I have thought with certainty for quite some time that I am an INTP, without doubt or question. However, recent developments in both my personal life and what I would identify as a growth of maturity both on an interpersonal and intrapersonal level has caused a slight shift in my overall perception of the external world, so to speak.
It is rather difficult to specify every exacting detail of what goes on in my mind, because it is (and has always been) a place of abstraction; dense, hazy, and often nebulous.
There are specific descriptions of Fi-traits or Fi-inspired traits that I have identified with. Whether this is because my Fi has been maturing, or whether I am actually a mistyped INFP has been nagging at the dark recesses of my mind.
Looking back to my own development from when I was a teenager until the current day (I am currently in my early 20's), I can still see, quite clearly, how I was rather repressed emotionally from middle to high school. During that period, I spent countless hours reading and researching various schools of thought be it theistic, philosophical, or simply spiritualist in nature in an attempt to better understand the world and my place within it. Sounds rather Fi-based, does it not?
As I grew in maturity, age, and crystallized knowledge/information, my personal bias for objectivity, logic, and rationality eventually became stronger and stronger, becoming the locus of my external relationship with both people and the world around me. I grew colder, more apathetic, and more confident with each passing season. I am not sure whether this is simply the natural development of my genetic predisposition/personality type [with external stimuli], or a reactive backlash against a world that I felt was both meaningless and uncaring. After all, where is the logic in trying to help others when the majority of the human species could not care less whether I live or die?
While I realize that those people who I have close emotional or biological ties would certainly be affected by my well-being, my logic and rationale for being essentially a heartless asshole to most people seemed rooted in objective, observable phenomenon. I fully admit that it is processed through my own subjective lens, and may be less objective than I see it however. With inductive reasoning, I felt that my justifications were strong enough for me to behave in such a way as to remain intellectually honest. There was simply no reason strong enough to compel me to act like a caring, selfless human being.
Let us go to the next point then, which is how I interacted with the external world and society despite my rather cynical outlook. I view (and still do) myself as more or less a "chameleon." I observe and analyze the behaviors, personalities, and preferences of individuals and groups and respond accordingly in order to achieve my desired outcome within the context of my relationship with said external individual/group. For example: I will suck-up to my professors in university if it means forming a closer relationship, with the intention of using that relationship to get a better grade in class. I will outright reject friendship if I find someone to be intellectually insufferable, without concern for their thoughts or feelings. I view to this day rationality and intellectual honestly as the highest principle to which I hold both myself and others to; if they do not meet or attempt to meet this criterion, then I usually see them as intellectually inferior, and not worthy of friendship (unless there is some other rationale, and it needs to be good; e.g. said individual will aid me into getting a certain job somewhere, etc).
I know everything I've stated up until now probably makes me look like a psychopath or sociopath in certain regards, but I highly doubt this to be true because emotions certainly do exist for me. I don't view emotions as unnecessary or even place them on the list of non-important psychological attributes, but rather it is my preference to separate emotion and logic; feeling and rationality. I do believe with all honestly that one's interpersonal and intrapersonal emotional stability & health are vital in maintaining a sense of tranquility and solidarity, and in this regard, I place quite a bit of emotional investment in those who I deem to be close friends. It is simply difficult for me to open up to people because my arrogance and lack of trust are extremely difficult barriers to break down, even for myself.
TL;DR: Pride is an asshole, who was depressed as a teenager, who then started to take solace in his intellectual capacity for reason, learning, critical thinking and information archiving, and developed a sense of arrogance and security within that internal system. As of now, he is so wrapped up in his preference for logic & rationality that he has a hard time making friends with people who do not have the capacity for strong critical thinking or behave in irrational ways. He is not sure whether his capacity for caring & the needs may be his original or natural state of being, and whether his preference for rationality & intellectual honestly are just defensive mechanisms to hide an original state of kindness and irrationality... (I am not sure what the original state might be; this is just an assumption)
What do you think, ladies and gentlemen? Do I "sound" like an INTP? Or maybe something else... (like an alien?)
It is rather difficult to specify every exacting detail of what goes on in my mind, because it is (and has always been) a place of abstraction; dense, hazy, and often nebulous.
There are specific descriptions of Fi-traits or Fi-inspired traits that I have identified with. Whether this is because my Fi has been maturing, or whether I am actually a mistyped INFP has been nagging at the dark recesses of my mind.
Looking back to my own development from when I was a teenager until the current day (I am currently in my early 20's), I can still see, quite clearly, how I was rather repressed emotionally from middle to high school. During that period, I spent countless hours reading and researching various schools of thought be it theistic, philosophical, or simply spiritualist in nature in an attempt to better understand the world and my place within it. Sounds rather Fi-based, does it not?
As I grew in maturity, age, and crystallized knowledge/information, my personal bias for objectivity, logic, and rationality eventually became stronger and stronger, becoming the locus of my external relationship with both people and the world around me. I grew colder, more apathetic, and more confident with each passing season. I am not sure whether this is simply the natural development of my genetic predisposition/personality type [with external stimuli], or a reactive backlash against a world that I felt was both meaningless and uncaring. After all, where is the logic in trying to help others when the majority of the human species could not care less whether I live or die?
While I realize that those people who I have close emotional or biological ties would certainly be affected by my well-being, my logic and rationale for being essentially a heartless asshole to most people seemed rooted in objective, observable phenomenon. I fully admit that it is processed through my own subjective lens, and may be less objective than I see it however. With inductive reasoning, I felt that my justifications were strong enough for me to behave in such a way as to remain intellectually honest. There was simply no reason strong enough to compel me to act like a caring, selfless human being.
Let us go to the next point then, which is how I interacted with the external world and society despite my rather cynical outlook. I view (and still do) myself as more or less a "chameleon." I observe and analyze the behaviors, personalities, and preferences of individuals and groups and respond accordingly in order to achieve my desired outcome within the context of my relationship with said external individual/group. For example: I will suck-up to my professors in university if it means forming a closer relationship, with the intention of using that relationship to get a better grade in class. I will outright reject friendship if I find someone to be intellectually insufferable, without concern for their thoughts or feelings. I view to this day rationality and intellectual honestly as the highest principle to which I hold both myself and others to; if they do not meet or attempt to meet this criterion, then I usually see them as intellectually inferior, and not worthy of friendship (unless there is some other rationale, and it needs to be good; e.g. said individual will aid me into getting a certain job somewhere, etc).
I know everything I've stated up until now probably makes me look like a psychopath or sociopath in certain regards, but I highly doubt this to be true because emotions certainly do exist for me. I don't view emotions as unnecessary or even place them on the list of non-important psychological attributes, but rather it is my preference to separate emotion and logic; feeling and rationality. I do believe with all honestly that one's interpersonal and intrapersonal emotional stability & health are vital in maintaining a sense of tranquility and solidarity, and in this regard, I place quite a bit of emotional investment in those who I deem to be close friends. It is simply difficult for me to open up to people because my arrogance and lack of trust are extremely difficult barriers to break down, even for myself.
TL;DR: Pride is an asshole, who was depressed as a teenager, who then started to take solace in his intellectual capacity for reason, learning, critical thinking and information archiving, and developed a sense of arrogance and security within that internal system. As of now, he is so wrapped up in his preference for logic & rationality that he has a hard time making friends with people who do not have the capacity for strong critical thinking or behave in irrational ways. He is not sure whether his capacity for caring & the needs may be his original or natural state of being, and whether his preference for rationality & intellectual honestly are just defensive mechanisms to hide an original state of kindness and irrationality... (I am not sure what the original state might be; this is just an assumption)
What do you think, ladies and gentlemen? Do I "sound" like an INTP? Or maybe something else... (like an alien?)
And that's why I'd say you are INTx instead of anything with an F preference.
