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[MBTI General] Emotional Manipulation

Emotional Manipulation


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    35

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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If I'm depressed, or in a rut, I appreciate someone close to me like my SO or a good friend trying to tug me out of it. Often straight reasoning won't do the trick, and it takes a pep talk or even shame session that appeals to my own ideals and how badly I'll feel later if I don't get off my rear and move on. Not sure if this counts as emotional manipulation, but it is the closest thing I will tolerate, and only from people who know me well. Otherwise it either goes over my head and I parse the manipulation attempt as a Te input, or I recognize it for what it is and shut it down pronto.

Because I am 28 years old and I can tell you that those people who plan carefully never come to action and those people who are the action never plan carefully
I'm at least as old as andante, and can assure you there are plenty of NTJs who both plan and act. It's why our actions tend to be so effective.
 

CzeCze

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I read the first page and last two - what's your def of emotional manipulation? Or did you already mdefine it? The way the question is set up its like asking "who likes being taken advantage of?" it seems like more a matter of interpretation than kind. I think that's where you will get the real conflict.

"stop emotionally manipulating me"
"wtf dude I just asked if you could do the dishes becauses I'm not feeling well COUGH COUGH"
 

JocktheMotie

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I read the first page and last two - what's your def of emotional manipulation? Or did you already mdefine it? The way the question is set up its like asking "who likes being taken advantage of?" it seems like more a matter of interpretation than kind. I think that's where you will get the real conflict.

"stop emotionally manipulating me"
"wtf dude I just asked if you could do the dishes becauses I'm not feeling well COUGH COUGH"
I avoided going down this road, but you're right, you can perceive manipulation in nearly any sort of expressed emotion whatsoever, but I think a good rule of thumb is the existence of deceitful intent. But even then, I'm sure people can deceive unintentionally and their manipulative tendencies are unconscious, unknown; manifestations of defense mechanisms, as in my experience. Which ties in to my earlier response; I no longer find myself getting angry or defensive so much as I am silently amused. The best way to beat it is to simply not let it affect you, call it out when you see it, but not to become OVERLY defensive about it, seeing it everywhere you look because then it's still affecting you and your relationships, but in a different manner.
 

Vasilisa

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[MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5143]Salomé[/MENTION] I request you please stop sniping at one another at this juncture in this thread.
I ask this now before the tipping point after which posts traditionally are edited or removed.
 
Last edited:

1487610420

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[MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5143]Salomé[/MENTION] I request you please stop sniping at one another at this juncture in this thread.
I ask this now before the tipping point after which posts traditionally are edited or removed.

FTFY.
 

Redbone

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I read the first page and last two - what's your def of emotional manipulation? Or did you already mdefine it? The way the question is set up its like asking "who likes being taken advantage of?" it seems like more a matter of interpretation than kind. I think that's where you will get the real conflict.

"stop emotionally manipulating me"
"wtf dude I just asked if you could do the dishes becauses I'm not feeling well COUGH COUGH"

True. I think I define it as when someone wants me to do something or behave in a particular way without asking me directly. That's too loose, so I will give an example. My niece sent me a text the other day, "Just saying hi." Okay. The next day, she called me. I ignored both. Then my sister (her mother) called me and I did answer. She asked if I would call my niece because she needed my advice on a feral cat she had taken in.

Now, to some, her text might have been just an opening. But I know my niece, which is why I didn't answer her phone or her text. That's how she works. She lived with me for a little while and I told her point blank to stop trying to butter me up and just ask for what she wanted. That I didn't like her attempts to be sweet to me so that it increased the chances of a "yes". To be fair, I think she believes that this is the way people are supposed to be and that there is no harm in it if it achieves an objective. It's just a tool to her.
 

entropie

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I'm at least as old as andante, and can assure you there are plenty of NTJs who both plan and act. It's why our actions tend to be so effective.

yea effective they are, just sloooow :D
 

entropie

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Thats not necessarily a logical answer to my statement :D
 

Salomé

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[MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5143]Salomé[/MENTION] I request you please stop sniping at one another at this juncture in this thread.
I ask this now before the tipping point after which posts traditionally are edited or removed.
Nps. I already bored of this idiotic exchange.

Feel free to remove my posts anyway...
 

King sns

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:wtf: with this thread?? "Aww man, I can't get ENOUGH emotional manipulation!!! Me and my friends do this all the time! It's our favorite past time! While other friends are out there on roller-coasters or in bars and book clubs and other things friends do, we're so above that! We love to try to play a game to see who feels the baddest and most guilty and broken in the end! It's all in the name of psychology!!"
 

xisnotx

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I think ultimately only I control (or even understand) my emotions and as such manipulation by an outside force is difficult to begin with.

If a person wants to try to manipulate me then he is free to do so. If he succeeds, then more power to him.
 

rav3n

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:wtf: with this thread?? "Aww man, I can't get ENOUGH emotional manipulation!!! Me and my friends do this all the time! It's our favorite past time! While other friends are out there on roller-coasters or in bars and book clubs and other things friends do, we're so above that! We love to try to play a game to see who feels the baddest and most guilty and broken in the end! It's all in the name of psychology!!"
You'd think so, wouldn't you? And yet, people continue trying to emotionally manipulate others and people continue allowing others to manipulate them.
 
A

A window to the soul

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Don't care. Where there's emotional chaos, there's a golden parachute out of it.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I was thinking about the environments in which this most strongly operates and it seems to often be connected to the level of ego investment. The most extreme environments that have manipulation (which tends to have an emotional component) are the most competitive environments. It seems like it is the sense of self that is toyed with in these scenarios - either through flattery and building up the ego, or through criticism, fear, insecurity, even guilt that makes people questions themselves.

It can have effective short-term results for people, but I think the long-term results are that communication is completely distorted to the point that it becomes cumbersome and constantly unclear. People become overly defensive which perpetuates the manipulation in these negative feedback loops. More could be said, but that probably sums it up a bit. My point is that I don't think manipulation is primarily about emotion, but ego.

edit: Also there is some sort of correlation between manipulation and false ideas and statements. Lies need help to perpetuate and so I think that is a primary role of manipulation - to help perpetuate falseness. I think the most prevalent forms of manipulation are bragging, dismissing, snap judgments, humiliating, insults, etc. Pretty much anything inauthentic or untrue.
 
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