standing up for something and affecting change. When she read those descriptions years later, she realized that while she has those qualities, the diagnosis was really more "this is how I wanted to see myself."

And you could be closer to the middle of the road on the T/F continuum.
 

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
I think one should be careful citing interests as a clue to personality. It depends on a lot things, and often very strongly on environment and maturity of the individual. For many years I would have listed "sports" as an interest of mine, simply because I was raised in a family and cultural environment that demanded that you find this interesting. So I sort of convinced myself that I did (I'm a E-9, by the way, so maybe this is less of a problem for you non-9 INTP). Only recently did I realize that if I could give a rats behind about sports.

Despite being an INTP, I have lots of home-maker/creative interests. Like: gardening, making furniture, painting, playing instruments and singing, cooking, and sewing. I don't think those things signal well that I am or am not an INTP. I would never have had the patience on my own to learn piano, but I was forced into 10 years of lessons so it's a part of me now. The only thing I would say is that INTPs (and maybe ENTPs as well) tend to have a lot of interests.

It's sort of like how jobs/careers are often sort of stereotyped into types, but as my original counselor that typed me pointed out, different aspects of the same job appeal to different personalities. I enjoy my job as a physicist because dude! I get to figure out how the world works - I love model building and the "architecture" aspect of discovery. Whereas an ISTJ might be more interested in setting new limits on our understanding of physical laws or something.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I guess it depends what people are looking for in a partner. If someone was someone bubbly or brainless, yeah, maybe that ain't you. But a lot of folks are also going to be into people more like you. Probably gonna be a similar story for any type. Just like that girl I know, it probably comes down to if you actually want to be a "damp fish" or not.

The select few that have been into me were because they saw me as intelligent, articulate, witty, tough, and classy.

Then again, I intimidated the ENTJs because of my social skillz, and the INFP guy loved me because I was also whimsical and passionate, in my own way.

But a lot of guys seem to be into other things. Someone who affirms them in more the typical male-female pattern, with established lines of who does what in the relationship. I don't feel like I am intimidating, but I think a guy needs to feel very secure in who he is to deal with me, just on a personality level. I just want to relate to him on the same level, two people laid bare and not ashamed just being themselves, with no pretenses towards who's in charge, who's better at something, etc.

I already figured out long ago that there would only be a small collection of guys who would be compatible with me, and who I could respect and be love-crazy over myself.

Anyway, it just is what it is, I guess. We are who we are.

tallulah said:
I think sometimes we change as we grow and experience more--sometimes we really settle in more on what we always knew we were, and then sometimes we realize that what we thought we were before was due to wanting to be seen in a certain light. It's individual, I guess. An ISFJ friend of mine tested as INFP in high school because she had this ideal at the time of being the kind of person who believes in standing up for something and affecting change. When she read those descriptions years later, she realized that while she has those qualities, the diagnosis was really more "this is how I wanted to see myself."

That whole paragraph bears repeating.
In red.
So I did.

Funny how often many of us have to take the "long way home" to end back where we started.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
[MENTION=2701]Tallulah[/MENTION], [MENTION=7]Jennifer[/MENTION] Jesused you.
 

gmanyo

sswwwaagggg
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
275
MBTI Type
ENTP
Myers Briggs is not an end all. Keep that in mind. No matter what your type, people are different, so it's hard to say what one specific person will be like.

That being said, I've noticed that many INTP girls aren't particularly good looking, but it's mainly because they don't try. They're good looking naturally, but they don't seem to bother to dress up much, maybe because they just don't care.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Myers Briggs is not an end all. Keep that in mind. No matter what your type, people are different, so it's hard to say what one specific person will be like.

That being said, I've noticed that many INTP girls aren't particularly good looking, but it's mainly because they don't try. They're good looking naturally, but they don't seem to bother to dress up much, maybe because they just don't care.

Yes--there's still a lot of room for individuality. I enjoy looking pulled together. I used to watch a fashion show on CNN back before everyone became fashion-obsessed again. But then in INTP spirit, when there's social pressure to be fashionable, it becomes boring. I like clothes, hair and makeup only on my own terms, and as a mode of self-expression. You'd never type me as INTP based on appearance alone.

I will say that while INTP women may enjoy people finding them attractive, sometimes it's off-putting, because we know what they find underneath is not the typical girl, and we want them to like us for all our quirks, not just because we're cute.
 

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
I will say that while INTP women may enjoy people finding them attractive, sometimes it's off-putting, because we know what they find underneath is not the typical girl, and we want them to like us for all our quirks, not just because we're cute.

I've had to explain this to my boyfriend, who has asked "why don't you USE your beauty like other women would?" -- this was a question that didn't make sense to me for a while, like, how exactly would I use my good looks? Hi I'm pretty now give me stuff? I'm sure it would come off really awkwardly if I tried. My external body just doesn't make up a bit part of my internal "me".

That said, I do sometimes like to dress to be noticed. I have that capability, and I enjoy fashion and making my own clothes and such. Far more often though, I dress not to be noticed. Who wants to get hit on at the grocery store? Or really anywhere where you have these anonymous interactions? I mean, hell, this is why I LOVE self-checkouts. So often I end up in the slouchy pants and t-shirt, big sweater, hair undone, no makeup, and a particular "go away" look on my face. People do not look at you the same. It's kind of freeing.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Myers Briggs is not an end all. Keep that in mind. No matter what your type, people are different, so it's hard to say what one specific person will be like.

That being said, I've noticed that many INTP girls aren't particularly good looking, but it's mainly because they don't try. They're good looking naturally, but they don't seem to bother to dress up much, maybe because they just don't care.

I wish I didn't try. My life would be easier and cheaper. I don't know why I try since I never meet anyone I like. I guess I enjoy unreciprocated fanfare.
 
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