• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENTJ] ENTJ quandry

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
He was full of determination. He decided that if I couldn't come to see him, he would come to me. BUT, then he got drunk and drove into the back of a parked car. So there went the money for the trip.

I was LIVID about the drunk driving.

Yeah, hmmmm. Now that this is in print, it's sounding even worse.

That's awful, I'm unsure that this is to do with him being ENTJ so much as a less than exemplary individual when it comes to processing and managing his feelings, whatever feelings he was experiencing which caused for the drink driving, and they could've been good feelings, not even anxiety or anything like that, he needs to address that, big style.

I'm an archetypical ENTJ, not great with feelings, its not a strong function, it can be overwhelming and I usually have to look for it as spontaneously experience it but I dont behave irresponsibly as a consequence.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
That's awful, I'm unsure that this is to do with him being ENTJ so much as a less than exemplary individual when it comes to processing and managing his feelings, whatever feelings he was experiencing which caused for the drink driving, and they could've been good feelings, not even anxiety or anything like that, he needs to address that, big style.

I'm an archetypical ENTJ, not great with feelings, its not a strong function, it can be overwhelming and I usually have to look for it as spontaneously experience it but I dont behave irresponsibly as a consequence.

That sounds exactly like what's happening with him, except yes, he IS behaving irresponsibly and selfishly. He seems to logically acknowledge what the end result will be to a given situation, but then emotionally he resents the consequences and feels like they dont apply to him.

His emotional life is like being on the moon for him.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Sounds like this ENTJ is in a Se-grip. When Se manifests, it kicks you around the block until you can assimilate it.
 

uncommonentity

New member
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
440
xNTJs are great at feigning being a pansy when they're a badass and a badass when they're a pansy. We're tricky bastards.

I think that if a man is really into you he will make things happen (actions) and not just talk about doing something (not an actual action).

This.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Sounds like this ENTJ is in a Se-grip. When Se manifests, it kicks you around the block until you can assimilate it.

That's what I attributed it to as well. It's like he just can't stop. He's indulging himself on a binge-worthy level, and it's obvious his self control is nowhere to be found. He'll even agree that, logically, XYZ will occur, and that it will be foolish, but then he'll do it anyway. He keeps managing to find a way out of the situations he perpetrates.

Funny woman. You're playing with my sensibilities.

*jingly cat toyZ 4 U*
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
OH, thank you. I think luck will take the form of not speaking to him again. lol
:( As badass as XNTJs can be, the description seemed like that of a 13 year old boy not getting what he wanted.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
:( As badass as XNTJs can be, the description seemed like that a 13 year old boy not getting what he wanted.

Yeah. I think there's definitely some tantrum-esque behavior going on. Perhaps I was just expecting him to act like an adult in all areas, not just in his career/professional/networking life. His emotional life is very deficient. And since he's aware of this, but isn't willing to allow the people he's invited in to assist him, then there's not much else to do. I would say there's a serious lack of trust on his part, and even though it's obvious he has no answers of his own, he's unwilling to learn from anyone else.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
I read the OP.

Honestly, if your man is an ENTJ and he really wants you, he wont be easily deterred by things like, distance. After all they believe they can make anything happen. If you keep putting on the breaks though, and denying a momentum that keeps occurring, chances are you are frustrating the shit out of him.

There is nothing worse than, "here is a fun game, lets act like we don't like each other!" :happy2:

*dawns ENTJ badge*
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
xNFPs can be way more bad ass, imo. We are what Senza calls "hug rapists". Also, cuddle ninjas, bed panthers, and pandas of mass destruction.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Nooooo...hugs...ptooey, ick.... :butterflee:

Accept your fate, bad ass mortal. The Hugging and Kissing and Cuddling of Certain Doom(tm)(pat pend.) will commence with or without your consent.
 

Adasta

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2010
Messages
393
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Have you considered writing a business plan? I suggest you put in goals and targets for Q1-4, culminating with copulation at Year End should all targets be achieved.

I think he'd find the emotional detachment of this process to be a breath of fresh air.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Have you considered writing a business plan? I suggest you put in goals and targets for Q1-4, culminating with copulation at Year End should all targets be achieved.

I think he'd find the emotional detachment of this process to be a breath of fresh air.

Where might I download the forms? And will I need a notary? :D
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
He wants to bone you because he sees you as fresh and exciting meat so he's just throwing a tantrum about not being able to have you when he wants. I'd question him 'feeling' anything for you no offence.
Agreed.

It's bugging him out because he can't 'get it'. ENTJs lack patience. I've been really close to an ENTJ male and he either sees you as a unique and exciting prospect or just another thing for him to eat up. He'd always offer to 'share' his whatever women with me but informed me that if he ever found a girl who he actually respected and loved he'd never be willing to share her. xNTJs have a lot of whatever women. Totally breaking a brocode here but I'm no bro I'm a god damn robot.

xNTJs are smooth pimps who love the pussy. And Tubby there is their black man servant. What?

In other words I just advise you to be aware.

For example, An ENTJ could ask you to define the relationship to him so that you believe you are in a relationship and then save yourself for him but in reality have no actual intention of anything full throttle besides getting inside your panties. It's like, make girl think we're committed so it's all mine. It's not just xNTJ males who do this many do.
Ugh, I just stepped in a huge pile of BS! Wait, is LadyJaye in high-school?? :laugh:

Some women perform the same sort of rituals when they want mad dibs on dick.
Oh? Is that so?

I've recently met an ENTJ guy - he wants to date but we're in seperate states, so to him this means it's not going to happen. This didn't stop him from calling or texting me everyday, being flirty and joking around. But since I've known him ( since January) he's had at least two meltdowns, meaning abruptly becoming very emotional and angry, each time because our relationship lacked definition. He's still having one night stands ( which I knew about), so I didn't think us having a definition was important. He said speakng to me, skyping with me, was teasing and antagonizing him because he was too far away, but he's always the one initiating the heavy flirting - I suggested we keep things mellow, so it wouldn't "tease" anyone, but he seems to shift into gear anyway. So, the question is this : he's either emotionally shut down, or he's having a minor explosion,

I read all of your posts in this thread. I'm going to shoot straight, your ENTJ friend is low class and broken. At minumum, immature. I have never had an ENTJ treat me the way you described. Correction, if it ever happens, it doesn't happen very often. The decent ones will work with you and actually gain respect for you for calling them out.

and other than approaching him calmly, and being honest with him, I don't know what else to do? I would appreciate enlightenment on the workings of the NTJ in regards to their emotions.
Calmly and honestly tell him how you feel about issues as they happen. That's the only way to deal with an ENTJ male. If he has feelings for you, he will remember what you said, so trust him there. Chances are his intentions were not to anger/hurt you in the first place (assuming he's a good guy).

If he's not 'hearing' you when you share your feelings, then that's his problem, not yours. Walk away before you're vested. As I said, I suspect he's broken.
 
Top