[MBTI General] Emotional Manipulation

[JocktheMotie]

Eh. I mainly find it amusing in a pathetic sort of way when I notice it, and if I don't notice it until it's too late then I really have nobody to blame but myself for being too trusting. I generally think I'm able to sniff it out pretty well, due to a lot of exposure while growing up but it's unfortunately led me to become an untrusting individual and nearly incapable of accepting positive praise without becoming suspicious.

So I voted for honeybadger ain't care.

 

[kelric]

NTs, what's your take on being emotionally manipulated? Do you like it, don't care or despise it?

Despise it. Granted, there is sometimes a fine line between emotional conversation/action that can be considered "manipulation" and "expression", but anything that comes down on the line of emotional manipulation (especially using guilt or the "if you loved me you would <X>, *sob*" tactics to try and force me to do something) I find repugnant.

Unfortunately, I've had both of those (and other) tactics used on me before, and I'm not very good at fending them off. Even as much as it angers me that someone I care about would use that sort of thing on me, it works (in the short term). I don't really have much defense against it, other than to just completely reject someone, and I don't enjoy that either (and sometimes it's not an option -- family, etc.). But there are very few, if any, behaviors that someone can exhibit that will turn me away from them faster, or more permanently, than trying to manipulate me like that. Yeah, drop this on me in the heat-of-the-moment, and you'll probably get your way -- I'm not fast enough on my feet on those situations to defuse them gracefully. But don't expect me to have much to do with you after that.

What if the individual believes it's for your own good? Would it change your response? What if there's self-interest associated with it?

Tough. If you think something's for my own good, tell me so. Explain yourself. I'm a pretty reasonable person, and I'll listen. I may not agree, but I'll give you a chance. I will be *far* more offended at the tactic than I will be appreciative for the motivation.

 

[Salomé]

WTF are you talking about? Are you drunk?

Are you unhinged? What an idiotic thread.

 

[rav3n]

I will be *far* more offended at the tactic than I will be appreciative for the motivation.

Agreed. In using emotional manipulation "for your own good" denotes a superior to inferior inflection, where the other person "knows best" and you can't possibly gauge what's good for you.

 

[Thinkist]

SF. They probably wouldn't be as convincing to me. Not that I really know that, I'm essentially just guessing.

Hopefully other NTs can agree. Plus, SF is the shadow of an NT.

 

[ThatGirl]

I'd be surprised to find ANY type that appreciates emotional manipulation.


My opinion—nothing ending in manipulation is ever turns out good.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

I'd be surprised to find ANY type that appreciates emotional manipulation.


My opinion—nothing ending in manipulation is ever turns out good.

^

 

[Salomé]

I'd be surprised to find ANY type that appreciates emotional manipulation.

My opinion—nothing ending in manipulation is ever turns out good.

This is a no-brainer. You would have to be retarded to vote "yes, I'm a big fan of being maninpulated!" So why the poll and the dramatism? Unless you're trying to make a point to/about someone in a passive-aggressive way. Which is pure emotional manipulation.
Oh.

 

[rav3n]

This is a no-brainer. You would have to be retarded to vote "yes, I'm a big fan of being maninpulated!" So why the poll and the dramatism? Unless you're trying to make a point to/about someone in a passive-aggressive way. Which is pure emotional manipulation.
Oh.

Paranoid much?

 

[Salomé]

Paranoid much?

I think you're mixing up your mental delusions.

 

[erm]

I'm not an NT, but I see emotional manipulation as a tool/method. It's a means without an end.

So how I judge it depends on what end it is being used for. I'd like for someone to emotionally manipulate me in ways that help me achieve my goals, dislike the opposite, and don't mind when it has no affect on my goals one way or the other.

Classifying what counts as manipulation and what doesn't will lead to all kinds of semantics, but for all the definitions I can think of the above applies. To get nitpicky, it's my overall goals that affect this judgement, but various instincts and minor parts of me might judge it differently. For example knee-jerk reactions based on past experiences, or feelings I let go of after they arise, but a person being a mass of different things that's pretty complex and rarely in unison, the above is just a way of summing up the net reaction, the judgement that has the largest affect on my behavior and experience. (That applies to practically everything involving opinions though, so I'm not sure it needs to be said.)

 

[Little_Sticks]

I'm not an NT, but I see emotional manipulation as a tool/method. It's a means without an end.

So how I judge it depends on what end it is being used for. I'd like for someone to emotionally manipulate me in ways that help me achieve my goals, dislike the opposite, and don't mind when it has no affect on my goals one way or the other.

Classifying what counts as manipulation and what doesn't will lead to all kinds of semantics, but for all the definitions I can think of the above applies. To get nitpicky, it's my overall goals that affect this judgement, but various instincts and minor parts of me might judge it differently. For example knee-jerk reactions based on past experiences, or feelings I let go of after they arise, but a person being a mass of different things that's pretty complex and rarely in unison, it's just a way of summing up the net reaction, the judgement that has the largest affect on my behavior and experience. (That applies to practically everything involving opinions though, so I'm not sure it needs to be said.)

Yeah. It would almost be like arguing whether a social construct is implicitly manipulation. The construct is abstract, its terms always being negotiable by our individual minds. But we need some abstract terms of our own to organize and communicate how we see the world as it is or should be. So even the process of judging another as being manipulative can be argued as a manipulative goal in itself! essentially...

 

[rav3n]

I think you're mixing up your mental delusions.

Consider getting psychiatric help. This is a serious suggestion.

 

[Ginkgo]

Anyways, this issue is of great interest to me. I'm curious to know how NTs on this site feel about emotional manipulation, whether people have a strong aversion to it like myself or if otherwise, prefer it or don't care.

Do you personally know anyone who prefers it or has justified it in their own behavior?

 

[rav3n]

Do you personally know anyone who prefers it or has justified it in their own behavior?

A good opportunity for me to say that this thread isn't directed at anyone on this site.

As far as your question, yes to both.

 

[Ginkgo]

A good opportunity for me to say that this thread isn't directed at anyone on this site.

As far as your question, yes to both.

I don't like having my will subverted. If someone were to try to control me, I would prefer it be direct, rather than indirect. If it was direct, I would know, which would give me leverage and at least the power to think for myself. The reason why any sort of manipulation is insidious is because it usually doesn't grant whoever is being manipulated to even know what is going on. Emotions tend to cloud rational choices, which reinforces ignorance. I think that influence and manipulation shouldn't be confused, because there is a difference between one trying to candidly convince someone and trying to orchestrate everything about the other person. If someone hardly ever tells you what they really want, and almost everything they do is an attempt to work through your preferences, then I consider it to be manipulation. There is also a difference between championing someone's preferences and trying to piggy back off of them.

 

[Salomé]

Consider getting psychiatric help. This is a serious suggestion.

Hasn't done much for crazy cat lady.

 

[rav3n]

Hasn't done much for crazy cat lady.

But of course, what other comment to expect from the creator of pulled straight out of ass stories while wearing the crown of dunceness, nothing matching reality, only the emptiness of self, buffered by blissful paranoia.

 

[Salomé]

I'm just perceptive that way, I guess.

Maybe you'd get your point across better if you wrote in English.

 

[rav3n]

I'm just perceptive that way, I guess.

Perception twisted so tight, there's phenomenal impact on where the brain resides whereby the grey matter in the cranium has no part in the process.