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[INTJ] INTJ psycho-analysing potential mates

Cality

New member
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Mar 2, 2008
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208
MBTI Type
ENFP
When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?
 

MetalWounds

More human than human
Joined
Jan 19, 2008
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678
MBTI Type
TP
Enneagram
9w8
When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?

No, not really, we like to know exactly who we are dealing with. Also this gives us useful information as to predicting future actions and deciphering motives behind the things you say/do.
 

Cality

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ok! interesting! any other reaction?

Just for you TJ guys : don't make it obvious when you psycho-analyse a girl. This is a strong love killer!
 

Splittet

Wannabe genius
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Jun 12, 2007
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INTJ
But when one is a bit stressed one tends to do what comes most natural to oneself, and guess what that is in the case of INTJs... :p Also my guess is INTJs interested in MBTI analyse other people more than INTJs who are not interested in it. Good news is I think most INTJs after a while will mostly stop to analyse you and get more into the moment, I guess ENFPs has a way with getting us and our attention out in the world.
 

matmos

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NICE
Relations between INTJ and ENFP would normally be one of "supervision" with INTJ as supervisor. I could rabbit on but the short of it is that this is not a *ideal* pair; you'll know this before the INTJ does. He'll have to think about it lots. [See h**p://www.socionics.com/rel/sp.htm]

My old boss at work was an ENFP and it became rather strange as he adopted the role of supervisee and I the supervisor. A very strange dynamic indeed.

Casual thoughts. Maybe INTJs are better listeners (needs to feed the N occassionally). This can come across as "psycho-analysis" if you are constantly surrounded by people who never really listen. Go into any bar or cafe and look out for someone really listening. It's an extraverted world and people that take the time to pay attention stick out, albeit unconsciously.

Fs get a good or a bad feeling about people and that's it - and usually they're right, fairly quickly. Being less gifted in this arena NTs would probably hold back until they've got the evidence. Ergo if you ask me why I like or don't like someone I can usually list the reasons with supporting evidence.
 

Splittet

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Messages
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INTJ
I could rabbit on but the short of it is that this is not a *ideal* pair; you'll know this before the INTJ does.

Actually the INTJ and ENFP are an ideal match, according to certain MBTI match theories.

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ_rel.html said:
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the INTJ's natural partner is the ENFP, or the ENTP. INTJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.

The theory behind it: Natural Partners
 

matmos

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Actually the INTJ and ENFP are an ideal match, according to certain MBTI match theories.



The theory behind it: Natural Partners

There are lots of theories. From personal experience I'll go with the socionics one here. I don't discount the possibility that I'm wrong, though.

With all respect to ENFPs, the ones I've known generally get on my goat after a while; mostly probably I get on their's too. This is seldom instant.
 

Splittet

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INTJ
There are lots of theories. From personal experience I'll go with the socionics one here. I don't discount the possibility that I'm wrong, though.

With all respect to ENFPs, the ones I've known generally get on my goat after a while; mostly probably I get on their's too. This is seldom instant.

Don't forget that INTj Socionics is INTP MBTI. INTp Socionics is INTJ MBTI. Not that this Socionics theory is any more positive then: Illusionary relations between psychological ("personality") types

Personally I just think the INTJ-ENFP relationship has great potential, but obviously it's not going to work out every time, the specific individuals in question are obviously of utmost importance. Type certainly is not the only important characteristic of a person, humans are far more complex than that. All types can simply have positive and negative relationships, although some types on average have more positive relationships. It's all so painfully obvious.
 

matmos

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Don't forget that INTj Socionics is INTP MBTI. INTp Socionics is INTJ MBTI. Not that this Socionics theory is any more positive then: Illusionary relations between psychological ("personality") types

Crivens - you're quick on the rebound.

Forgot about the socionic/mbti mismatches :blushing: Thanks for the correction.

I suppose the OP is really looking for an answer to something that's bugging them. Rather than bombard them with theories a better solution is be honest from personal experience. Maybe that will be more help than a few charts and mandala wheels.

Cheers.
:cheers:
 

matmos

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We have something in common. With Socionics theory this would be "illusionary" - so don't build your hopes up.:hug:

EDIT: That was a joke BTW. Don't want to get into a EF/IT rumpus.
 

Cality

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yes but since you are not a socionics INTJ, it's not illusionary! ;)
 

matmos

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yes but since you are not a socionics INTJ, it's not illusionary! ;)

Er. As Splittet quite rightly pointed out Socionics INTP (=MBTI INTJ) relations with MBTI ENFP are - allegedly - "illusionary".
 

LostInNerSpace

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Jan 25, 2008
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When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?

I'm not an INTJ, but I am more or less on the P/J border.

You're right. I've spent my adult life learning everything I could about how people think--women in particular. I've come a long way. I know a lot about what makes people tick, and it's a very useful thing to know.

On reflection it was probably not necessary. You can just go up to a girl, say "hi", and more or less let Chemistry take over, assuming there is Chemistry there in the first place. But I did not understand that until I really started to understand how people's brains work.

I think now that I know what I know I would be much more comfortable just enjoying company and sharing time.:D
 

Usehername

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May 30, 2007
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3,794
Why would you not "psychanalyze" a potential mate?

This one decision can have more consequences on the rest of your life than possibly anything else you decide. If you're not compatible, wouldn't you want to know this from the start before feelings get all involved?
 
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