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[INTP] Why you are not getting laid.

Thalassa

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The nicest thing Simulated World ever did for me was to confront me about my ignorance.
 

jimrckhnd

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Don't most INTPs grow out of this at least by the time they're out of college?

Not all. A significant percentage (mostly the males of the species) take another decade or so. A small fraction never do - fortunatly they rarely reproduce or become supervisors.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
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Not all. A significant percentage (mostly the males of the species) take another decade or so. A small fraction never do - fortunatly they rarely reproduce or become supervisors.

The same could be said of most males... they dont really mature until they hit closer to 30 and start getting a taste of mortality as friends and family begin to die off and they begin to age a little and realize they want to be a force for the positive in life rather then tearing shit down.
 

Lark

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I dont do that and I still dont got game so it cant be the whole of the story.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
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Don't most INTPs grow out of this at least by the time they're out of college?

Shit, damnit, ARGH!

...I knew I should've gone to college.
 

Rasofy

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This is about social intelligence. I used to be the perfect bad example of this article:

Insecurity and Social Intelligence / Vibing

As social animals, we’re designed to enjoy socializing and small talk. Not only do they allow us to form important social bonds and alliances with others, but they also help us identify who is, and who is not, a member of our group.
When people are communicating according to these social rules, they act as a social lubricant – the end result is a pleasant flow of conversation and ideas – what we call a vibe.
People who don’t understand these social rules or don’t follow them are doomed to come across badly, even if they’re a totally worthwhile or good person. Why? Because people normally break the vibe when they’re acting on insecurity.

Let’s take the somewhat weird but very common example of ‘rhetorical sequencing’.
James is very excited about a great deal he got on an awesome jacket, and wants to tell his friend Bob:

Good Example
James: Hey man, you’ll never guess how much I paid for this jacket
Bob: Wow, uh … $200?
James: No man, it was $60!
Bob: Awesome! Good job, it looks great

Bad Example
James: Hey man, you’ll never guess how much I paid for this jacket
Bob: Oh, you got a deal. I guess $40 then
James: Uh, actually $60
Bob: Well that’s not bad I guess
Bob here is telegraphing insecurity. His subconscious thought process was: “I’ll show James how smart I am, and how I picked up that he got a deal on the jacket. Then I’ll have shown him I passed his test!” His desire to be right, his desire to try and give an accurate guess to make himself look smart completely killed the vibe.
Secure Bob realises that James got a deal, but also realised that he wasn’t asking a real question – something lower end, but still high enough that even if the guy didn’t get a great deal, he’ll still feel good.

Let’s take another example. James and Bob are vacationing in London:
Good Example
James: Wow man, check out that building! That rocks!
Bob: Whoa, that’s huge!

Bad Example
James: Wow man, check out that building! That rocks!
Bob: Yeah, that’s cool. But dude, you should see New York. New York KILLS this place
The person who’s not vibing correctly is failing to understand something: the purpose of the initial comment isn’t debate – it’s building a social vibe. The content isn’t the communication – it’s the veneer over the subcommunication that says: “Let’s have a nice time, build rapport with each other, and chill out”. Bob is instead using them as opportunities to try and make himself look good – killing the vibe entirely.
http://www.growyourgame.com/articles/social-skills/insecurity-and-social-intelligence-vibing/

When around friends I tend to still say it, but I say it as nerdily as possible and toss in a very breathy, arrogant fake laugh. I figure making a joke of it isn't so bad. After all, "well, actually" is pretty much Larry David's whole shtick on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Interesting. We can't shut out our Ti, but there is still a fun way to correct people. :D
Problems arise when:
a) this behaviour it is more about ego than logical consistency
b) the other person is intellectually insecure and would rather remain wrong than face the fact that he/she might actually be wrong.
 

citizen cane

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I may be one of these 'well actually' people. :unsure:
 

ZPowers

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Interesting. We can't shut out our Ti, but there is still a fun way to correct people. :D
Problems arise when:
a) this behaviour it is more about ego than logical consistency
b) the other person is intellectually insecure and would rather remain wrong than face the fact that he/she might actually be wrong.
I have encountered B before for sure. I generally welcome correction when I am (factually) wrong, so it doesn't always immediately occur to me that sometimes people would sacrifice accuracy for appearances.

A... well, it's not generally a factor, but it may arise when dealing with someone who is being rude, condescending or inconsiderate. One night I was hanging out with friends and one brought this guy who was so arrogant and self-assured all the time. He let you know that he felt he was intellectually superior to you. At one point in the night, I corrected hum by noting Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were both Sunni. Not only did I care that I did so without sarcastic and semi-dickishly, I was glad I did.
 

Resonance

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What if the person you are "well, actually"ing is the one who's insecure about their intelligence and constantly spouting and trying to defend inaccurate statements with obvious origins?

"Hey guys did you hear? It's official: Pluto is not a planet! Fuck you, Pluto!"
"Yeah, totally! Lucky for Pluto though, the vote was rigged, so nobody's going to actually recognize it and everyone who matters will forget it happened."

"Your blood type is O? Say, you don't eat much meat! That must be why you have so many problems with digestion! I'm going to add meat to your shopping list."
"Well, actually, the blood type diet is not based on any scientific studies which have ever been published despite the author's claims that he has loads of evidence, and also my digestion is definitely correlated with stress and is actually better when I eat less meat. I appreciate the thought, though."

"Ah, you gave me a Quartz? It has healing properties! And can make rain fall! That's not too good since we have been having way too much rain lately."
"Um...maybe... I was thinking it's supposed to amplify clarity of thought, since I remember you mentioning you feel like you have brain fog sometimes so I thought this might help when that happens. It's shaped like the first letter of your name, too!"

Like, sorry guys, but..
 

Jessica

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"Ah, you gave me a Quartz? It has healing properties! And can make rain fall! That's not too good since we have been having way too much rain lately."
"Um...maybe... I was thinking it's supposed to amplify clarity of thought, since I remember you mentioning you feel like you have brain fog sometimes so I thought this might help when that happens. It's shaped like the first letter of your name, too!"

Like, sorry guys, but..

lol @ that example. You must have mineral anxiety. :D

As a side note, I can't believe people still bitch about Pluto not being a planet... Pluto doesn't deserve to be a planet.
 

Jessica

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"Ah, you gave me a Quartz? It has healing properties! And can make rain fall! That's not too good since we have been having way too much rain lately."
"Um...maybe... I was thinking it's supposed to amplify clarity of thought, since I remember you mentioning you feel like you have brain fog sometimes so I thought this might help when that happens. It's shaped like the first letter of your name, too!"

Like, sorry guys, but..

lol @ that example. You must have mineral anxiety. :D

As a side note, I can't believe people still bitch about Pluto not being a planet... Pluto doesn't deserve to be a planet.
 

thisGuy

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I don't think NTPs have this urge to correct people...unless they are with a group that makes the NTP feel dumb. Then and only then, will the NTP be such a freaking annoyance.


Edit: Actually the mature NTP will not do this unless she takes it upon herself to be a mentor to people around her.
 

uncommonentity

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A lot of women are attracted to men who set the idiot straight so I feel this thread should be retitled "How to get laid".
 

Totenkindly

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That was really quick to read, and equally pointless.

Oh, stop being ornery: As one of the accused, it left me laughing (because it's so true!)
I had to give that crap up if I ever wanted to have friends; they wanted me to STFU.

Now I just interject spot-corrections into conversations for fun, rather than as my main contribution to social events. :D

tallulah said:
Don't most INTPs grow out of this at least by the time they're out of college?

yes, that sounds like a reasonable target date.

(Well, ACTUALLY, not EVERY INTP goes to college. Some don't even graduate high school. Especially the ones who are locked in the basement all their lives and have food slipped under the door since they keep interjecting pointless corrections into everyday chatter.)

Edit: Actually the mature NTP will not do this unless she takes it upon herself to be a mentor to people around her.

If the relationship is defined in a way that permits this style of interaction, then it's acceptable. Otherwise it's rather boorish.

Of course, like I said... I'll do it just to be funny nowadays... playing up how boorish it actually is.

EDIT: Actually, I came to this thread to discover why I am not getting laid.
I still do not know the answer to that question.
Disappointed!
 

entropie

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Hee funny article, but well actually I have some remarks: :D

As software developers, we develop habits that allow us to build products that work and do not fail under stress.

The article became unrealistic with this sentence :D.

But our engineering strength is also our social weakness.

Software Developers are no engineers ! Who hasnt at least drilled a 1200 mil hole into stainless steel is no engineer !! :D

"Well, actually, the origin of the word Shih Tzu means Lion Dog and has nothing to do with the dog's digestive patterns".

Well actually if you'd imagine a lion giving birth to a dog out of his ass, it would have to do with the digestive system. Its all a matter of perspective.

As a child, I wondered why my sister could make friends and keep them so easily, while I could not. It would take me years to discover this. And now, as a public service I am sharing with you, my fellow geek friends, what I learned.

Well the problem is actually the cause. Since you dont have friends, you are no fun to hang out with. Friends are their for personal reflection of the self in your early childhood up until the end of your life. Friends are there to guide you and to help you being yourself and being honest with yourself. Friends motivate you and make you happy so you motivate them and make them happy.

the geek attitude to always "think they are genetically different" cant be used as an excuse for things you have missed in your life. Well actually the whole attitude that says "I am not good at X but because of that I am good at Y" sucks. You can be good at both X and Y you just have to have the courage and to be true to yourself.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Friends are their for personal reflection of the self in your early childhood up until the end of your life. Friends are there to guide you and to help you being yourself and being honest with yourself. Friends motivate you and make you happy so you motivate them and make them happy.

That's why I keep an xNFP in my pocket. :D
 

Sinmara

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Well the problem is actually the cause. Since you dont have friends, you are no fun to hang out with. Friends are their for personal reflection of the self in your early childhood up until the end of your life. Friends are there to guide you and to help you being yourself and being honest with yourself. Friends motivate you and make you happy so you motivate them and make them happy.

You sound like a long-winded fortune cookie. :D
 
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